I have no safe person in my life. I don't have that one person i can rely on, and just feel safe with. I am so tired and burned out of having to keep it all inside. I have tried therapy but it made things even worse! I am truly a hopeless case.
I don't know what is going on but I have seen so many trauma j formed therapists so far and I still feel stuck and like I am going nowhere. I wonder if therapy is even worth it because I don't see any improvement at all. I am just stuck for years now not getting better or improving at all and I don't even know where to get help if therapy is not helping me.
Is it because I am so fucked up that therapy isn't working?
I had to move back in with my dad because I ran out of money.
I feel really heartbroken because he didn't change at all. I feel invisible in this house. He doesn't ask questions, doesn't even show any interest in me or what i am doing and we just exist in the same place but with no emotional connection at all. When i am outside and see families seemingly getting along or just having normal conversations I feel so close to tears because i never had that and will never have that, and I just cannot comprehend why they got so lucky to have this family and i didn't. I seriously feel so broken right now. I am SO TIRED of feeling invisible but i also don't want to keep chasing my dad's affection or care. I don't even know what to do in this situation and how to not be so heartbroken over it because this pain is literally stopping me from job searching and making future plans.