u/coldhands_darkheart

I helped my mom make the decision to move from full code to DNR and get the paperwork in place. She lives in skilled nursing long term care and I was surprised her status was full code, since her advanced directive turns down interventions. I’m glad we got it sorted out, it’s just a pain that this was never part of her care plan meetings, which they schedule to be only 15 minutes. I noticed her full code status listed on paperwork they printed out for a doctor’s appointment.

I know there are reasons for it but it’s just kind of maddening that full code is the default for an 80 year old person with a clear advanced directive who has dementia and is very frail and very unlikely to meaningfully survive CPR. What are we doing here?

My mom recently transitioned to long term care in a skilled nursing facility from assisted living after a fall increased her support needs. The care was very attentive the first two weeks, but now we are dealing with broken equipment and a lack of action or communication about some concerning clinical symptoms. I’m visiting often and talking to the nurses and sending emails and leaving voicemails to all the appropriate people. I wasn’t expecting this to be perfect, but it’s been such a letdown that we moved her here for a higher level of care, and this is the best facility in the area (5 stars on Medicare.gov) and a good reputation. Even the best nursing home is underwhelming. At the same time, mom is less able to communicate clearly with me which makes it difficult to know whether she has actually seen a doctor. She doesn’t know who anyone is and gets mixed up easily. I took time off work and rearranged my schedule for her care plan meeting yesterday and no one showed up! Despite confirming it on the phone and over email, they never put it on the schedule.