u/cr4sh3r0ut3r

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would like to know how to appropriately care for wounds and when i need to chill the fuck out. i do not wish to hit beans, though fantasies say otherwise. i have been doing my best to keep clean, but sometimes the relapses are more violent because i keep trying to hold off on it or because the evil mental that comes with this makes me want to do worse. how to tell between what's just mild to deep styro and whats baby beans?

its been a few days since its started up again. i used to scar easier back during the super pit of when i first self harmed. its always been the blood and the scarring for me. i swore up and down i would always be careful and not go deeper than styro because i dont want anything life threatening, i dont want to have to go to the hospital, and i definitely dont want to be put in home asylum again. but now, its styro after fucking styro and all of it is healing so, so quickly and so well that im just not satisfied. i miss all my scars. i desperately want more. im so scared that if i dont scar better from styro, ill risk going deeper. any words of advice or help or support or anything is appreciated, thank you so much. i dont have anyone else to turn to.