Please help this make sense
I've posted once before on a different sub Reddit and have since deleted the post after most people basically called me crazy or brushed me off as being too young to actually remember what happened. I swore I'd just move on and forget but too many coincidences keep happening. Bit of a long read but please bare with me.
When I was young I was sent to this school for preschool early development. I have a few memories of regular class activities but there are things that don't line up. I remember being taken out of classes to be put in dark rooms where I would put on headphones and be made to take strange tests I can't recall too well anymore. I've even been made to take those tests a few more times when I was in public elementary school.
One of my more troubling memories took place in this strange furnished basement like area where me and a few other kids were all being monitored by adults and given a bunch of food items. The room looked nothing like the rest of the school and to this day I can't place where exactly it happened.
Now, my dad has been in the military since youth and it's heavily believed that my dad was groomed into MK Ultra by his at the time step father who had been some form of military officer. He described being taken into a church basement where people would do these strange rituals and has been sexually abused by these people. In the coming years my dad has developed severe DID, has had many alters most of which I have interacted with, and had a military hospital step in and rope her into electroshock therapy where she proceeded to essentially forget huge chunks of her memory including many individuals (My dad didn't even remember me either).
My dad has told me a few strange things whilst growing up. One of which was warning me to never get involved in anything military because they would "be too happy to have someone else from my bloodline". But there was also a period of time in my life where I would have these very strange vivid dreams, dreams that I told my dad about that freaked him out. He had said something about not wanting me to have to go through any of it and I recall him being very distraught and telling me to tell him whenever I had dreams like that again.
The thing is I've always had oddly vivid dreams where I was either made to interact with or surrounded by strange beings. But I've also been plagued by dreams that feel way too real, usually dreams where I'm a child and I'm being abused or manipulated by these adult figures. I've even had one reoccurring instance of this where the dream would continue from later points after the last dream and they only stopped when I told people about them.
I've been having dreams like that again for a while, and it's become incredibly traumatizing. I don't want to give details but one dream had been so sickening I had a mental breakdown as soon as I woke up and can still recall the dream almost perfectly. A lot of the more vivid and strange dreams are the ones I remember consistently.
I've only thought about these things on occasion after receiving these strange sensory triggers and though I can't recall most of what happened I always have this feeling of dread that can lead to full panic attacks if I linger too long. I've also had strange encounters with people that have claimed to know me as well as occasionally being cut off from my father, receiving strange calls, or straight up feeling like I'm being watched. I know I'm not crazy because I've spoke to a few close friends about this and everytime I start to talk about it they'll interrupt me because they feel as though we were being watched.
Stuff keeps getting worse and I have reason to be concerned due to an individual that had reached out to my dad before his breakdown. She told him she was with the military, that she had been watching him, and had even given full accurate receipts to back up her claims as well as finding out she manipulated other people just to interact with my dad in the months they interacted before they had a bit of a separation. Part of me is concerned because although I haven't heard from her she had showed interest in me, went out of her way to contact me and ask me about my life as well as trying to get me to move out of state with her and my father when they were still friendly with each other.
Almost none of it feels real but I've been having these strange dreams again and I'l feel like I'm going crazy. I tried to condense this as much as possible and there are other events I've left out for the sake of brevity as well as in the case I actually am being monitored. I just don't know what to do anymore.