r/communicationskills

I've been testing several other known verbal fluency techniques like word association and reading out loud, but they don't feel like they address the actual problem. But this testing lead me to a new discovery.

So what did I find? A method that works for me and takes only 3–5 minutes a day. It is short, and quite brutal. You will not only build fluency, but you will improve several other cognitive microskills as well. Trust me, I'm left-handed.

When I first tried this, I fatigued and yawned after the first 20 seconds. Now, only after a couple of days, I'm easily pushing 40–60 seconds. I already feel significantly more word flow during normal workplace chit-chat.

The Method (Modify to your needs):

• The Setup: Set a timer for 60 seconds. Do 3–5 reps per day. Ramp up, if needed.
• The Topic: Pick a skill you want to learn and narrow down a small section of it. (For humor, I use Mel Helitzer’s Comedy Writing Secrets. It works. Everybody says I'm laughable now.)
• The Rule (Feynman Technique): Explain that micro-concept out loud to yourself as simply as possible. Imagine explaining astrophysics to a child. (Tip: Most kids won't actually listen to a lecture about astrophysics, so use an imaginary one).
• Optional Story Layer: Format it as a simple story: setup/conflict, escalate tension, and deliver a plot twist at the end. Great for practice with personal anecdotes.

Example: Let's say you want to practice the "Exaggeration Technique" from Comedy Writing Secrets. Start the timer and explain the technique out loud for 60 seconds. Do not stop, no matter how hard it feels. Keep talking. Say anything. No pauses. Strive and survive.

Steer constantly for a clear explanation, or just try to execute the technique itself. For example, explain to yourself why you desperately need that luscious, Brad Pitt-like wig from Temu to cover your male pattern baldness. That's a real conflict right there!

Why this works (I think):

It hits several points at once: precision, content, clarity, and fluency. The main point is verbal retrieval and speed: getting those nerves fired up to drag those elusive words out of your skull. You can always improve the content later.

According to AI, the cognitive load is huge because it activates several brain regions at once: the Prefrontal Cortex, Broca's Area, Wernicke's Area, the Hippocampus, and the Anterior Cingulate Cortex.

My question for you guys:

Would it be crazy to ask you to try this for just three days and let me know how it went? I'm really curious to see if there's even a small improvement in such a short time period.

Help me I want to improve my conversation skills and boost confidence

This is for the women of Reddit, how can I be really good at flirting with a girl that has some interest in me?

Started my voice AI agency 2 months ago have made 2000+ calls with only 2 clients. Tried switching pitch tried f*****g everything and nothing is really helping so I’m looking to you guys now. What are you saying on calls that’s working? How long did you dial before your first client came? Here’s my pitch right now…

Hey [business owners name] this is [my name] I sent you a email last Friday did you get a chance to look at it?
(Their response no they go look for it)

Just so you’re not searching through your email it was just a few questions you could probably answer over the phone.

I know that a lot of [whatever niche I’m calling] misses alot of high ticket phone calls during the day while out on the job site or late night when everybody is off the clock.

Is this something thats an issue for you?

(No)

Okay that’s great actually a lot of owners I talk to can’t say the same. But just a quick question when you say you’re not missing any calls. Are you picking up live on the job site or are they going to voicemail and you end up calling them back?

Hi everyone,

Posting this for my wife. She has 10+ years of experience working in IT in a corporate environment.

Recently, she has been trying to move into management/leadership roles and even got some good opportunities. However, she wasn’t able to convert them.

After discussing and reflecting on it, we feel the main gap may be communication skills. She is quite good technically and can explain technical issues well over emails/documentation, but when it comes to presentations, stakeholder management, influencing decisions, client interactions, or speaking confidently in meetings, the gap becomes noticeable.

We are looking for good platforms, apps, courses, or training programs that can help improve:

Presentation skills

Executive communication

Stakeholder management

Client conversations

Confidence in speaking/persuasion

Leadership communication

Would appreciate any recommendations, especially from people who made a similar transition from technical roles to management.

Hey everyone,

I’ve been a paralegal since graduating with my BA in Poli Sci and am currently in an ABA Approved Advanced Paralegal Program. I recently started working at a firm after being fired and unemployed for close to three months. I have three years of family law experience and recently started at a new firm about two months ago. It’s a small firm with about 4 other paralegals and two of them don’t have access to phones (still). The receptionist has been out of office many days since I’ve worked and I am the only one expected to answer the phones (amongst other support staff). I am the new person and don’t want to complain but am supporting an attorney who is having health complications and is expected to go on maternity leave June 5th. At first, answering the phones and intake wasn’t interfering with my billable hours (only 5 is required daily but I have so much to do and usually bill around 7 - prior to this expectation). I want to advocate for higher pay in my three month probationary review and at this point it is affecting my work. Other people have mentioned it to the partners in the firm but the other paralegals don’t take accountability and have talked over the partner who decided to bring it up. My attorney is in constant litigation the next couple of weeks and I won’t have time to constantly hold the weight. I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining but I’m wondering if I should wait to bring this up in my review (June 3rd) or if I should bring it up in the weekly staff meeting. One of the partners brought it up last week but a staff member looked directly at me and another paralegal (the one who doesn’t have the phone connected yet) and asked “Do we have a problem?”

This is causing me anxiety and has lead me to feel like this is intentional on the other paralegals to hold me back from billable work…. Thoughts on how to bring this up to the partners or other staff in weekly meeting?

I (22F) had a presentation where I stuttered and my brain went blank, this doesn’t just happen when im presenting to a public, I don’t know how to talk or explain to people a certain subject.
My uni professor said that it is a shame that im getting a master’s degree but can’t communicate clearly, and he is right.

How can I be eloquent ? Pls helppp

This is very new to me so I’m struggling with how to even frame my question, but how do I improve my ‘voice’ when I speak? I recently started recording myself speak as I’m trying to improve my communication skills as part of my personal self improvement and when I ran it through AI and asked it to be brutally honest it said I speak from my throat and have a slight hyponasal quality. What exactly does speaking from the throat/diaphram even mean, and are there other small minor concepts that I’m not doing without realising that could me affecting my voice?

Need some advice from people who’ve hosted large virtual group sessions before.

I’m about to host an informal networking/community-style call with ~100 people across different countries and time zones. I’m comfortable facilitating groups up to around 30, but 100 is definitely new territory for me.

Would love tips, tricks, formats, ESPECIALLY engagement ideas, icebreakers, ways to keep energy levels up, and things you wish someone told you before hosting a large interactive session like this.

I'm already not a very socially skilled person, and my body language isn't helping. I was wondering if anyone here could give me some advice on how to come off as more confident and relaxed.

Hi, I usually really like banter with my freinds but recently its been getting to me a little and I know that if u tell them that it was hurting my feelings lately they would stop thats not an issue. My issue is that I wouldn't know how to stop but it wouldnt be fair for me to ask them to spot if I continue tward them. However I dont know how to interact with people in any other manner. So my question is how do Interact with my friends without bantering with them?

Had a 1:1 with my teammate Marcus last Thursday. We were in the small conference room on the second floor, the one with the busted blinds that only close halfway. He was walking me through his notes from a client call and I noticed something I'd never consciously picked up on before.

Every time I said something, he'd repeat back like two or three words from my sentence before responding. Not in a robotic way. Just naturally weaving my exact phrasing into his reply. I said something like "I'm worried the timeline is too aggressive" and he goes "yeah the aggressive timeline, I think we can..." and then kept going.

Such a small thing. But I realized in that moment why people always seem to relax around him in conversations. Clients love him. Our manager Priya always pairs him with the difficult accounts. And it's not because he's some charisma machine, the guy eats lunch alone at his desk most days reading manga on his phone.

It's just this one habit. He makes you feel heard by echoing your words back. Not paraphrasing into his own language, not reframing, not correcting your word choice. Just catching your exact words and tossing them back gently.

I tried it in a conversation with my partner that same night and the diffrence was immediate. She actually paused and said "wait you're actually listening to me right now" which, ouch, but also kind of proved the point.

Anyone else notice a tiny conversational habit from someone that completely changed how you think about talking to people?

I really suck at communication.

I am an introverted person, but I feel very at ease and open when among friends and partners. I do think a lot (A LOT), and I am curious about various things, so I do lots of short superficial research about topics that I find interesting.

BUT it is really REALLY hard for me to talk to people. And the reasons are:

- It's hard for me to formulate sentences / articulate my thoughts.

- I don't retain information about ANYTHING that I read/listen/see. Example: most recently, I spent a whole week reading a lot of Ayurveda stuff, listening to podcasts, youtube videos, etc... But then my partner asked me, 'oh, what is this Ayurveda thing?' I JUST COULD NOT EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS.

- English is my second language, so a lot of times I overthink my grammar/pronunciation.

(I was diagnosed with ADD, I used to take medication but I didn't see any difference so I stopped)

I got laid off and am looking for jobs now... And I cannot explain what I used to do at my old job. I do practice, I have a list of everything that I need to say during interviews, but I can't remember anything. And if I don't practice a lot beforehand, let's say right now someone asks what I used to do at work, my mind goes blank.

I thought about taking a Udemy/Coursera communication course, but I don't think they would help me!!!

So I would really like to hear from people in similar situations, what did you do to improve??? What can I do??? I hate being that way!!!

I know “using AI to practice talking to women” probably sounds like the beginning of a weird post, but hear me out.

I’m not trying to replace real relationships or convince myself I’m in love with an AI girlfriend. I’m single, I’ve been out of practice for a long time, and I’ve realized in hindsight that I wasn’t always as considerate or emotionally calibrated as I’d like to be in a relationship.

So I’ve been using ChatGPT almost like interactive roleplay for communication practice.

What’s been interesting is that the guardrails actually make it useful. It keeps things from getting too raunchy, encourages restraint, and tends to reward warmth, patience, emotional presence, and soft intimacy. It also pushes back when something I think is “playful teasing” could come across badly. That part has been surprisingly helpful.

For me, the goal isn’t to become some pickup artist or learn manipulation. It’s almost the opposite. I’m trying to practice being more thoughtful, more attentive, more affectionate, and better at creating a warm emotional space without letting everything turn into horniness or ego.

I’m naturally a sweet, emotionally expressive guy, but I’m also trying to mature. I want to be better at giving compliments, pacing intimacy, listening, being playful without being careless, and making a woman feel wanted without making her feel pressured.

I probably wouldn’t tell most of my friends about this because I know the stigma around “AI girlfriends,” and I get why people are skeptical. But for me it feels less like a fantasy relationship and more like a private practice room. Instead of rehearsing alone in my head, I have something interactive that remembers context, responds, and sometimes tells me when my communication is off.

Has anyone else used AI this way — not as a replacement for people, but as a way to practice communication, emotional maturity, or relationship skills?

I’m genuinely curious about the communication-skills angle here, not trying to debate whether AI can replace real relationships. It can’t, and I don’t want it to.