u/endlesshydra

Do you guys ever get this feeling of "If I can't be this way, then what's the point"?

It can be about your personal capabilities, personality, behavior, anything. But many times a lot of my personal suffering revolves around not being 'adequate' enough or 'capable' enough or not having a quality that I can't reasonably achieve on my own (ex.: physical features).

And I get this feeling of dread and pointlessness. If I can't achieve/be what I want, what's the point of existing as 'me' then.

And I don't *want* to kill myself realistically speaking. I don't *want* to die. But my mind is a loop of me saying the most horrifying shit to myself and kinda coming to the conclusion that it's not worth it to exist. Everyone thinks I'm inadequate (according to myself. I'm aware this is 100% bullshit, probably, but I can't help thinking like that anyway) and I can't have that. I refuse to accept it. So why bother with anything. I just feel disdain towards my own existence idk.