A Life Changing Decision
29F
I am faced with one of the hardest decisions of my life, and it comes with a time limit, so I need to make a decision soon.
I’m the only daughter and only granddaughter. I adored my grandparents, and they always poured their love into me.
They have all passed in the last three years, leaving their properties, homes, and estates to my mother and father to manage.
Well, my parents had me very late, and they themselves are rapidly approaching 80. Simply put, they cannot handle it anymore. The houses are starting to suffer, and things are breaking.
I am an extremely sentimental person, and these homes mean more than a lot to me. Bottom line I do not want to sell my maternal grandmother’s home and land unless absolutely necessary. Not making this move would likely result in that. The other home is in a good spot to be fixed up and sold/rent.
The problem is, I moved post-undergrad during Covid to Denver and have built a life here. I am in a long-term relationship but do not own any property or have children. My lifestyle here is very fulfilling, and I am in an experience-building part of my career needed to make upward movements.
I now have the opportunity (or responsibility, depending on how you look at it) to move home and live in my grandmother’s home while fixing the other up. This is simply something I cannot handle financially or logistically from 1,500 miles away with aging parents. I have also always deeply struggled, to the point of therapy, with not being present for my grandparents’ last years, and I am now worried about the same regarding my parents.
This move would more than certainly spell the end of my relationship, as he is in school full-time and works here with admittedly no desire to move east. I love him very much, and it would break me to lose him. I have not broached the subject with him yet, and long distance may be an option, but I don’t think that would be the outcome….
It would also cut me off from an area where jobs in my field are plentiful. Since I’m in a weird middle area of my career, I’m not sure how that will affect things.
I would look to be there for a minimum of 2 years. The homes are both paid off, and one is on well water, so living costs are not a concern. I do miss many parts of my hometown culture and love many parts of the area, but going from the Rockies back to Appalachia is quite the change, especially when you are an outdoors lover, trout fisherman, and public land enjoyer.
I think I know what the answer is, but I want to hear from those who understand what it’s like to not have siblings to lean on during these changes.
Those of you that have been in similar situations, what did you do?? Happy to hear any advice from anyone.
Thanks for reading.