u/chronicidlepose

howdy. some background info first. i (27f) am deaf. i saw my audiologist on wednesday for the first time since 2020, and i have an average of -75db loss in both ears with a sharp decline into -90db in my right at around 1.5khz. i have not had insurance or financial stability for the greater majority of my life until about 5 months ago, and my state insurance is generous enough to cover my bespoke new prescription hearing aids, which will be in my ears in the next month or so. since 2021 i have been on-and-off using the same shitty cheap otc hearing aids i was able to buy myself at the time, which help with volume and presence but not much else. i was born with my eardrums broken and after two decades of ear infections, re-rupturing, tubes, and frequent exposure to concert-level sound (my dad liked his music LOUD in the car), my ears finally gave in. my parents were shitty in general, and didn't want to or weren't able to get me the resources i needed as a hard of hearing child to be able to learn asl, get hearing aids, or have the sense of mind to maybe just accommodate me. as a result, i've become VERY good at reading lips, and i find myself frequently, if not constantly, exhausted by putting in the extra effort to fill in whatever blanks i can fill in with what hearing i do have or visual cues i am able to pick up.

here's my question: how do i let myself be deaf? i'm so exhausted all the time and i feel like my brain has become so used to working overtime all the time so that i can operate in a hearing world without being able to really hear. how do i start the process of undoing all that extra learning and survival-based overworking so that i can finally just rest and Be Okay With Not Hearing Everything? it's not that i don't want to be deaf-- i'm learning asl, i'm finding and going to events, and i've made my peace with the reality of it, but i don't know how to physiologically allow myself to just let go.

any advice is appreciated, and i hope this is okay to ask.

howdy!
‘04 volvo xc70 here. i (27F, athletic but not strong) grew up in a mechanic family, and i’m stubborn, so when my local shop quoted me $2300 for a front strut and lower control arm replacement on my new-to-me car i said absolutely not and bought the parts myself.
Struts are pre-assembled, i have tools and a few jack stands. my youtube feed is now nothing but tutorials.

before i go into it and knowing damn well i’m probably gonna bloody a knuckle or two, what advice do you have for a first-timer doing a strut and lower control arm replacement? any pointers for this car specifically? anything someone might not have told me that i should be aware of? how do i make sure that i don’t permanently doink up my beautiful automobile?

thanks in advance