u/choerry_bomb

Psalm 23 is actually one of the most powerful scriptures I’ve had in my life in how it has shaped my mind and heart toward God. He is my contentment and overflow and comfort, and I don’t need to look anywhere else for that joy and peace. But unfortunately it can sound superficial the way that everybody and their grandma knows this Psalm and recites it like it’s the Pledge of Allegiance, something you might’ve said every day in elementary school if you live in the US. “He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake” is the most important part - life is all about being conformed to the image of the Son of God, to the glory of his name alone.

Jeremiah 29:11 is the other one. Of course God has good plans for us. But too often people have this delusion of perpetual stability and prosperity when often that is not reality in the Christian life, and that delusion becomes an idol and there is more focus placed on what God can bless us with than how God wants us to build our faith and trust him no matter the circumstance.

ordered two mini muffins this morning and when i pulled up to the drive thru i overheard a bit from two girls working behind the closed window. as soon as i pulled up i heard a frustrated guttural scream. i cant even describe the sound

one of them, in a “i cant believe myself” tone: “IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE TWO, BUT IT’S JUST ONE” or something like that

she kept saying that for like a whole minute and the other girl was responding to her in disbelief, i couldnt hear the whole convo but i kept hearing something about “TWO of them, NOT one” and im not 100% sure they were talking about my mini blueberry muffins but it was funny to hear nonetheless. after a couple minutes a girl greeted me at the window and she seemed completely collected.

this is actually not the first time i’ve sat awkwardly at the scooters drive thru window and heard this type of thing, same location too 😭 it feels like im in a sitcom lmao

im not complaining it kind of made my morning. also the muffins are nice little snack

edit: another time before this, i was waiting on a drink and i just heard some girl losing her mind and letting out banshee screams 😭 im 95% sure she was the same girl bc she had a distinct vocal tone

That's something a pastor said that has stuck with me. God was not shocked at the fall of man. He is not any more shocked at the state of humanity. The plan of salvation was from the beginning.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I’m born again, I have experienced radical transformation in my soul as well as supernatural miracles, and there is no reason for me to doubt that God is real and He is alive and active.

But ever since I recently had a deliverance experience and realized how real and serious the spiritual war that we are in, I’ve been pretty much stuck on the Epicurean paradox, which is an age-old question, and almost ALWAYS one of if not the main point of contention in a debate over whether there is a god. I sort of spiritually know of God’s omnipotence, omniscience, and omnibenevolence in some sense. But trying to make it coherent is really eating at me. Here’s the paradox, pasted from Wikipedia.

1. If a god knows everything and has unlimited power, then it has knowledge of all evil and has the power to put an end to it. But if it does not end it, it is not completely benevolent.
2. If a god has unlimited power and is completely good, then it has the power to extinguish evil and wants to extinguish it. But if it does not do it, its knowledge of evil is limited, so it is not all-knowing.
3. If a god is all-knowing and totally good, then it knows of all the evil that exists and wants to change it. But if it does not, it must be because it is not capable of changing it, so it is not omnipotent. (end of Wikipedia quote)

I mentioned deliverance. I was set free. I now have more power to resist what I was set free from and it no longer has a hold on me. After my deliverance, my insomnia vanished and I have slept like a BABY the past three weeks and I’ve NEVER had better sleep in my whole life. I went outside and I felt like I could feel the sun on my back for the first time. Light was brighter, my brain fog was cleared, and I had a stronger sense of my identity in Christ. I felt like I was born again, AGAIN, like I was a child forming my identity from the foundation. I didn’t have a dramatic deliverance with crying or coughing, just felt a heaviness instantly lift out of me and I felt like I was free of condemnation and I finally had the supernatural peace and joy that I had when I was first saved.

I am not revealing so much about what exactly I’ve been delivered from for personal reasons. I’ve been set free, hallelujah. But I have more questions about God than ever, now that I know that deliverance is very real. Apparently demons can enter through things in early childhood that children have no control over, whether it’s abuse, trauma, neglect, etc. For example, SA in childhood is common in guys who experience same-sex attraction. They never chose to be abused, but the abuse can contribute to identity confusion that leads to a lifetime of searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places - hookup culture, pornography addiction, drugs and partying… (not saying that this is true with all men with SSA but it is a common theme in the people I know who experience SSA.) And a lot of these guys DIE IN THEIR SIN because “tHe deViL hAs bLinDed tHem.” They were broken and looking to fill that void in all types of things, which it’s also impossible to convince any homosexual that homosexuality is sinful because they are “just that way,” and it’s just so that those spirits became strongholds because desires of the flesh are never satisfied and GOD HIMSELF can give them over to a reprobate mind according to Paul. This all starts small and leads to SO much destruction and chaos, and there is so much confusion in the area of sexuality and where God is in it all.

Why the demons of addiction and SSA and all this trash that nobody asked for? The fact that people CAN be set free of these demons, yet 1) a lot of these people will not be saved and 2) God is not preventing a lot of this childhood demonization altogether, is quite baffling to me, to say the least. It’s the problem of evil. Why does a good god let unspeakable things happen to children and then watch the cycles of abuse and sin and darkness go down from generation to generation?

I still struggle with whether Adam and Eve and the Fall is real or allegorical sometimes, but hey, we believe 100% in Jesus and Jesus talked about how God first created a man and a woman, so there’s a pretty good reason to believe in Genesis. But what is up with letting demons influence humans and this idea of original sin? I have that trilemma mentioned above with the Epicurean paradox. But I also don’t really see why, foreknowing that all this chaos and confusion and darkness would drag His creation to eternal separation, He still created the angels and the humans and would lose most of His billions of humans to the darkness.

Yes God is technically bringing evil to an end. But then people are going to suffer for ETERNITY all because of the work of the devil? So many people are demonized outside of their control and nobody “chooses” SSA and have the propensity to live in iniquity characterized by sexual immorality. How is this just?

I am aware there are debates around whether ECT or annihilationism is true, but I don’t believe universalism personally. I’m also not here to debate whether SSA is spiritual or not or whether homosexuality is sin. The point I’m trying to make is that demons enter and operate unfairly, giving people all types of unwanted issues, whether people are aware of it or not. Call it ridiculous if you want, try and tell me that a lot of Jesus’s ministry wasn’t exorcism.

So lately I’ve been dissociating from reality a bit because this cannot be real, like I am in a dream and I will wake up at any time. I can’t be sure that my reality is really “real” and that there are other “real” people living consciously in the same realm. Maybe God really is real in some sense, and I’m experiencing the same god as every other true Christian, but this has to be some sort of sick joke, and I have no idea how anyone in heaven will have peace knowing that the smoke of the torment of the damned rises forever and ever. Too many people are unsaved because they grew up in a different religion and didn’t hear the gospel. You’re trying to tell me God left it in the hands of PEOPLE to try to spread the good news?? Man it’s been 2000 years since Jesus and I honestly don’t think any more than 10% of the world is born-again Christians. So many Asian nations have a less than 1% Christian population. European nations pride themselves in being atheist. Or maybe people are exposed to the gospel but they innocently get into new age or reiki or yoga or whatever the heck to try to find healing and peace, not knowing the Bivle forbids these practices, and they unknowingly open portals to demons and die in the process or something freaky. Like it’s truly mysterious to me that God wills not one to perish yet it’s EXTREMELY easy to perish for lack of knowledge and FEW are those who find the narrow gate and STAY on the narrow path (oh yea forgot to mention I believe there are people who are once saved and then fall away, that’s just fantastic).

Please don’t say something like “Oh you’re so gifted with a heart for the lost and a burden to bring people to God!” like somebody told me. If I’m just a clump of neurons in a nutrient bath in a lab somewhere, it’s never too soon to pull the plug already. My pain and suffering is real; I pulled a hamstring last week. I couldn’t help but think of how the Bible says it would be better if the son of perdition wasn’t even born. Yet God still created Him.

Idk if it’s because I haven’t paid attention but I only just noticed you can choose light ice, no ice, or extra ice in the app now….. I’ve been wanting this since like two years ago because my drinks are always like 50% ice and even when I specifically request less ice I don’t see much of a difference lol. When did they add this?

I’m not trying to be sacrilegious or promote anything health/wellness gospel. But does anybody else feel like Christianity is like this cheat code to life? I’m talking in terms of the love, joy, and peace that we get to have in Jesus.

I had a radical born-again experience last year after a long period of crippling depression and anxiety. The depression and anxiety has not come back.

I have so much joy sometimes that I find myself giggling like a little kid at the smallest of things in life. The joy of the Lord is truly my strength and it keeps me going. It’s why I wake up and live and have motivation.

The peace which surpasses all understanding has given me a sustained sense of wholeness and completion that I cannot get anywhere else. I’ve been meditating more on Jesus and I’ve literally never had better sleep in my ENTIRE life. He keeps in PERFECT peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3). Jesus said His peace He gives unto us, not as the world gives (John 14:27), and it’s true. His peace is priceless. I know that because Jesus has overcome the world that I truly have nothing to fear. I no longer feel like I have to perform or strive for acceptance and favor because what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law would be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit (Romans 8:3-4).

The true hope of eternal life that I have is amazing, yes, but the newness of life that I live currently is unbelievable. I used to have all sorts of addictions and they have just crumbled as I spent time in God’s presence. He is so holy that one encounter with Him radically made me stop liking all the unhealthy stuff I was addicted to, like iced coffee and fast food and social media and YouTube. It can never satisfy. I get strongly convicted of things that I didn’t even think were sin.

I have asked and I have received. Everything I have asked for in the Father’s name (according to His will of course) is mine. I have honestly been blessed an insane amount. I’m not saying this is or should be the case with Christians, but it really feels like I’ve unlocked “Life Premium” sometimes, and I wonder if anyone else feels the same way.