u/deep_keen

I found that I am watching anime and watching anime. When I saw a character lost the meaning of living it start to cry, question. But the only person who knows what the meaning of living is the character itself and the people the character close with. When the people reach there pov about how people see the character, what the character meant for them. That's when the character saw what it's meaning is. The character cried, a lot, look around and then the character got the answer. From so long, it don't get any answer. But now it got finally. So, I am watching anime. But I want to do the same. I want to know my meaning of living too. I often wonder, why I am waking up even ? Why I am breathing even ? Why I am looking even ? What I am looking for ? What I am taking rest for ? What I am even breathing for ? Just to be alive ? Then why I am questioning it? Why I am searching the meaning of living ? I don't know. I found I never look at my own. I never question to myself. I watch anime. I question anime. But what about me ? What about my life ? What about my answers about my life ? I keep asking questions to people. But what about myself ? No one going to question my life. And if they do then what about the answer ? Do I have the answer ? No. I don't have the answer. And that's what I want to find. Help me to find it.

I wanted to do a conversation about philosophical stuffs, psychological or about love, relationships, etc. For example, what is love? How relationship actually look like?

I don't know about these stuffs.

I done conversation with some females online. But, its got break.

I don't know now what's I am doing wrong. Is online conversations or expecting relationship or connections is not right ? Because I started to feel that way. But again I remember about my past experiences and some are good experiences like I enjoyed spending, talking and sharing. Playing games. Etc. So, I wanted to do these type of conversation but I think I didn't got any yet. I wanted to do. And hoping from this post that I will get something. Person. Knowledge. Whichever helps me.