u/eggsaladsamdwich

We are a mid-late 20s couple. We’ve been together for over 2.5 years, my partner has been depressed for over a year. A lot of it is driven by external stressors (precarious employment, money struggles, etc) and low self-worth.

We haven’t been spending as much time together as we used to (we don’t live together). Yesterday, we spoke about it and he said something along the lines of “I do want to spend time with you, but it just doesn’t make me feel better. I’m miserable and I still feel miserable around you.” When I asked him to elaborate he said that being around me doesn't make him any less anxious or help distract him from what is going on in his life.

I’m struggling to make sense of what he said. I’ve had depression before (diagnosed with PDD and struggled for over 10 years) so I get it. When I was depressed, spending time with loved ones was something that would usually make me feel a little better. I don’t know if he just experiences depression differently, but I’m struggling to not take what he said personally. In my mind, a romantic relationship should lift you up and make life a little easier. If he doesn’t feel happy around me, if my presence doesn’t soothe him at least for a little while, then why are we even together?

I think it also just kind of blows to hear someone say that they‘re miserable around you. This is on top of other things he has said that made me feel hurt (for example, a few weeks ago he said he finds it hard to picture a future together because he doesn’t see a future for himself). I feel like these things just add up.

I’m open to hearing perspectives from other people. Am I making this mean something it doesn’t? Where do I go from here?

I met my roommate online (both mid-late 20s F) and we’re not looking for a 2 bed, 1-2 bath apartment together for late Aug-mid Sept move-in. Our preference is to be close to Queen West but we are open to anything in the area bounded by King-University-Bloor-Dovercourt.

We’ve applied to 2 apartments so far. The second declined us despite us offering $150/month over asking. We both have credit scores 800+, net income $10k/month.

Is this normal? It feels absurd that we are having so much trouble. The only things I could think of that could be a strike against us would be that I have limited rental history (have been living with parents for the past few years) but my roommate has a few landlord references. Not sure if LLs see it as a red flag that we haven’t actually lived together before (the last one was asking a lot of details about how we met before declining). Roommate currently lives in Vancouver but is moving here so that part may look off to them too.

We are working with a realtor but she has been unhelpful. She is very slow to book showings and half our options are gone before we see them. We want to ditch her but she has in writing that we agreed to work exclusively with her, so we are worried she’d come after us. Almost every other realtor I’ve spoken to has been useless too.

Anyone have any suggestions for improving our chances? Should we spin a BS story about how we met? Should we offer more months rent upfront? I’m at my wits end.

I’m also open to PBRs but struggling to find them (many aren’t advertised online, idk why) so if anyone knows of any in our desired area that would be helpful.

Hey! I’m an incoming UofT grad student looking to move to Toronto. I’m looking for some recommendations on where to look for a place to live.

I‘m finding it very difficult to find places to live that aren’t absurdly expensive and actually livable. I’ve been searching for roommates but some people I’ve talked to seem pretty inflexible regarding location or unit type. To make matters worse, most of the 2b2b units I seem to find are ridiculous condos where the second ”bedroom” is a tiny windowless glass box. I’ve seen a bunch of landlords advertising empty rooms in shared units but I don’t like the idea of not choosing my roommates.

I‘d love to know if anyone has recommendations for neighbourhoods/buildings for me to look in.

Here are a few things that might help to know:

- Budget for a shared unit is $1400, but I’d pay up to $1600 for a studio/1-bed

- I’d love to AVOID moss park, regent park, Sherbourne area, and south parkdale

- Ideally I want to live in a neighbourhood I feel safe walking around and transiting to at night as a woman

- I would love to be about 30 mins transit distance max from campus (closer is better ofc)

- I’d be open to living with one roommate, maybe 2

- I‘m a climber so I’d love to live near a climbing gym like Joe Rockhead’s, Basecamp Bloor or similar

- Would love something with a fun and youthful vibe and some good restaurants, entertainment, and social activities

- Would love to live somewhere that is connected by transit to the west GTA (I have friends/family in Etobicoke, Mississauga, Hamilton etc) but it’s not a necessity

Would also love to know if anyone has website recommendations for finding listings. I check rentals .ca, realtor, apartments .com, etc. pretty regularly but they have seem to have slim pickings. I’m also on Roomies and Toronto Home Zone to find shared rooms and roommates but not a lot of leads there either. Anything else I should try?

Hi all, I’m looking for an air purifier that will help with wildfire smoke. I tend to get significant lung and throat irritation during the wildfire season, which seems to be becoming a several months per year thing now. I’m located in Canada and hoping for something under $300 CAD for the initial purchase. Ideally, the filters are easily available in Canada and won’t cost a fortune to replace over time (>$100/year). My room is 15.4 m2 (~165 sqft). I was looking at the Coway AirMega Mighty 1512HH or the Levoit Vital 200S, but I’m concerned about the cost/availability of replacement filters in Canada, and energy costs if I’m running them on the highest setting for an extended period (the poor AQI seems to last several days to weeks at a time). I considered making a CR box, but they seem to take up a lot of space, are unsightly, and I’m worried they will cost more (I spent $80 on 2 MERV 14 filters at Home Depot today for my home furnace). Any thoughts? Are my expectations realistic for this price point?

I am an incoming masters student at UofT looking to move downtown, but I’m not sure if it’s a good financial decision for me. A few things about me:

• Late 20s female
• Have been working full time while living with family for a few years
• ~90k savings
• No debt, no investments 
• No pets, no car

My projections:

• Rent: Seeking 1-bdrm around $1700-1900 rent. Expecting total living expenses $1800-2000 (incl. utilities, internet).
• Groceries: Hard to estimate, haven’t had to grocery shop for myself in a while. I’m a fresh food/cook from scratch person. Hoping to be mostly vegetarian.
• Transportation: Ideally, I’m close enough to campus to walk, so travel expenses will be minimal.
• Tuition: ~$12500 per year for two years. Scholarship for $10k for my first year.

My program has 2 internships. Pay maxes out at $10k per internship but are sometimes unpaid, so I’m not counting on that as a major source of income.

Continuing to live with parents in the GTA is an option, but it looks like it will be a 1.5 hr commute one way via train+subway. I am prone to motion sickness and wouldn’t be able to work on the train, so I’m worried about time wasted. Plus, I just want to move out for sanity lol. However, I know I will have much fewer expenses ($200-300/month for transportation + remaining tuition) and keep most of my savings.

A friend thinks I’m making a poor financial decision and thinks I should find a roommate. It’s an option, but I also know that I can be difficult to live with (based on my experience renting during undergrad) because I like things a certain way. I think I’d have to vet and interview a lot of people before finding someone I’d be okay living with and I’m not sure if that’s worth the effort if the rent will still be $1000+.

I’m leaning towards living alone downtown. However, I know I’ll burn through a good chunk of my savings. Not sure if I should do it, or if I should choose a less expensive option and live with family or a roommate. I don’t know if I should be putting my savings towards RRSP, other investments, saving for my first house, or even holding onto enough savings to buy a car upfront (I know I’ll need one eventually).

Any thoughts?