u/echozelda

The only “support” anyone offers is permission to quit!!

I’m wondering if anyone else has had this experience.

I’ve had quite a few bumps in the road with breastfeeding (undersupply, pumping issues, oversupply, poor weight gain, etc). Breastfeeding is something I’ve wanted since day one, so going through these challenges is worth it to me. I currently primarily pump and hoping to return to more nursing at some point.

But EVERY TIME anyone asks how it’s going, and I mention that it’s challenging or we’re trying some new tools, they automatically just tell me to quit! I’m not even complaining or bringing it up, just vaguely answering how I’m doing. I think they genuinely think they’re being supportive, but it’s so frustrating.

“Fed is best!” I totally agree. However, I WANT to breastfeed.

“You’re allowed to stop. There’s no prize for breastfeeding.” I know…. But like I said, I want to breastfeed, that’s why I’m doing it.

“Pumping is awful. You don’t have to do that.” Yeah, I don’t love it, but pumping is currently the form of breastfeeding that’s possible for us. It also retains the possibility of nursing if we can figure that out.

“There’s nothing wrong with formula.” I KNOW!! The reason I’m trying so hard to breastfeed is not because I have some problem with formula. It’s because I want to breastfeed! Like I said the last hundred times!!

No one ever wants to offer breastfeeding support, or tell me all the hard work and time is worth anything. It’s just a constant stream of “if it’s hard then stop ❤️”. At this point I’m starting to wonder if I’m stupid for trying so hard, because apparently everyone in the world thinks the nicest possible feedback is to tell me to give up!

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u/echozelda — 1 day ago
▲ 567 r/newborns

I’d never do it because it’s wildly unsafe…

… but sometimes I fantasize about how nice it would be to sleep snuggled up, hugging my baby to my chest, in a big warm nest of fluffy blankets, with my cats and my husband.

Too bad humans are born so undercooked, lol. So baby is stuck with the boring empty crib for a couple more years. But a girl can dream!

EDIT: can’t believe how much traction my lighthearted post about snuggling got!! So just for the record…

- I do not judge parents who choose cosleeping

- I personally choose to be strict about US sleep safety guidelines because it’s the right fit for my family

- we’re all doing our best out here

- my perfect fantasy involves a squishy mattress, a bunch of animals and blankets, husband asleep too, and myself sleeping like a rock in my favorite contorted positions. So when I said “wildly unsafe” I don’t mean all cosleeping is wildly unsafe, I mean my highly specific dream scenario is!

- have a good day and remember that each of our babies is the cutest best most perfect baby!

reddit.com
u/echozelda — 8 days ago