Shot on Xperia 1 V
And so there I was, armed with an Xperia containing more acronyms than a government intelligence agency: BRAVIA, TRILUMINOS, X-Reality, X1 Mobile Engine, Creator Mode, CineAlta, Alpha technology, ZEISS T* coating, BIONZ X, Eye AF, Real-time Tracking, SteadyShot, DSEE Ultimate, LDAC, Hi-Res Audio, Hi-Res Audio Wireless, 360 Reality Audio, Dolby Atmos, ClearAudio+, Clear Bass, Clear Phase, Crystal Clear+, Dynamic Vibration System, Adaptive Sound Control, Battery Care, Stamina Mode, Game Enhancer, Music Pro and several others apparently discovered in a secret laboratory beneath Mount Fuji; and after activating all of them simultaneously, the phone became so technologically advanced, so bewilderingly sophisticated, and so catastrophically enthusiastic about enhancing absolutely everything, that a simple WhatsApp notification arrived sounding like the opening scene of an action movie, vibrating like a minor earthquake, displaying colours previously visible only to deep-sea squid, and photographing my lunch with such cinematic intensity that it looked less like fried rice and more like a £200 million summer blockbuster directed by three Oscar winners and a committee of marketing executives.