u/chernadraw

Hey,

I’m writing a novella that’s proving more difficult than I anticipated so I want to get some early opinions. What I’m mainly trying to figure out is whether you think it has legs: Does the voice remain engaging rather than exhausting? Does the concept feel sustainable for roughly 25k words?

A few notes going in:

-It starts as a loose retelling of the bible, but gradually goes off the rails.

-It’s not intended as a mockery of religion, though it is inherently sacrilegious. If that bothers you, this isn’t for you and that's okay.

-The voice shifts more and more into my second PoV character as the novella progresses.

Blurb

Haishai is starting a new project: creation. This bland, infinite, empty nothingness is outright terrible. Seriously, who came up with that? Certainly not him —he was already there from the get-go. And he would have done so much better. So it was time to put his perfection to the test and fix this heinous oversight, himself forbid he has to endure this eternal boredom.

With nothing but his wits and omnipotence on his back, he sets out to create not only the world, but meaning itself. Otherwise, what’s the point? Mountains, oceans, stars… But why stop there? Life, love, suffering, social media… he’d invent it all. Make it exciting. Make it fun.

Of course, godhood is a tricky business. Angels would envy him, humans would fumble, and the universe might not behave up to his expectations. But Haishai wasn’t worried, he was The Man. Everything would sort itself out. Eventually. Probably. Right?

Excerpt:

Genesis

In the beginning, I was already there. Always was, always would. How could the universe not have this ability on its own? Don’t ask, just trust me. Not like you have a choice.

So I created the heavens and the earth, a stage had to be set first. And then came the light! Bright, unwavering, energizing. Without it, nobody could see my design. Not even me!

And Creation seemed to follow a path of its own, logically and methodically building itself from one step to the next. Except it hadn’t, it was all me. And I did it as such because it made sense, to me. Circular logic, I know — for I know everything. Deal with it. That’s the thing about being God. Not one of those Olympians or Aesir humans would later invent, but the one and only God. Contradictions cannot contain me, because they derive from me. But I digress...

It was a simultaneously improvised and pre-planned act, driven by an energy that could not sit idle. Power surged from my metaphysical innards, turning the unreal into the tangible. Things happened as I willed them, simply going by vibe.

I admired the light, and it admired me back. Maybe. And the light was good, because it came from me, and it split itself into day and night. The former to appreciate creation, the latter to recover from so much awesome. Even perfection needs rest, for its temporary absence makes its return all the greater.