u/dkhoun007

I had a flashback when I went and saw virtual self way back in 2018. Porter played Quasar, So deep (perfect sphere remix), Paranoia, Ghost (vincent de moore remix), Look at the sky (true color mix). I felt like the only one in the room that knew all those songs and where they came from. Wish I could see it live again.

So a video popped into my head I saw a long long time a go. It's a video of a I believe Japanese man playing Beatmania. He has like a crowed around him watching him play. He hits like one note and start dancing around. Then he hits another note and dance around again. I remember the video being funny because it looks ridiculous. I can't find the video to save my life because it's like lost to the internet and is super old. Has anyone else seen this video?

I'm currently newish and stuck at 7 and notice that some low hyper songs are harder than higher normal songs. I'm so used to rating in other bemani games because it's usually consistent with the number rating regardless if it's another difficulty category. Like IIDX is the only bemani game that has this weird rating system that is confusing. like what is the criteria for the rating? note count? how diverse the charting is? Yes I also look at the note graph to figure out how difficult it seems. I feel like that is more accurate than the actual rating number.

I just need to vent a little because I'm spiraling this weekend. I have ADHD and is not on medication. So I've been at this job for a couple of years. I had an old manager that was very hands off, let me do what I need to do to get the job done. She is a very cool manager. Things changed when she had to retire.

Everything was fine till my department got a new manager. Everything was ok until my work started to get scrutinized. Things got more strict and it felt like my work was getting put under a magnifying glass. It caused me so much anxiety because my boss is saying I need to stop making mistakes and fix it. He would threaten me with a pip in my 1 on 1 meetings. The end of year cam and I didn't get a good performance review.

I contemplated to quit after that but I stick to my job because I am scared of job searching in this economy. I tried my best to fix the mistakes that I made thinking I somewhat fixed the problem. Until last week when I had another 1 on 1 with my boss. He said I keep making mistakes and that this is the last time he is going to warn me about it. My anxiety is through the roof during that meeting because I though I improved. I tried my best to fix the mistake I been called out on but I guess it wasn't enough.

I plan to send in my 2 week notice on Monday. The anxiety of being scared to make mistake and me spiraling is just not worth it. I have some money saved up but I pray that I will get another job soon. But also I have anxiety of this economy right now. I have yet to tell my parents I plan on quitting. Not sure how they will react. I'm nervous of submitting my letter tomorrow and having to deal with going to work that I hate for 2 weeks. My anxiety is caused by not being good enough and my ADHD makes me feel incompetent. I just need to release this off my chest and thanks to those to read all of this.

Love the new cab design.