Exactly what the title says. I’m so destroyed. What do I do? I’m finding this out on my birthday. How can it not be me? How can it be the same girl he cheated one me. The same girl who destroyed me. I feel so unloved. So k I has changed I feel so torn my life is so torn.
Today is my birthday and I don’t have any of my friends come. I feel the longest I’ve been despite being the friend of wish to have to others. I feel my heart is broken in so many ways. I feel so hurt about my SP and it not manifesting when milestones hit like this, I wish he was here. My sp was my ex who I never loved anyone else in the world of. I sound crazy but almost four years have passed since we dated and I still think I if him. The spiral settled down and now I feel I can laugh or think of moments I’d want to manifest without feeling hurt. But it does hurt. It hurts that he isn’t here. It hurt when I’m upset on these days and I still yearn for a text. Admittedly he cheated on me and I feel I can never say these words out loud that I still feel he’s my soulmate despite what he chose to do. I’m scared that if I manifest him back if he’ll cheat on me again. I’m scared to be in the same place I was when we broke up i feel my soul tear apart. Even then years now I can’t shake the feeling of hes my soulmate despite. It hurts seeing his bother date the same gf I knew about marry her, and now announce their pregnancy through social media. It hurts not part of their family to know first. It hurts to see her name change to the one I dream of having my last name to that. I worry all this fear is resisting my future. Has anyone else have the same fear or manifest an SP who did then wrong? I don’t know how to let go of my past mistakes and fear but I don’t ever want to let him go i genuinely don’t i genuinely feel in my spirt that we were meant to be. Any advice ?