u/empathic_doc

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Hi everyone,

I'm 30, a JR-1 in Respiratory Medicine, currently in Jaipur, originally from Haryana. 5'10", non-smoker, non-drinker.

I'd posted here once before and got a few responses, but most conversations just faded out before they really got going. Thought I'd give it another shot anyway. Maybe the right person hasn't come along yet, and there's a chance someone out here is looking for the same thing I am.

I'm a bit reserved when you first meet me, but I open up pretty fast once I'm comfortable. I like long conversations a lot more than small talk, and honestly more than being on call or text all day too.

I'd rather spend time together offline — find a quiet place, go for a walk, sit somewhere and just talk, or have chai at home and end up talking about everything and nothing. Connection doesn't need constant texting, in my opinion. Sometimes just being around someone, without needing to fill every silence, says more than words do.

Meditation, yoga, reading, nature, and switching off from my phone sometimes — these are things I genuinely enjoy. A quiet evening sounds like a much better weekend to me than a party or a crowded place ever would.

I grew up with fairly old-school values, but I like to think I've got a modern outlook too. Loyalty, honesty, consistency — that stuff matters a lot to me. I think a relationship works best when two people can grow together without losing themselves along the way.

A little about my family — we're close-knit and pretty simple. My father runs his own business, my mother's a homemaker, and my elder sister is married. Being there for each other is basically the whole point for us.

I'm Aggarwal by community, but caste or profession has never really been a dealbreaker for me. It's more about who the person is, how we understand each other, and whether things click naturally.

What I'm hoping to find:

- Someone genuinely looking for something long-term, eventually marriage

- Values kindness, honesty and communication

- Has her own goals, interests and sense of self

- Enjoys real conversation, not just filler

- Prefers a simple, private lifestyle over constantly being out and about

- Non-smoker, non-drinker preferred, though occasional drinking is totally fine

- Family-oriented and spiritually inclined — more about faith and inner growth than rituals or superstition

I'm not looking for someone who checks every box. I'd rather find someone with whom things just gradually feel easy and natural —

Where silence doesn't feel awkward,

conversation doesn't feel like an obligation,

time together doesn't need a screen,

and neither person feels like they have to pretend to be someone they're not.

I know Reddit's kind of a strange place to look for something genuine, and maybe this post won't lead anywhere either. But I tried once, I'm trying again, and I'm still hoping.

Life shows us many faces — hoping to meet the one I don't need to wear one with.

If this resonates with you, feel free to DM me and tell me a little about yourself.

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I'm a first-year MD Respiratory Medicine resident, and I'm genuinely looking for perspective from seniors who've been through this.

What I'm struggling with isn't just the workload or the volume of studying. It's the lack of structured teaching or guidance on how to approach a patient, and why. Things often feel like a checklist of tasks rather than reasoning I've actually learned.

I want to understand *why* a particular investigation is ordered, why one is preferred over another, what the findings actually mean, and how they change management. Even things I feel should be my foundation — systematic CXR interpretation, ABG interpretation, a proper respiratory exam and auscultation, PFT interpretation, clinical reasoning in general — I don't feel like I'm being taught how to approach.

Auscultation often becomes something you do once on admission and then just keep documenting. With X-rays, you notice the abnormality *after* a senior has already pointed it out, instead of learning to read the film systematically yourself.

Everyone says "go with the flow, you'll eventually learn." I genuinely struggle with that answer. How will I learn if I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for, what questions to ask, what fundamentals to build, or why things are being done in the first place?

It also makes me question what my role as a resident is actually supposed to be. If I'm mostly carrying out tasks someone else could do just as well, where's the clinical reasoning, learning, and responsibility that's supposed to make residency meaningful?

This has started affecting me more than I expected — losing confidence, getting anxious, becoming irregular in the department, withdrawing. Then I feel guilty, because I know I'm not giving my training the commitment it deserves.

There's another layer I don't know how to handle: residency can be isolating. It's hard to know who you can genuinely talk to — who's a well-wisher, who's just being polite, who has their own equation with someone else. You get careful about what you say and to whom. I find myself missing having a person, or even a small space, to just sit, talk openly, decompress, and feel like a normal human being for a while.

Between the lack of guidance, the uncertainty about my role, the loss of confidence, and the difficulty finding genuine connection, I've started feeling pretty empty and hollow.

I'm not posting this to complain about or blame my department. I'm genuinely trying to figure out:

- How do you learn when nobody's really teaching you?

- How do you build your own framework for learning?

- How do you develop clinical reasoning instead of just completing tasks?

- How do you find meaning in your role as a resident?

- How do you accept the realities of residency without going numb or losing yourself in the process?

Would really value honest perspective from anyone who's been through something similar — what did you do when you hit this point, and what eventually helped you find your footing?

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Hi everyone,

I'm 30, a JR-1 in Respiratory Medicine, currently in Jaipur, originally from Haryana. 5'10", non-smoker, non-drinker.

I'm a bit reserved when you first meet me, but I open up pretty quickly once I'm comfortable. I like long conversations way more than small talk, and honestly I'd pick a quiet evening or a walk over a party any day.

Meditation, yoga, reading, and just being offline sometimes — that's basically my idea of a good weekend.

I grew up with fairly old-school values but I like to think I have a modern outlook too. Loyalty, honesty and just being consistent with people — that stuff matters a lot to me.

I think a relationship works best when both people can grow together without losing themselves in the process.

Quick bit about my family — we're a close-knit, simple family. My father runs his own business, my mom's a homemaker, and my elder sister is married. Being there for each other is kind of the whole point for us.

I'm Aggarwal by community, but honestly caste or profession has never been a dealbreaker for me. It's more about who the person is and how naturally things click.

What I'm hoping to find:

- Someone actually looking for something long-term, eventually marriage

- Values kindness and communication

- Has her own goals and interests

- Enjoys real conversation

- Non-smoker, non-drinker preferred, though occasional drinking is fine

- Is okay with a fairly simple, private lifestyle

- Family-oriented, and spiritually inclined — faith over rituals or superstition

Not looking for someone who checks every box — just someone things feel easy and natural with.

Where silence doesn't feel awkward,

conversation doesn't feel like pretending,

and communication doesn't feel like a burden.

Life shows us many faces — hoping to meet the one with whom I don't need to wear one.

If this sounds like your kind of person too, feel free to DM me a little about yourself.