u/charlize-moon

They communicate like small children, and adults speak to them a little bit like children as well. Very different to how James and Connor or Madison are, where they have a lot of OCD tendencies, and even hobbies that are childlike, and anxious attachments, but they are definitely adults.

So Abbey and David's condition, is that a crossover with something else, or still autism? They seem mentally slower, I don't know how to explain it cause on the other hand, they do have a great memory. But in terms of understanding I'm not sure they understand things. I also don't know if they are aware of it. Just curious of the nuances

EDIT: To be clear I don't want to pry into anyone's lives and I'm not asking to diagnose them or expose their conditions, I just used them as an example. I was curious about what autism means

I'm in the middle of an important week because I have a deadline this weekend to submit a portfolio for a new job. I got out of town to my parents house in the country (which is empty) so I could be alone to finish it.

As soon as I arrive, my aunt calls me to say that my cousin happens to be in this little town this week as well. I've never heard of her coming here ever so I'm very surprised, but I say oh what a coincidence, well I would love to see her even though I'm super busy this week. I make it very clear that I'm not here to socialise.

I haven't seen my cousin in many years, we don't have a relationship, we used to when we were little and I do miss that, but they don't put much effort to get together. Even in Christmas when we are all in the country, they rather meet their friends, so whatever. Last time I saw my cousin one-on-one was 10 years ago when she stayed at mine for a few nights, and then one dinner with the whole family a few Summers ago where we couldn't really talk in private.

ANYWAY

The next morning my cousin calls me and right off the bat asks me to stay with me for three nights, as if it was a given, since we are both in town. Honestly I'm taken by surprise because I absolutely cannot sacrifice what I have to do this week, and the sole reason of me being here is to work. I am brief and to the point and I tell her so. She says she'll be busy with business also and she's not a bother and she only needs a bed and then she could save getting a hotel, and that she's family etc...I try to very gently say the house is not even set up for guests and she starts interrogating me on how many beds we have and how is it not possible to find one bed...and at that point I'm a little, I wasn't expecting to have to justify this so much.

I'm conflicted because any other time, I would have been over the moon to have her, and I've kind of been waiting for that side of the family to be a little more in touch. But right now exactly these three days, is not a good time. She doesn't understand because she can't understand- She knows nothing about my life, context, health issues I've had, many things that have led me to this place, where this matters a lot to me. And no, I don't think she can just come in and lie on my couch, not having spoken to her in so long, that's super awkward. I want to know about her life, I want to catch up, of course it's a distraction. Of course I would feel compelled to be a good host. And I 100% know they will judge me for everything from my assistance to the state of the house! Whether it's made explicit or not.

So in the end I said I could not offer her this right now, but I would love to see her while she's here- She is giving me the silent treatment, even though I would very much make an effort to meet her while she's in town, because she hasn't been in this town since we were seven years old. It's just very sad. I'm sad and annoyed with myself but I don't think there's anything I could have done better, without putting her convenience first at the expense of mine.

Would love to know what this looks like for others or if you see yourselves in these situations with family. Family relationships are feeling more and more cruel to me as time goes by, I feel like I can do nothing right. They always ask me for things I cannot give.