u/coolgirl2244

Im getting my first IV infusion tomorrow while inpatient at hospital for treatment resistant MDD, trauma and anxiety. How do I prepare, what can I expect and how will I feel afterwards?

My doctor answered these questions but I would also like to hear real life experiences. He also suggested I listen to music, what sort of music should I listen to? I was thinking probably something meditative or frequency sounds?

I’ve read on here that people set intentions beforehand - how do I do this? Is it just telling myself something like “I want to experience self love” ?

Does anyone journal while having it done?

Has anyone had ketamine treatment after having a horrible relationship breakup and found it helped them heal from it?

Sorry for all the questions, I just want to make sure I’m getting the most out of this. I will be getting around 12 infusions, 3x a week

Thanks!!

This is not necessarily about BPD but I have BPD and I need some people to understand the intense feelings I am having. Plus he’s my fp so I’m having trouble at the thought of letting him go

OnlyFans was always a big boundary for both of us, he always talked shit about men who would sub when they’re in relationships. We agreed that it is cheating. It was something we discussed often. My last boyfriend cheated on me and he knows how traumatised I was from that.

I opened my current boyfriend’s phone last night and lo and behold the OnlyFans page was right there. I broke up with him immediately and packed my things and now at the age of 27, I’m back in my childhood bedroom at my mum’s.

All day he’s been apologising. It’s so hard not being able to talk to him. I am shocked beyond belief. I keep throwing up. The girl he was subbed to has the same name as me :) I keep looking at her and comparing myself, I feel so ugly and naive.

I’ve had a phone call with him today where we both just cried. How do I move forward without him, knowing I’ll never be held by him again? How do I get the explicit images of the girl out of my head, and the image of what I imagine he was doing when looking at them (with me in the house btw).

Please help. I feel so alone. I’ve called a private psych ward that I’ve stayed in before during a mental health crisis but they don’t have any beds available right now. I am seeing a friend tomorrow which I am hoping will take my mind of things. But at the moment I’m throwing up and having frequent panic attacks. The images are strong in my head. I can’t comprehend why he would lie our whole relationship and tell me he feels so strongly about it being cheating but then go and do it to me? I’m shocked and I can feel every part of my body breaking