u/chiselObsidian

I recommend this short story. It's by and about a trans man, and shows what it's like to catch casual transphobia - including anti-trans-youth sentiment - from a "liberal" cis person in a position of power over you.

Context, briefly: a few days ago, a user came through our subreddit soliciting hookups. We removed the comments and banned him. He sent a distasteful message via modmail, which I nearly always brush off, but this time it got to me, and I vented about the message in a different subreddit, paraphrasing it. I then got an automated three-day ban for promoting hate based on identity.

This is annoying and I did appeal the ban, but I'm posting here because I think automated bans of moderators should work differently. Banned moderators cannot take any moderation actions, and because I'm the main active moderator of my subreddit, this means it was open season for three days. Either of these options would help:

• mods who have received automated sitewide bans should be able to send modmail to the rest of the mod team of that subreddit, to alert them
• an automated message should be sent to all the other moderators of that subreddit, informing them which moderator has been sitewide-banned and for how long

Has there been discussion of this in the past? I searched and didn't see much.

> chaser comes into my wholesome family subreddit, posting as chasers do

> remove the posts & ban user

> user sends us a rude message

> tfw bothered by the rude message

> vent on tgcj about the rude message

> get an automated three-day sitewide ban for posting transphobia

> tfw reddit's ban-bots don't even understand the use / mention distinction

This post was submitted to the moderators of this subreddit, to post anonymously.

Hi folks! My 14yo recently came out as..."maybe trans, mostly non-binary". I'm happy for them and proud. I'm trying to understand what the best way to get them support is. They have recently been diagnosed with 2e ADHD/giftedness. There's been some suicidal ideation and self-harm. They have a therapist, but I was surprised when they told me that they had not spoken to the therapist about this topic. So....what's the best way for me to help them get the support they need to make their own choices? Do I....just wait and let them lead? Do I try and proffer support and a gender-identity focused therapist? Any thoughts on these intersections that might be useful? Would love to learn! Thanks.

Many people use the terms AFAB and AMAB as present-tense adjectives: "my AMAB daughter", or "my son (AFAB)". This is typical, and in most spaces nobody will object to that use.

In some trans communities, there's a push to use language slightly differently. The norm is to say "trans daughter", "trans son" - or just "daughter", "son", or "child" if it's obvious from context that the person is trans. When you're referring specifically to the historic fact of what sex your child was assigned at birth, it's encouraged to spell the acronym out: "my daughter was assigned male at birth, and... (I have questions about how to change her birth certificate)".

The reason for this: ASAB, as a brief concise acronym that gets used a lot, tends to communicate something similar to "biologically male/female". It associates the sex someone was assigned at birth with their current trans self. Using that historic fact as a present-tense descriptor sits wrong with some (not all!) trans people.

This is not a firm rule on this forum. Nobody will be sanctioned by the mods for phrasing this one way or the other. I'm just offering this as something to consider : )