u/csbbacsob

This is NOT medical advice, I’m not a doctor, etcetera etcetera.

For the last couple of years I have had a hard time keeping muscle on. A little research has revealed that on top of the thirst for sauce I’m probably way low on protein intake. I’m a middle aged man with this lifestyle, and weighing in at like 165 lb I probably need 125-150 grams of protein per day. This is surprisingly difficult to pull off when you aren’t hungry.

Tonight on my way home I ran into an old cowboy that I’ve known for years at the grocery store. He is a drunk. I hadn’t seen him in a while and holy shit does he look frail. He was using the cart to hold himself up, just a bag of fuckin bones. We bullshitted for a couple minutes, and he is clearly in deep shit from the looks of it. I was surprised he recognized me given how fucked up he seemed.

TLDR: Eat. Especially protein. And don’t follow the RDAs (70 ish grams) for protein if you are a boozer, it’s likely not enough.

A few months back I bought a fifteen dollar breathalyzer that didn’t work at all. So yesterday when I saw a nicer one at the world’s shittiest big box store I bought it.

I wanted to test it out on this summer’s go to, a double vodka lime made. I mixed it up, enjoyed the shit out of it, and waited twenty minute per instructions. Empty stomach but for sure zero BAC rolling in. I blew a .09 which is a DUI if you get popped. Obvs I’m not driving, this is for science.

Then I ate a big meal and kept pouring em back per normal cadence. I did a total of ten drinks in four hours and never got over .15. So obviously the food levels out the absorption, always knew that intuitively but interesting to see it measured. No doubt this is why many of us stop eating, because an empty stomach makes for a faster come up..

I think if a person is going to drink and not die maybe the way is beer and wine and lots of healthy food. Like I imagine the Italians and French do. Could a man start steady drinking beer and wine with lunch and just keep er rolling till beddy-bye in this way? I think so, as long as you avoid the high test shit, esp straight. Straight liquor on an empty stomach has got to be way way sketchier than the slow and low burn of wine and a nice lunch. This would of course require some self control….that’s the rub.

Guys I was checking up on an Amazon order and lo and behold I rented a movie four days ago and do not remember watching it. It was “Idiocracy” which is kinda ironic.

Did I watch and forget? Rent it and pass out without pressing play? Get abducted by aliens, watch it with them to explain Earth, and have my memory wiped by those little bastards?

My money is on option number one. Don’t remember a goddamn thing. Hopefully I didn’t order a Latina sex doll during that same time warp….

Guys I’m trying to land this mofo. I had been rolling pretty heavy for a while,
Probably 15 units daily for some time. Starting having some warning signs and need a break. So yesterday night I spaced out 11 units, saving 4 for right before bedtime.

Probably slept 2-3 hours all night, sweats, stupid vivid scary dreams. Feel like shit. Anxiety etc. it’s gonna be a long day. Guess I should cut back slower.

How many fucking times am I gonna do this? Likely not many more…

That’s what’s left of my shift at my loathsome job. I can’t wait for it to be over.

When I get home I’m gonna chug an oil can Foster’s and get a steak out. Make some tasty dinner while listening to podcast and then eat while watching Trailer Park Boys. I’m a simple man.

What are you fuckers doing after work ( if you have a job ) ?

Two shitty tray made ice cubes in a small glass. Fiddy/fiddy mix of Tito’s and limeade. Yeah man. It hits. I crave it.

I’ve had a number of summer drinks over my career. There was a great summer when I painted the house and grabbed a six pack of Rolling Rock each paintin’ work day at about 2 in the afternoon. Back in the good days before shit got crazy. Drinking a six pack of that is easy when it’s hot and I never got too fucked up. No using the ladder after number three.

I also had a rum and coke summer. I had quit my sales job and was working a delivery situation. Sailor Jerry’s, coke, lime, lotsa ice.

Sierra Nevada Summerfest was the go to brew for a bit. No one is carrying that here the last few years. Bummer cuz it is a delicious beer.

What are my brothers and sisters imbibing this viciously hot mother fucker of a summer?

I have been following her posts and it sounds like things were headed south. I’m hoping she made it to the hospital and gets her self patched up.

Currently having a fantastically refreshing vodka limeade in her honor and hope she is doing alright.

I rented Blue Velvet yesterday and the last scene I remember was Dennis Hopper’s line that is the title of this post. Currently rewatching the last third of the movie which I know I watched yesterday.

Great film. David Lynch was an incredible talent. Hopper is unhinged. We even have Isabella Rosalini’s tittles, doowop music, a great drinking scene.

And TBH, I kinda think Heineken is over rated.

Cheers mofos.

I love to cook and I’m pretty good at it most of the time. I like to make dinner about 5-6 whilst drinking, and then watch dumb shit on my iPad while eating. More wine and vodka with dinner of course.

Then the weed pen comes out and maybe I watch more drivel or maybe I listen to some 70s rock. Then I black out and go to bed.

The next morning I’m confronted with dirty dishes, skillets, half eaten plates of shit here and there. Empties are of course part of the mess. Last night I must’ve broke a glass because there’s pieces of it everywhere.

There’s a great Schwarzenegger movie from the early 80s called Raw Deal. Usual formulaic plot that’s of course secondary to muscles, one liners, and lots of violence. Anyhoo, at one point Schwarzeneggers character comes home and his wife is shithoused and the oven is like on fire and he drops the line “you should not drink and bake”.

Myself, I am drinking as I bake because I have the shakes so bad I couldn’t cut the parchment paper. Couple shots really helped.

What am I baking? Glad you asked. I save up all my shitty leftover weed, decarb it, infuse into butter, and then make trash cannacookies. Motherfuckers pack a punch. I dig em, esp cuz the weed part is basically free seeds and stems and leftovers.

I know y’all like to drink. Do you drink AND bake?

It’s all beautifully sad.

Up until say ten tears ago or so I had my act together, in spite of the drinking. Spouse, kids, money in the bank. Then things started to catch up to the champ, middle age, annoying but not show stopping health concerns, fatigue, marital problems, and an unrelenting sense of doom. IMO that’s kinda when the time line shifted. Crazy politics, pandemic, wars, UFO disclosure, the collapse of decency and truth, all kinds of shit that was previously unimaginable has come to pass.

Fast forward to now, I’m living along in a crap shack and spend too much time on Reddit trying to push back the witching hour till noon at least. Separated from spouse. Still have a job/money but I don’t think that’ll last. They know I like the sauce. I like to think I’m a good hand but it’s hard to know if that’s an accurate assessment as I’m making it from a place of compromised mental clarity. With the kids grown up I just don’t even know what’s fucking next. My purpose was to be a family man and I still look out for them but it’s different.

If I was an outside observer I think I could make some pretty obvious predictions about this chapter.

I rolled up to my usual place, looking to grab an after work handle of poison. As I get out of the truck, it starts rolling backwards…I forgot to put it in park. I lean into the interior of the door, trying to stop it. Yeah right, I’m a popcorn fart, no way am I holding back a 7000 lb truck. It’s speeding up and I’m close to falling which will mean getting ran over by my own vehicle in the liquor store parking lot.

I think fast and jam the e brake to the floorboard, narrowly averting catastrophe. Jump back in, start her up and pull back into my parking spot, and damn sure putting it in park. Grabbed my booze and fucked off to crap shack.

For the record, I was sober, just stupid. Would have made a better story if I died but glad to be here I think.

TLDR - place vehicle in park before exiting.

I like Hunter S Thompson. In earlier days I’d hit the library and grab his stuff.

Apparently early in his writing career he drank this whiskey. The local liquor store carries it because I buy a bottle every now and then. It’s thirty bucks. Tastes a lot like entry level Bushmill’s. That’s not a complaint.

It’s raining here, fucking lovely to go with this here double on the rocks.

The rain should last about five minutes being this is the desert in springtime. Once it’s over I have a craving for a homemade taco bowl. Ground beef, pinto beans, extra sharp cheddar, salsa, sliced avocado, pickled jalapeños. I make it low sodium because I’m old and that salt makes my heart race.

Godspeed degenerates. Please remember to eat. Maybe buy the nicer bottle today.

All you have to do is not drink.

But fuck that amiright?

There is another way, and that is to eat enough food. I realized here recently that I probably should eat more than just dinner. To that end, I go home at lunch time and make a meal. Something fairly substantial. That has really helped. I also force myself to eat a shitty little protein bar at breakfast.

I also crush snacks….if I wake up to pee in the middle of the night I raid the fridge for whatever. Cheese, chips, salami, I don’t give a fuck. I’m underweight and wasting away, dipshits are ruining the world, give me the Tostito’s
Queso dip. What’s this, a chocolate TimTam? Not any more. Some mornings I awake and it looks like the Cookie Monster had his way with my kitchen.

Night and day difference. Been doing this a couple of weeks now and it’s so much better. And not just gut health but overall I’m less tired, cranky, and anxious.

Currently enjoying an 11% Belgian quad from Straffe Hendrik leftover from my trip a while back. Oh my. Never had this stuff before but I highly recommend it.

Chairs brothers and sisters.

My bro is a CA but doesn’t seem to know it. His wife is out of town for the weekend, and I live alone in a crap shack because my lady is fed up with my bullshit.

Anyhow, he came over yesterday afternoon and we proceeded to drink like maniacs. A liter of Titos between us, plus probably 6-8 beers. A bottle of wine. And a fucking ashtray of prerolls gone in their prime. A quart of Millers. Dishes in the sink ( we made some mighty fine dinner ).

Time for a little hair of the dog and then the clean up efforts can commence.

Chairs mofos.