u/crustykey

Hey everyone, been reading a lot of your stories and finding them really validating.

My partner recently tapered off a long term SSRI while starting a new one. Around the same time he walked out, sent me a letter accusing me of abuse out of nowhere, and has been holding firmly to that narrative for about a month. From what I’ve heard most people around him are confused by his behavior, but they all know he’s been dealing with a lot of mental health challenges. He doesn’t have a bipolar diagnosis but a lot of what I read here feels familiar.

Has anyone experienced a partner going through what might be a mixed state or hypomanic episode — especially triggered by a medication change? And did it seem like the volatility was directed almost exclusively at you while they seemed fine to everyone else?

Would really appreciate hearing your experiences.

As stated, my husband of almost 5 years, just left me a month ago stating he needed to regulate his body. He sent me a letter a few days after accusing me of psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting him, Darvo, and giving him complex PTSD. It’s wild. I am so confused and disoriented. I thought maybe he would backtrack some— realize what he said was too intense or not okay but he is convinced of it. Friends see him as not be grounded in reality. Full disclosure in the letter he references times I wasn’t at my best but even in those moments it would not add up to abuse. Anyway he has stayed the course. I butt dialed him the other day 3x in a row and he said “please stop calling” when the old version of him would have been so worried that I’m ok. Cannot state how confusing this is and just wondering if anyone has heard of an experience like this. I’ve read some on this thread about all the accusations that can come from those with bipolar. Definitely not saying my husband is bipolar, but at least hearing some people have had similar experiences offers some comfort.

As stated, my husband of almost 5 years, just left me a month ago stating he needed to regulate his body. He sent me a letter a few days after accusing me of psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting him, Darvo, and giving him complex PTSD. It’s wild. I am so confused and disoriented. I thought maybe he would backtrack some— realize what he said was too intense or not okay but he is convinced of it. Friends see him as not be grounded in reality. Full disclosure in the letter he references times I wasn’t at my best but even in those moments it would not add up to abuse. Anyway he has stayed the course. I butt dialed him the other day 3x in a row and he said “please stop calling” when the old version of him would have been so worried that I’m ok.

He has expressed interest in talking with a third party and hasn’t shut the door on our relationship to my knowledge yet. But his posture is so hardened (seemingly overnight) that even conversation feels nearly impossible.

Cannot state how confusing this is and just wondering if anyone has heard of an experience like this. I’ve read some on r/bipolar and a lot of people who have been with bipolar partners talk about being accused of wild things. Definitely not saying my husband is bipolar but at least hearing some people have had similar experiences offers some comfort.