I don’t want to be weird here. I had a very abusive ex when he was in med school and I moved to get away from him. Recently, I learned he matched to a program but I have no idea where in Canada it is.. I assume it was either an emerge or family med residency. I just wonder if there’s a way to figure out where he is so I know if he’s in my vicinity or not. I just want to know for my own sanity.
I was doing so well. Been together for over a year and we have a flat together. Everything had gotten so much better, I had been so insecure over his very serious ex but it got so much better. But he has to go to his hometown to be with family after a sudden death. The same hometown (large enough place at least) where his ex lives.
I just can’t stop freaking out over the minute possibility of them crossing paths. Having a conversation. Catching up. And I can’t be there.
I’ve now stalked her all night. Shuttered in. Just comparing and panicking.
Idk I think this might be a silly post in the grand scheme of this sub.
My (f30) MIL is a very nice person. When we hang out with her, it’s mostly fine and dandy. We got along so well at the beginning but then there was an incident that caused resentment and distance to spur (I’m sorry I can’t say more on this for privacy. But it impacted a lot on our all of relationships). About 6 months have gone by since tha incident.
I think my issue is the amount of time she wants to be with us. She lives about 5 minutes away (this isn’t going to change for at least a decade). Because of the proximity, it leads to multiple “do you guys want to do xyz” several times a week. She will spam text my husband (32m) and eventually gives up and texts me instead when he doesn’t respond. She will be passive aggressive over whatever little milestones or purchases or plans my husband and I do. He has great boundaries with her but it’s still just overbearing. It’s like, she senses the need for distance, it scared her, so she tries to hold on tighter. Which is human nature of course, but it still impacts us.
Husband and I are very low key homebodies. We both work high stress jobs so down time is our priority. My best friend lives down the street and we get together maybe once every few months.
She’s now trying to get him to go on a trip together for a family event that he doesn’t care to go to (without me), knowing we are saving money for our own needs. so that leads to guilt trips and shit.
Like, she’s genuinely nice and I know I have it easy in comparison. But I just want so much more space and less passive aggression and just respect for the fact that him and I are a family and she has now become extended family.