u/daifuku17

I started seeing a new therapist, and while I've learned new things about myself, I find myself feeling upset with her after each session. A few weeks ago, she questioned whether my avoidance of MCAS triggers was due to avoidance stemming from OCD...I was so upset. I explained that I need to avoid my triggers so that I don't go into anaphylaxis lol. I just didn't understand that comment - you wouldn't ask a person with a peanut allergy if their avoidance of peanuts was due to OCD.

She seems to not understand what it's like to have a chronic illness, and I find myself having to explain myself to her multiple times. I haven't found the most recent therapy sessions to be particularly illuminating.

Maybe it's just time to find a new therapist...has anyone had a similar experience?

I recently agreed to live with a friend of my current roommate’s, starting at the end of August. (I met her a month ago; she seemed nice and met my criteria - no smoking, no perfume, no candles, understood that we would use separate sponges and plates due to my allergies.) However, I didn’t ask about houseplants since I haven’t met potential roommates who bring in plants.

Fast forward to this week: she texts my current roommate that she is dropping things off, including a plant stand. She texts me that she is dropping some plants off and asks me if I can look after them for the summer until she’s back August 30. I don’t think much of it since I assume “some” means 2-3. The next day, she drops her things off at the apartment while my roommate is at home, and I come home to 10 large plants scattered across our living room. I sense that my MCAS is flaring up - my throat tightens and my sinuses act up.

I have a chat with my current roommate - she was also surprised by the quantity of plants and the new roommate’s move in date (was formerly Aug 1 but now Aug 30). My roommate feels bad and starts contacting friends to plant sit for the summer so that I don’t have to deal with being symptomatic. She is a saint.

I then talk to the new roommate about all the plants. I tell her that I thought “some” would be 2-3, not 10, and she laughs, maybe not knowing what to say. I tell her that I’m not only concerned about allergies but also a mold issue from soil. She tells me she will sell all but 2-3 plants that she will keep in her room. These plants hold sentimental value. I understand that and feel like it would be a lot to ask her to get rid of those too.

I just think that this is a boundaries/compatibility issue. I wouldn’t impose the expectation that a new roommate water all my plants for 2 months; I’m concerned that this will lead to more unwanted expectations in the future.

How would you read this situation? Should I just cut my losses and look for someone else? I haven't signed the lease with her yet.