u/doodlebunny

I had been in no contact with an ex situationship for 6 months and last night I reached out to him after a few drinks with my friends. I went to the bar where he was at and we were okay for the first 5 minutes. We were laughing and joking until he brought up how I was madly in love with him. I felt his ego, his confidence and I suddenly felt an ick.

I saw him at the bar because I wanted to feel his presence. I missed him and I just felt like I wanted him at my side. So when he joked about our time together, how I was into him and how he was trying to touch me and imply to hook up with me, I just calmly nodded my head left and right while smiling. He asked me “no?” and I said “yeah”. I didn’t ask him how he was, his life update or anything. He just told them
to me straight up. Weirdly I didn’t feel anything while he was telling me his updates.

He asked if I’ve been seeing someone or if I’m out dating other guys and I just said “why would I tell you that?”. I felt like he wanted access to me again. I told him that one time I saw his hinge profile asking girls around his area to hit him up to “grab a bite”. He was embarrassed but I knew that he knows now what I think of him.

So when he kept on trying to offer to hook up, I said I’m heading home. He asked if he’s never getting a hug anymore and I still went in for a hug. I was still warm. I was still
kind but I chose myself and my self respect last night because I don’t want to wake up again regretting and being on the same cycle again.

I was seeing this guy for a month. At first it was fun and we always have a laugh. He was planning 3 out of 4 dates. I planned the 4th date because I wanted to watch a movie at the cinema. We ended the day fun and I even slept over at his. I went home the next day happy and calm.

Next day he was tapering off his messages. I tried to communicate that it would be nice to have a more consistent communication since I felt that he’s starting to only communicate whenever we have an upcoming date and I felt that the last date was fun enough to feel some consistency as I’m not looking for a fwb or something short term. He agreed and he did messaged a little more but once the work week started, he wasn’t messaging as much again saying he’s quite busy at work. He did promised that we’ll go out on saturday and I even checked in later that week if we’re still pushing for it and he said yes.

Come saturday, he sent a voice message apologizing that he was busy and tired the day before and only woke up around 10am and have not been able to plan our date. He gave plenty of excuses about him sleeping at the couch because he was so tired, he still has to figure out his day, that their client had so many requests to finish, etc. Ultimately, I was disappointed as I don’t know if it’s for real. He tried to reschedule for sunday but I didn’t feel like meeting him anymore as I feel like I waited for more than a week to see him again. I kept things sounding warm and was checking if he’ll still reach out and it’s been more than 24hrs now but he hasn’t reached out again.

I don’t know if I should have just said yes to him rescheduling but at the same time, I feel like he can’t just have me available any day he wants to.