u/ddg-ishere

Id like some criticism. On an piece of an world im making

I also have an dc server i use to compile everything if someone is interested to join

There were two clans in conflict: one wanted power, the other wanted peace. But one had five horrible mechanical soldiers of pure power, wielding weapons as strong as the red moon itself: the Redsorogan blades. They used these to fearmonger and wreak havoc, gaining land for industrialization.

These... Mōkurokō, or "steel hunters" as the locals called them, were unstoppable, used for assassinations and unleashed onto villages to drive out all inhabitants.

The Clan of the Azure Dragon had had enough and devised a plan to destroy the Mōkurokō. They planned to ambush in great numbers, as intel marked \[DH confidential, intel only to be opened by the leader of the Clan of the Azure Dragon\] revealed that the Kurogane-kai were preparing a show for a high-end material buyer to close a deal. The show was to be held on outside land, but heavily guarded.

They planned and planned for days on end. When the time came, they gathered a thousand men, trained for ten years in the art of war, and one legendary warrior, a Shogun and sensei to most of the men fighting: Sorata Renji, known among the legends as Ao no Ranbu, the Dance of Blue. He was known for blade skills so pure and beautiful they looked just like a dance.

Before the fight, he was given a blade shining with a red glow, a Redsorogan blade, able to be crafted only by the Kurogane-kai. It was given to him by the same clan that had supplied the intel. Carved into the mysterious package stood a D and an H.

The next evening, all was silent beyond the hills as the plan went into action. The sun was barely visible beyond the horizon.

The 1,001 men crept through the mountain tops, avoiding scouts, slowly entering the ridge of the courtyard at the show grounds. Right before the sun set and the moon rose, a giant, deep, roaring horn sounded, and a volley of hundreds of arrows rained upon the yard as the raid began. The goal? Kill the demons: the Mōkurokō.

The surprise attack worked. The Kurogane-kai hadn't expected them to attack, believing them far too scared to come even close. They underestimated their valor and bravery.

A full-scale bloodbath occurred as forces dwindled on both sides, losses in the hundreds, but only on the side of the attackers. No one laid even a scratch on the five powerhouses of the Kurogane-kai. The five unstoppable forces shattered the front lines like fire raging through an already dead, dry field.

But as the forces dwindled, one man stood on top, defending with the only blade that could match the sharpness and strength of the blades they used: Sorata Renji, with the Redsorogan blade.

Then, as the sun fully set and only the lone warrior remained, a miracle happened.

A moon shone with a pure ocean blue glow, as pure as the Azure Dragon himself. The red glow dimmed from the blades of the Mōkurokō. Two of them, at this point, were out of steam. But three remained unphased by the occurrence. though their power dimmed, the blade of Renji bloomed with a subtle blue glow the longer he fought with his iconic Azure Dance.

He fought faster, striking vital structural imperfections on the Mōkurokō. After a grueling fight, two of the demons fell. But the last one fought differently... it copied the moves of Renji. And there, at their final stance, both at their last breath, both as if of one linked mind, they bowed in honor, and both gave their final push...

But the fight was already decided. The last Mōkurokō swiftly finished it.

The yard that had been full of blood, death, and screams was now silent, but for a restless puff of steam and a mourning hum from a demon that was neither dead nor alive.

As the Ashwalkers \[spies trained to bring back intel once a battle is lost\] described it: the Mōkurokō stood over the body of Renji and bowed, showing great respect for the fallen legend. something a Mōkurokō would never do...

The end?

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