24, two kids, and feeling like I’m carrying an entire household by myself — am I wrong for wanting out?
I’m posting anonymously because I genuinely want outside opinions from people who have been in a similar situation.
I’m 24 and have two young kids. I’ve been with my fiancé for a while, but lately I’ve been seriously thinking about leaving. I don’t even know if I’m at the point where I want to fix things anymore, or if I’m just exhausted.
I’ve been working basically nonstop for the past 6 months. I was working the week I had my baby and went right back to working after I came home. On top of working, I’m taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking, appointments, household stuff, etc.
Today I cleaned the entire house while my fiancé laid on the couch. Later we went to give the kids a bath. He ran the bath water, but the bathtub was filthy. I said it needed to be cleaned, he got upset with me, and I ended up cleaning the tub, bathing the kids, and getting them dried and dressed myself.
And honestly, the bathtub isn’t even the issue. It’s the fact that I’m in a relationship but still feel like I’m doing everything by myself.
His older brother also lives with us. Neither of them currently has a job. They spend a lot of their time playing video games and smoking weed, while I’m paying for the household and basically supporting everybody.
I’m only 24. I have two kids. I don’t want to spend my 20s feeling like I’m somebody’s mother instead of having a partner.
The hardest part is that I have my kids to think about. I don’t want to make a decision that negatively affects them, and that’s honestly what’s kept me here and made me question myself so much.
I’m not saying I’m perfect or that he’s a horrible person. I just feel completely unappreciated, exhausted, and resentful. And lately I’ve been wondering if I’d actually be happier and less stressed raising my kids on my own than continuing to carry a relationship and household like this.
For people who have been in a similar situation: how did you know when it was time to leave? Did things actually get better when you stopped over-functioning for your partner, or did you eventually realize you were better off leaving? I genuinely want honest opinions, even if they’re not what I want to hear.