u/drive__north

What happened? Even a few years ago, it wasn’t this bad. I just opened HER for the first time in quite a while and it’s literally a cross between a cesspool and a ghost town.

Within just two or so days of swiping with a relatively broad age filter (25 and up) and distance set to the maximum for a free user, I’m seeing nothing but unverified, bi-curious, bisexual, and questioning profiles that are obviously bots or trolls. The active, verified profiles that populated my feed before that were largely heteronormative tourists and unicorn hunters. There are actually more straight up MEN than Butch/Stud/Masc lesbians on a “sapphic” app.

My preference is Butch4Butch, so I’m aware my options are limited…but damn, this is demoralizing. The abysmal state of online dating reminds me of why I stayed in a toxic relationship for as long as I did.

Do you gals (lesbians of any presentation) even use the apps anymore?

I’ve (31) been dating this woman (29) for two months and she asked me to share my location with her. I guess I’ve been living under a rock, because I didn’t even realize that’s a “thing.” She took my phone, opened my map, showed me how to do it and, y’all…it kind of creeped me out to see it broadcasting my whereabouts like the damn Marauder’s Map from Harry Potter.

I feel bad because I know she’s been through trauma due to unfaithful partners, but this just feels invasive to me.

I’ve (31) been dating this woman (29) for two months and she asked me to share my location with her. I guess I’ve been living under a rock, because I didn’t even realize that’s a “thing.” She took my phone, opened my map, showed me how to do it and, y’all…it kind of creeped me out to see it broadcasting my whereabouts like the damn Marauder’s Map from Harry Potter.

I feel bad because I know she’s been through trauma due to unfaithful partners, but this just feels invasive to me.