u/elijaaaaah

IRL, I sometimes smoke weed with a friend of mine. In my dream the other night, were standing outside their apartment and I was eating a joint roughly the size of a hot dog (bun included). It was unlit. It was basically exactly as you would expect: tasted like weed, dry, the paper was papery. The filter (which I ate last -- were I smoking it, the joint would've been backwards) was unpleasantly crunchy.

Edit: Also, no weed fell out. This was a crumbless experience. The paper tore and chewed a lot easier and the weed stayed together a lot better than it would IRL.

I think this is kind of borderline somnigastronomy, but it was in a dream and I did eat it.

I had to choose between shoving a novel or water in my bag (seen above) yesterday, and now I've been on an ADHD-fueled Internet search for the past several hours. I would like to find a bag that:

• Doesn't look like a womens' purse
• Is large enough for a 32oz steel water bottle, my wallet and phone, a novel, a small planner, a small card game deck, a couple small medical items (like an epi-pen), a parking placard, and a small tube of sunscreen, without being packed to its absolute limit
• ...But isn't too much larger than that; I don't want to accidentally slap things (or people) with it, nor do I want to look like a shoplifter by walking into businesses with a huge, mostly-empty bag.
• Is ideally crossbody; I can't stand shoulder bags sliding down, and a backpack has to be fully taken off to access my items (also, I'm not in an area where this is a problem, but... I don't like that all my potentially-valuable stuff is completely out of my line of sight)
• Does not have any real leather parts
• Is ideally boring black, gray, or brown (perhaps some fun accents allowed) so it doesn't clash with anything and doesn't look dirty easily
• No buckles. Don't love snaps, but they're acceptable. Arthritis :(

Doughnut Pyramid (probably Dreamwalker) and maybe Doughnut Gossamer Minorstones seem to fit the bill, but it's really hard to get a guage for the size and if things will actually fit when just looking at them online. (Also, the Pyramid Tiny gets all the cool designs while the big one gets totally left out, so there aren't a ton of design options for it, and I find the generic Pyramid a little fugly.)

Cotopaxi Taal Convertible Tote looks perfect, but it only comes in totally random colorways, and (looking through the review images) I'd be quite unhappy to receive 90% of the combinations I've seen -- I like that they're recycling, and the bags look fun, but a little too fun for the way I dress. I would buy it in a second if it came in black. :(

The Fjallraven Farden Crossbody looks a little bulky, but could be a good option? The Kanken Totepack would be perfect if the straps were crossbody instead of shoulder length.

If anyone has experience with any of the above bags and can steer me towards or away from one, such advice is very welcome -- so is, of course, additional bag recommentations. Sorry if my "wishlist" is a bit too specific -- I obviously don't expect this sub to magically serve me the perfect bag, but stumbled upon you in my searches, and thought you guys might be able to point me in the correct general direction. Thanks :)

Edit: Water bottle is Hydroflask 32 oz Wide Mouth with Flex Straw Cap, current planner is about 3.75"x5.75"