u/deadzombieee

Im currently manifesting an sp so this post is also partly to convince myself that I can indeed manifest my sp, because I did it once with an old crush back in high school almost a decade ago.

And no, I didn't believe that my desire will happen but I did have the need for it. My self concept wasn't great, I wasn't living in the end state, I just simply let go of the need for it.

Basically when I was 16, I had a crush on this guy that was a year younger than me, we were online friends that somehow studied in the same school and everything was great when we talked (online) but he ignored me in real life lol. I was OBSESSED over wanting him to talk to me, for an entire year nothing changed. My guy best friend was in the same club/society as him and asked my former crush if he knew who I was, yes he mentioned my name to him, and my crush back then said he "doesn't even know I existed". I was crushed. But somehow after that I decided to just 'move on' , I did whatever he did to me, I ignored him in school (which was probably just me ignoring the 3D in a way and I didn't even realise it, I didn't even realise I was manifesting him) which is weird because right after that he suddenly noticed me, he even texted me and asked why do I act like I don't know who he is, which is weird because he was the one that said he didn't know I existed. My friend even told me that before I saw "movement" my former crush asked him to show him where I was because he wanted to look for me, and I was on sick leave from school that day which is crazy cause I thought he wouldn't care. Basically yeah, everything went great but since I didn't manifest a relationship we didn't get together and we drifted apart after I graduated. But here I am to say that this is very real as long as some part of you desires it, you don't exactly have to believe it and I guess, let go of the resistance.

For context, me and SP were in a situationship for months and he ended things in early February due to conflict, I shall not talk about the old story much but yeah, and thus I have been manifesting him for commitment ever since. We only went no contact a month ago and I've been in the state for about a few weeks now, as I feel rather calm regarding sp and everything, knowing that he's mine YET I can't help but check the 3D, etc his status to see if he's online, not to expect any text but to simply just see what he's doing, what games he's playing which is unnecessary at all, but it has become a habit and yes, sometimes I do still doubt things even though I feel calm about it and it makes me feel shitty, because I just wanna be calm about things and just let the 3D unfold but it's hard to control the urge sometimes. Is there any way that can help me with this? I've been trying to start robotic affirming, but by actually saying my affirmations out, repeating it in my head makes my negative thoughts appear at times and I don't really like it even though I don't entertain those thoughts