u/curlystephi

Hey folks, my girl is 12 months old so she's definitely starting to be cognizant of what's going on and how the adults around her are behaving. I've realized in the last few days that my emotional regulation could really use some work, but I don't really know where to begin with that. Is it just a discipline issue?

For context, my husband is a teacher, so during summer break he has been a SAHD. He is so wonderful at it and she absolutely adores him. And I understand that she prefers him right now because he's with her 24/7 while I'm gone for work for 9 hours a day. I do usually take over baby duty when I get home, handling bath time and bedtime and anything overnight. But bedtime has been rough lately, and I've been getting really discouraged. Last night, she kept crawling to the door of her bedroom and whining and saying "dada" over and over. It was heartbreaking for me, and I shut down. Texted husband, he came in and hung out for a while, we had a conversation about my ability to put the emotion aside and just "show up" for her. He asked if I wanted to try soothing her again, I said no and left the room. Spent the rest of the night devastated.

I do have diagnosed bipolar II disorder (depression, minor and brief manic episodes) and I've always had a hard time bouncing back from the depressive moments. How do I learn to just set that shit aside when I'm with her, and be the best mother I can be?

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I was hoping to find some kind of wiki, but instead I'm asking you experts to shed some of your vast wisdom on this lowly "doing laundry correctly" newbie.

TLDR; new house, fancier machines than I've ever had. I'm definitely doing laundry wrong right now (too much detergent, too large loads). Wanting to switch things up and start fresh with the new machines. Pls help

I have always used really old machines with very simple controls that I haven't really trusted to work right. Probably my own bougie bias against cheap and yellowed appliances, truthfully. But I'm like most of the population and have always used way too much detergent. I'm also probably (definitely) guilty of making my loads too big.

Now my current situation: we are purchasing our first home, and it comes with the washer/dryer, and they are fancier than I've ever used and of course I want to take good care of them. I think the washer is WA54M8750AV with a matching dryer. I don't think it has an agitator.

I have a baby who loves food and loves getting messy with her food. She doesn't have particularly sensitive skin. I'm currently using All Free & Clear detergent with a splash of vinegar (both directly into the main tub) and I stain treat her clothes when necessary with the Messy Mouth's Messy Eater. If the stains are stubborn or I don't have any of the stain treater, I use a little bit of regular blue dawn and rub it in, let it sit, and then wash that with no other detergent or anything. I don't separate colors, I machine dry (low temp) almost everything, except nice pants/jeans and my husband's dress shirts.

I'm thinking of switching to a powder/bead detergent in hopes of saving some space. Is this worth it for the products not being available in most grocery stores? Are scent beads a good idea/necessary?

What should I do to "reset" the machines when I move in and clear out whatever residue may be left from the previous owners? What should I do to "reset" my clothes and towels/linens? What should my new routine be? Stupid question, should I be using the detergent area instead of dumping it straight in?

Thank you for reading and thank you for your help, o laundry gods. 🙏

My favorite and most practiced form of magic is spell bottles. I fill them with herbs and crushed or tiny crystals, a sigil written on a bay leaf, and seal them with wax. I've found them to be very powerful both for myself infusing them with the magic, and also for the recipients.

My mother has been having a really hard time lately, with both her physical and her mental health. She knows about my spell bottles and is interested in them, so I was thinking it may be good to make her one to try and help her out of this funk. I've made a specific health-related bottle before for a friend that I believe had a strong positive impact.

The hard part is that my mother and I have a tumultuous relationship. It started in high school, and for a number of reasons, we are not close and despite living in the same town, we only see each other around once a month. Seeing her is extremely draining and frustrating for me, so my relationship with her in general is clouded by a lot of negativity.

She's still my mom and I still love her. I'd like to be able to do this spell bottle to help her, but I'm terrified that my bias (conscious or unconscious) will accidentally infuse it with something negative and/or harmful. Any suggestions on how I can avoid this?