An unfriendly church.
Well, unfriendly is a little hyperbolic. I moved to a new town in NorCal, in the Santa Rosa Diocese. I’ve been attending it for a couple of years now. I still don’t know a single soul by their name.
Most of the Santa Rosa Diocese is extremely conservative. I’m from a different tradition, having come of age in the 60’s and 70’s in San Diego. Father Berrigan was an early hero. I was the first folk guitar player ever allowed to play and sing hymns in our little rural church. There was no individual sitting in the pews for whom I didn’t know the entire family. They were my social group.
I’ve moved around a few times over the years, and I’ve always been able to find a church where I fit in. Eventually I ended up playing church hymns as a profession, specializing in small rural mission churches where there was no room for a keyboard or, if there was, there was no one to play it. I very much loved doing this. I studied classical guitar so reading and replicating from piano scores is no problem. I’ve also taught freely to anyone who asked.
Working with the music ministry was always a good way meet the congregation in a new church and become part of the community. Most places were happy to have a volunteer. Since I’m retired now I can offer my time freely.
I’ve tried to participate with the small group who sings the hymns in this new church, but they don’t seem to want me. I play the music as written and they are used to cobbling the music together as best they can, with a varying degree of success. They arbitrarily change the key, the rhythms and the melody. When I foolishly tried to gently steer them towards a more standard rendition, I apparently did something wrong and now I’m only welcome if I play it how they are used to.
So that avenue is closed for me. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be any other avenue open. This church is very small. The nearest other churches only use chant and focus on the Latin mass, which really not my thing.
I’d try to get involved with another ministry, but there doesn’t seem to be any. No liturgical ministers, the same person reads all the texts and responsorial for every Mass. No after Mass gathering for coffee. I think they must have a catechism class because they just had a First Communion, but it’s never mentioned in the bulletin.
This is a largely working class congregation, about 2/3 Hispanic. After church they do not mingle. The entire place empties within a few minutes after Mass and the priest seems to run as fast as he can back to the rectory. I’ve introduced myself to the priest once about a year ago. I’ve never been able to speak with him again.
Upon rereading this, I realize it sounds a little whiney. But I’m lonely and sad at my inability to break in. Any suggestions?