Dating a guy after 5 years of dating women
Like the title says, I’ve been dating women for the past 5 years. I was honestly starting to think I was a lesbian and would never be in a relationship with a man again.
My last relationship lasted 2 years, but it was really unhealthy—a total emotional roller coaster. I’d been thinking about breaking up with her for a long time, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I mean, no matter how miserable I felt, I loved her.
Then this guy entered my life. He reached out to me first, we started talking a ton, and eventually, he confessed he had feelings for me. At first, I didn't see him that way at all, plus I was still in my relationship. But over time, he kind of won me over and feelings started to spark. Long story short, we’ve been dating for almost six months now, and that was finally the push I needed to find the strength to end things with my ex.
Here’s the issue: even though I broke up with her rather than just leaving her for someone else, everyone around me sees it like I’m fulfilling that classic bisexual cliché—leaving a woman for a man. You know what I mean, right? And it wasn't just my ex who saw it that way, despite me explaining my actual reasons. The most painful part is that my friends saw it the exact same way. Both of my close friends are lesbians, and one of them literally told me, "If I were your ex, I'd be pissed off too. But hey, as long as you're happy."
I felt so betrayed. It felt like it completely invalidated my feelings, my pain, and everything I went through. I realized that my friends and I are heading down different paths now, all because of the gender of the person I'm dating.
Has anyone else been through something like this? I’d love to hear your stories. Honestly, I could really use some support right now.
Edit: I also feel like my identity is falling apart. I’ve identified with being with women for so long that dating a man feels like I’m betraying myself. So none of this is helping at all. Please don't tell me that I actually left a woman for a guy like a cliché—I really just need some understanding right now.