u/curioustars

It's embarrassing but I'm sure this isn't a unique problem, it's just a really annoying one and I'm not really finding anything about it. I've just recently realized that hypnosis might be able to help me with some mental hurdles in my life and has the potential to be very effective. The issue is that I've had a hypnosis kink since I was young, and it's pretty much just conditioned in me at this point. I cannot separate it, or at least it's extremely hard to. Arousal happens pretty much immediately, and it's super distracting. I try to ignore it, but it also gets my heart rate back up and I lose the relaxation. This feels like a very weird and uncomfortable thing to go to a professional about, so i'm not sure what to do. I guess I don't want to get rid of it all together but I just want to be able to separate it, you know? It just doesn't feel like I have a choice in the matter. ​I'm not even kidding when I say I almost cried one day because it just wouldn't stop. And it's only over this!

Edit: I'm a woman and the arousal has nothing to do with the person, but the process.

Remember how AOL had celebrity sound packs to replace the usual You Got Mail? I swear to god there was a Star Wars one that had old Obi-Wan saying 'Your eyes can deceive you,' as one of the sounds. It's such a weirdly specific memory thats etched into my brain. Maybe it was on AIM? It was probably around 2000-2003 when I was around 13. I can't find a trace of evidence that it existed.

(Or perhaps kind of intentional?)

Had to share my childhood crush and late, great actorman's sleep video 🥹❤️ He was so dreamy.

So I ditched social media and rarely use my phone except for Discord and text, but now I'm having a weird moment. I started reading HEAVILY again after easily a decade plus of not being able to focus enough. Now I'm reading 2 books at a time and DEVOURING manga like I never have before. Finishing one manga in a day wasn't often a thing I did even when I was younger, now I'm finishing 3 daily. I think the intense focus might be giving me brain fog again.

Has anyone had this happen with reading or any other activity you replaced phone time with? Do you think I might just have a problem in general. Granted, I do have adhd, but... I dunno.

I'm trying to figure out if this is related to my chronic pain issues, or if it's because of the weather being funky. My eyes have just been hurting so bad for the past, like, four days. Is anyone else experiencing sinus symptoms from the weather? I mean, obviously someone is, but I'm just wondering if it's in larger numbers right now lol

Edit: Thanks, guys. With my mystery chronic pain I literally can never tell if something is just nothing, or if something is a new symptom that just never goes away lol