r/communicationskills

22M here. I've realized that I can talk to anyone normally, but when it comes to talking to a girl I find attractive, my mind just goes blank. I start overthinking what to say, worry about sounding awkward, and usually end up not saying anything at all.

I don't have trouble texting, but starting a conversation in person feels impossible. I know the only way to improve is by practicing, but that first step is really hard.

Has anyone here dealt with this and managed to overcome it? What actually helped you become more comfortable talking to women in real life? Any practical advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

I’ve always been a quiet kid and everyone joked about me that i was mute, until i was 15 yo and everything changed bc i went to a knew school and met new people. before i had actually no friends.
well that time i began to feel better and be happier and be more excited for everything, but then at the end of 17 everything just began to go worse and worse. well first of all i finished school so i was on a gap year for this year one year (im 18 now) and well i was not studying, i was working 4h a day but in my dad’s office (so a room in my home) and i still work there.
in this gap year i made much more friends, and i still have my 4 friends group from school, and we are still 4 friends, but 3 of us are now in a much bigger group of like 10 people.

lately i’ve been struggling so much with talking to them and maybe feeling comfortable with them, i dont know why, not to all of them the same way, but i just get so drained if i have to interact with them, and they go out every little days and i do too, i get fomo and i wanna go out with them but i dont actually wanna be there, i just want it over and done, so i Was there but i font wanna Be there.
but its so uncomfortable sometimes bc i feel like i only can comment words to what they say to me, for example literally they show me anything and i’ll go “woow” or “broooo” or “oh no” or “haha” but i cant get myself to say anything else, and sometimes i even try saying something and i hust say 2 worss and stop talking later before finishing my phrase bc yea i just dont know why but physically find it so difficult to talk and interact with people.
i didnt felt this way when i got to know them, i was shy rhen, vut then became more talkative, and now everyone jnowsnme as the guy thats silent, and i thoufht i actually overcame that phase of my whole life some years ago, but its coming and coming back and i hate it.

i just feel like words dont appear in my mind, im stuck and nothing thinks, and when i think its either i think too much and the time is gone so i can’t add the thing i was thinking about to the conversation bc its too late, or i just get too nervous and my head gets blank so i just stare at one point and answer i dont know, bc i actually do not know, but it coyld be anything, even my fav color, i just dont know.
and not only talking but laughing and etc also got much more difficult

does someone experience this about not being able to talk or finding it too difficult to intersct with people?

Confidence

Almost every friend in a relationship and I am not .people say be yourself but I think I'm confidence about myself still get rejected and never had a relationship what am I missing ?

I struggle with is keeping up with conversations. Sometimes people talk about finance, politics, psychology, sports, movies, current events, history, or random topics, and I feel like I don't know enough to contribute. It makes me worry that people will think I'm dumb or mock me.

I don't want to know everything, but I want to become someone who can comfortably join conversations on a wide range of topics, think critically, and speak like a mature adult.

It’s been 5 months since my ex moved out, following a 9 month separation. My divorce came through recently.
I have been testing the waters on dating sites and am finding the men I contact so incapable of having a proper two way conversation. It’s been really hard finding any men who are even remotely interesting or attractive at the higher end of 50s. And then when I email them I get blunted responses about whatever they want to say. I try and tell them about my life and my interests and values and they just ignore all that and tell me stuff they like or they are interested in. It feels like all they want is an audience for their life and their interests and I’m just there to make them feel seen and heard. One man just kept sharing his poetry with me which I admired but then I tried to talk about other things I was up to and he just ignored that and the questions I asked. So I didn’t reply. Felt like a bystander in his show. Ten days later he sends a message saying he wants to conclude things unless I’ve had an emergency to explain why I’ve not replied. Ffs. Then another guy, a busy doctor kept emailing short messages about what he’s reading and doing, not responding to my queues or questions. Met him and he was nice - he asked me out. He texted a few times but when I suggested meeting again he went quiet. I think he’s married. Another guy, very bright and another poet just bombarded me with stories of travel and friends and his love of nature etc but again never responded to what I said or asked. He was very polite and interested so I made a joke and he responded to all my questions but then the next 3 emails I sent got back completely unrelated replies including topics he was interested in like walking in woods, what podcast he was listening to. He did invite me to join him and his mate for a walk but he lives an hour and quarter drive away and I said I work and have ME so I need rest at weekends and a coffee somewhere local would suit me better. He doesn’t work and has a car and never offered to come over to meet me. Just said he was very disappointed I wasn’t available for the walk as he really wanted to meet me and make his summer shine. I then said look this isn’t really a two way conversation as we seem to be at cross purposes. He didn’t get it. I said thanks but no thanks - don’t like feeling like I spoke but nobody heard me!!
Has anyone else experienced this and felt men these days just have no communication skills or any emotional IQ or they think if they give speeches and dominate the discussion they will impress you. It’s really disrespectful and boring. What is wrong with them?!!

I like this person, however I don’t know how to start a conversation nor have I even started one with this person. I’ve tried moving seats to talk to them but couldn’t like muster up the courage to say a word and just kept staring at them like a weirdo and tbh it’s like already July and I don’t know how to start a conversation with them since after that weird incident of me staring at them, they moved seats so now I’m just at a loss on what to do and this is also my first time liking someone.

( I even specifically bought cologne and new clothes to seem more interesting? I thought it would make them start a conversation with me first. )

Is there some advice like small stuff that I can do routinely to get over this

We talk a lot and sometimes run out of things to say and he ends up saying sooo and I just don’t want him to get bored of me so I need things that aren’t how was your day or whatcha up to that will actually get him talking but are natural convos

I'm 20M and spent more than 2 years in my college but I have almost no female friends and even just 1-2 male friends. I'm an introvert, the only friends I made in my college were my bench partners. I almost haven't even talked to any females of my college. I don't know why whenever I think of trying to connect then I feel very nervous that they will judge me or my ego suddenly comes into the middle like "why should I talk to them" .I joined various clubs in my college but even then remained quiet all the time .My whole personality in the view of others has become like in college everyone thinks "He is just a rude guy who doesn't talk with anyone" , in my locality the personality has become like "He is a quiet guy and will never say no to anything we say" .Guys with experience can help or even if a female is there can share some tips like how to start a conversation.

14 yr

idk why but many time i text people it seems that they are just ignoring me. like i send something like asking about a repost they made or something like that, and it just goes like:

me:"something related to _____"

them:" respond"

me " respond, normally with a sentence or an observation, not a question most of the time"

them:" ghost"

i cant wrap my head about it, is it me or them, do they just dont care about me, or just bad timing or is that im just bad at texting? normaly this happens when i text people that im not close friends, so that probably it, we dont really know each other but i want to get close to them, but them this happens.

Being understanding is a beautiful quality untilit becomes the reason people stop considering your needs.

They say :

No problem, I'll manage

It's Okay ,I understand

Don't worry ,I can adjust

They looks mature on the outside, but inside they feel tired, unseen and taken for granted .

Not because they lack strength because their kindness has no boundary .

Dr.Sreeveni V

I'm 21, spent most of my life focused on sports and college. Now I want to change that and start approaching women in person (cold approach – street, coffee shops, library).

I've read a lot of advice online and it's honestly confusing. Some people say pickup lines are fine as ice breakers. Others say they're cringe and you should never use them. Some say ask situational questions. Some say just introduce yourself.

My main concerns:

What do you actually talk about after the opener to avoid that awkward silence? I don't want it to be just "Hi, I'm X, can I have your number?" – that feels robotic.

If I use a simple ice breaker pick up line, is that okay? Or do you prefer a guy just says "Hi, I'm X" and goes from there?

What kind of questions actually make you want to keep talking after introducing yourself? It feels weird to ask a girl about her hobbies or what she is doing rigth after introducing yourself. So any help would mean a lot

Thank you

I (24M) have been seeing a girl (23F) for about six weeks. We met on Hinge, and we both admitted we don’t really do that kind of thing very often, but we pushed through and ended up hitting it off. Several dates in, we’ve been intimate, she’s stayed over, met my pet, and things felt genuinely warm. She’s a very nice, sweet, respectful girl, which is part of why this has thrown me.

She relocated to my area a couple months ago and lives with family. She’s mentioned a past relationship where she was love bombed, so I’ve intentionally kept things low pressure. Early on she was very warm and consistent. She initiated affection verbally, used pet names, and talked about wanting to see me more. She’s never been the one to initiate plans, but always responded enthusiastically when I did.

I’ve really connected with this girl. We have similar plans for the future in terms of where we eventually want to move, and we both want to get more into hiking, so our personalities and lifestyles seem like they’d fit well together. That’s part of why this situation has been so confusing.

Over the past two weeks her communication dropped off significantly. She does physically demanding cleaning work, and a family member who normally shares the load had to travel out of state for a family loss, so her workload roughly doubled. On top of that, the heat where we live has been brutal lately, which makes the physical work even more draining, and she’s been dealing with a recurring health issue. She’s been coming home completely wiped out. Then she went almost completely silent. It’s now been six days with no response to my last two texts, which were a simple “I miss you, are you free this weekend?” and a check-in asking if she was okay. She’s been minimally active online during this time but hasn’t reached out. I haven’t sent anything further. My plan is to send one final low pressure message at the one week mark and then leave the ball in her court. Is that the right move, or am I misreading this? Looking for honest outside perspective.

So I try and be social and up my social skills by taking to people and learning subtle cues. But I'm noticing this phenomenon where done people I hang out with will talk and talk and talk and not give me a turn.

I wait for a pause in conversation, but it's difficult with these people because they just don't. Stop. Talking. Like I get a breath to say what I want which is 0.02 seconds before they're right back at it. And then I'll forget it is I was going to say. Which leaves me frustrated.

At some point I either walk away feeling left out or i.just quit participating all together.

Is it my fault that some people won't let me get a word in edgewise? Should I be more assertive? Help?

Most of my friends have a lot of friends on snapchat, even people that they don’t know irl and i’ve been trying to make some but the conversation always tends to die out and then we stop talking all together. Does anyone who has a lot of online/snap friends or “hoes” know how to keep a conversation flowing and alive without it seeming forced?

I’m 22 and trying to decide between doing a master’s at Manchester or going straight into full-time work.

I’m not looking for reassurance or generic “follow your passion” advice. I’m trying to work out whether the MSc would genuinely accelerate my career, or whether it would mainly be an expensive way of delaying the uncertainty of entering the job market.

Background
* 22, UK-based
* First-class degree in International Business, Finance and Economics from Liverpool John Moores University
* Finished with around 75% overall
* Studied abroad for a year at Hosei University in Tokyo
* Accepted onto MSc Operations, Project and Supply Chain Management at the University of Manchester
* Tuition is around £16.5k
* I can live at home, so living costs would be relatively low
* Around £75k saved/invested, built through working, living frugally and investing heavily
* I can defer the MSc offer if needed

The financial side matters. If I work instead of doing the MSc, I could likely keep costs low, max out my Stocks & Shares ISA, and continue compounding earlier. So the MSc is not just a £16.5k tuition decision. It also means delaying full-time income, practical experience and another year of aggressive investing.

I also got a job offer from Tesla a couple of months ago, but turned it down because I already had travel planned. That gave me some confidence that my profile can attract interest from strong companies, but I’m still trying to work out the most rational next step rather than just taking the first decent role.

Career direction

The direction I keep coming back to is import/export, international trade, supply chains, sales, business development and global markets.

The three routes I’m most seriously considering are:

1. Supply chain, procurement or logistics graduate schemes
2. Import/export, freight forwarding, trade or international sales roles
3. Commercial/business development roles in global or Asia-facing companies

Long term, I’d like to build, buy into or take over a business, but I want proper commercial experience and judgement first.

International exposure also matters to me. I’ve travelled to 52 countries, studied in Tokyo, and have always found it hard to stay still. I have ADHD and dyslexia, and I tend to hyperfocus heavily on areas I’m interested in — especially finance, trade, China/Asia, business and entrepreneurship. I think that is part of why travel, movement and international business appeal to me so much.

I don’t mean that as “I don’t want to work”. It is more that I’m trying to build a career that uses how I naturally think and operate, rather than forcing myself into a narrow path that I’ll quickly feel trapped by.

I’ve always liked the idea of working in Singapore or Hong Kong for a period. I also have family in the USA, and may want to live in Australia one day with my girlfriend. So international mobility is something I’m trying to keep open, but I don’t want to be unrealistic or financially irresponsible about it.

Relevant experience

My experience is not a perfect straight line into supply chain or trade, but the common thread is commercial growth, sales, marketing and international exposure.

The most relevant examples:

* In a real estate marketing/sales role, I was directly responsible for generating £185k in sales within 48 hours.
* Helped grow a small F&B/start-up style business into a recognised local brand, with 350k+ monthly organic impressions, 500+ five-star reviews and press coverage including The Guardian and Stoke-on-Trent Live.
* Completed an international marketing/sales internship with Churchill China, a UK tableware business exporting to 70+ countries, giving me exposure to export markets, hospitality clients and international sales.
* Completed international internships in Canada and Portugal, including sports marketing/media work and an AI/big data programme.

I seem to perform best around business development, growth, sales, international markets and building things. I’m more commercially minded than purely academic, even though I’ve done well at university.

Why I’m considering the MSc

The Manchester MSc appeals because it could give me:

* A more specialised profile than my undergraduate degree
* A clearer route into supply chain, procurement, logistics or operations
* A stronger university brand for larger employers
* Potentially better international credibility
* Time to apply for graduate schemes with a more targeted profile
* More relevant knowledge for import/export or trade-related business later

But I’m cautious because it could also become an expensive comfort blanket. The UK graduate job market feels difficult, and I don’t want to choose a master’s just because entering work feels uncertain.

With AI changing a lot of white-collar work, I also want to build practical, commercially useful skills rather than just collect another qualification.

The decision

Option 1: Do the Manchester MSc

Upside:

* Stronger academic profile
* More targeted route into supply chain/procurement/logistics
* Manchester name may help with bigger employers and international options
* Could support a future import/export or trade career
* Gives me another year to apply for graduate schemes properly

Downside:

* Costs around £16.5k
* Delays full-time work by a year
* Delays income, experience and ISA investing
* May not matter as much as practical experience
* Could be the safe choice rather than the best choice

Option 2: Defer the MSc and go straight into work

Upside:

* Start gaining real experience now
* Protect my savings
* Keep investing and potentially max out my ISA
* Build commercial skills faster
* Learn directly from the market
* Move towards entrepreneurship sooner

Downside:

* UK graduate job market feels weak
* I could end up in a generic role with limited progression
* I may miss the chance to reposition myself into supply chain/trade
* A conventional job with no international exposure may make me feel boxed in quickly

What I need advice on

For people who work in supply chain, procurement, logistics, international trade, graduate recruitment, finance, Asia-facing business or entrepreneurship:

1. Would the Manchester MSc materially improve my options in supply chain, procurement, logistics or international trade?
2. In my position, would you do the MSc, defer it, or go straight into work?
3. What first roles would best position me for import/export, Asia-Europe trade or international business?
4. Would practical experience be more valuable than the MSc if I eventually want to build or take over a business?
5. Over the next 12–24 months, what would you do if you were me?

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me!

This is my first post so I’m sorry if it’s a little bit long!

I don’t know if anyone else has this problem, but I really struggle to keep conversations going.
The weird part is that the beginning is usually great. We can have the same interests, click instantly, and talk for days or even a week. But eventually I reach a point where I genuinely don’t know what to say anymore.
Then the conversation slowly turns into:
“How was your day?”
“Good, yours?”
“Good.”
…and that’s basically the end.
It’s happened with multiple people, so I don’t think it’s just about compatibility. I feel like I simply don’t know how to naturally keep a conversation alive once we’ve already talked about the obvious things.
How do people manage to talk to someone for months or even years without running out of things to say?
Is this a communication skill I need to develop, or am I just talking to the wrong people?
I’d really appreciate any advice from people who used to struggle with this but managed to get better.