u/conflictw_SOmom

My friends and I got into this the other day. Some say every 2 wears, others say once a month. I honestly wash my jeans when they get dirty or once every 4-5 weeks once my period is done. I have 4 pairs that I rotate every day. I only wear them to work and I drive to work everyday. I work in an immunology lab that has the temp set at 68° 24/7/365. I don’t sweat at all and lot of the time, I’m sitting and doing computer work while my experiments run. And I take a shower every night so my legs are clean before I actually put them on.

I’m in life sciences and the title is pretty self explanatory. The potential Co-PI is a member of my committee but he’s from another university. I want to approach the possibility with my PI. My university does allow external major advisors for doctoral committees. The other professor is my research mentor from undergrad and has told me he would be more than happy to take on that role.

The reason why I think the professor from the other institution should be a co-PI is:

1. My project is biomedical but my lab is not. The other professor’s lab is.

2. I’m working with an anaerobe but my PI has 0 experience with anaerobes. My undergrad mentor does. I joined my current lab through his recommendation because my now PI had just gotten a new anaerobe grant.

3. I’m currently at my mentor’s lab for the summer for part of my project. I might have to come here multiple times depending on the direction of my project because he has multiple very very expensive machines that I can use.

4. He’s been very vital to the development of my project. A lot of it is his based on his ideas and suggestions.

I’m worried that my PI might think badly of it even though I have a good relationship with him. My undergrad mentor and he were labmates during their PhDs so they’ve been friends for a long time.

But I’d appreciate any advice on how to approach this topic with my PI.

I’m at a collaborator’s lab at another university for the summer to work on my project. And holy shit, this sucks. Not because the lab sucks. I wish it did but because I’m here and seeing how good it is. I’m sad I have to go back. The whole lab is so close and they genuinely care about each other. The PI is such an amazing and supportive mentor. He also cares so much for them as people. They joke around, he takes them to weekly lunches, bbqs, they’re comfortable enough to raid the coffee and snacks in his office and make mistakes.

My PI is ok. He isn’t bad by any means but there’s always an obvious power imbalance that makes me nervous about telling him I fucked up even though I always tell him immediately and he has never yelled. And my lab mates are nice ig but they never hesitate to throw one another under the bus. So I keep my distance for the most part.

I think the cherry on the top is that they’re doing the kind of work I dream of. My project is completely new to my lab. Like a whole new sub field new. So I often feel unsupported because my PI doesn’t have any experience with my project. But the lab here works on something very close to my project and it’s been really nice having people to bounce ideas off of and to help troubleshoot in the moment. Plus they’re doing such cutting edge work here that I wish I could do. But I’m not sure if my PI would be down for it. Plus he kind of only does work

The only reason I’m not at my collaborator’s lab for my PhD is because there was a hiring moratorium after NIH funding got frozen which was around the time I was applying. We were talking about me mastering out of my lab and joining him for my PhD but I got slapped with an epilepsy diagnosis earlier this year. One of the best epilepsy centers in the country is 30 minutes away. And my university offers grad students the same state health insurance as faculty but at a discounted rate. Grad student health insurance here is borderline useless. So I did a MS to PhD conversion with my current PI.

I’m very lucky to have this collaborator on my committee. I’m even luckier that I’m very close to him. He’s one of my mom’s friends from grad school. He’s been in my life longer than I can remember and is the person (other than my mom) who has unconditionally supported my dreams since middle school. He’s the person who drew me a diagram to explain PCR during my freshman year of high school.

I know I’m extremely privileged to have him and my mom to bounce ideas off of. And I’m lucky that I like my project and it has a large enough scope that I can keep it as a PhD project. So it’s not a total loss for me. But I’m just so unnecessarily sad right now. I’m staying with my collaborator and his wife and I’m literally in my room crying. Idk wtf is wrong w me. I just need some commiseration.

This is just me screaming into the void. I got diagnosed with epilepsy 2 months ago and my doctor made me switch off my Wellbutrin because it can lower seizure threshold. She put me on mirtazapine. Which has been good and it helps my fragmented sleep. But its made me so so hungry. I can deal with the food noise because I lost 25lbs over 6 months by myself with CICO and regular exercise. But the new meds makes me stomach rumbling hungry. Prior to starting the medication, if I don’t eat when my stomach grumbles, I’ll guaranteed become hypoglycemic and pass out in the next two hours. So I’ve been overeating and not realizing because I’ve just been following my hunger cues.

Mirtazapine is apparently used to stimulate appetite in patients undergoing chemotherapy and anorexics and I wish I knew that before I started. I’ve gained back almost 10lbs in the past month and a half since starting it. I’m seeing my doctor in 2 weeks to switch the medicine but I’m so annoyed right now. I was doing so good for the last 7-8 months. It’s tough dealing with a new chronic illness diagnosis by itself. But the weight gain has been the cherry on the top.