u/figunderthemoon

not sure if i'm looking for advice or just want to commiserate lmao, but pretty much the title; i've been feeling very down about the troubling state of employment and housing in dublin. i'm a yank but my fella's from dublin (both 25), we met in the US on the last day of his J1 working holiday last summer and have been in a long distance relationship ever since. we've been back and forth to see each other a few times in the past year, which is a bit more expensive than it should be because neither of us have good enough jobs to move out of our family homes yet.

we're coming up on our year anniversary now and are eager to close the distance and move in together; america is not ideal for a good few reasons, but the situation in dublin is also pretty shocking!!! he's been in a shitty exhausting job that he hates ever since he got back to dublin from the J1, suppose he's lucky to have a job at all but it eats all his time to apply for better jobs, and the ones he is applying to aren't panning out. every now and then we've been looking at daft.ie and facebook to get a sense of what the story is on flats in dublin, and it's just terrible. i found out today that the average rent in chicago's most affluent neighborhoods is cheaper than your typical lackluster flat in dublin. like ????

his best mate is looking into moving to canada for work, and it's genuinely breaking my heart a bit that he's wondering if we need to try doing the same thing and move to a different country together. he loves dublin in such a bittersweet way, and i love dublin because he's from there. it's not that easy for us to just pick a different place to go, but it's not easy for him to even get a decent job and housing in his own city either, let alone me trying to get a job there. the thought that we might not be able to start our family together in dublin due to reasons outside of our control is really sad to me; if we did, it obviously means we wouldn't be starting our family where i'm from in chicago either, but the option to at least choose without being forced by economic factors would be nice.

this isn't meant to be a political commentary post btw, and i wholeheartedly oppose the violence surrounding anti-immigration sentiment. i'm just sad and frustrated. ever since we've been together, my social media algorithms show me all kinds of new people moving to dublin every day, making their IG reels and posts on reddit about it, and i'm filled with an intense level of jealousy that others seem to be more successful at it, whatever their reason may be.

is anyone else struggling? or succeeding? how are you faring? i would love to know how others are feeling

hi everyone, i can really use some practical advice please. my long-term long-distance boyfriend and i are trying to figure out how to close the gap and are struggling to find a quick but practical path. I've tried asking the various ireland subreddits but my posts never go through because my problems are "too complicated" ? lol, so i think you guys are the only ones who would understand! this might be a little long but please bare with me.

for some backstory, i'm (25F) from chicago and he's (24M) from dublin. we met last summer towards the tail end of his J1 summer work visa in america, he was literally going back to ireland the day after we met but knew he wanted to continue a relationship together no matter what, and he has been truly the happiest gift in my life. we've gone back and forth to visit each other a few times in the past year, which has been incredible but so expensive. coming up on our year anniversary, we're eager to find a way to finally move in together, but this is where the logistics get tricky.

my situation:

i still live at home after graduating college with a BA in creative writing a few years ago but haven't found consistent decent full-time work yet, so i don't have a clear path to ireland/EU via any kind of employment visa right now, and i graduated too long ago to be eligible for a working holiday authorization. i'm considering going for my masters—likely something in public health, because that's one field on the critical skills list i have interest and some experience in. given that it's july, though, i think i waited way too late to apply to grad school for a fall 2026 intake, so the soonest would be 2027.

his situation:

my boyfriend also still lives at home as he just graduated college in law & history last year and has a low-wage sales job that he hates, and he's also been struggling to find decent full-time work in his field, or really any field that would pay well enough for him to move out. the housing and employment crisis in ireland is particularly bad. we're considering elsewhere in the EU or canada, or here in america if we have to. he can more easily get a temporary working holiday visa than i can because of his recent graduation, but i have no real way of moving to canada anytime soon.

we've discussed marriage together (and i've talked to my mom about it, because we're quite close and she has met him and loves him) and it's something we are definitely interested to pursue, but not quite just yet if we can help it. he's convinced his family will think he's irresponsible for marrying before being financially independent (ironically, we could afford to be independent from our families more easily if we get to live together). marriage culture in ireland is generally a bit funny because people tend to get married quite late, couples will literally get a mortgage on a house together as a step prior to marriage. we're obviously in a comparatively unique circumstance, but would like to try other visa options such as employment/school/etc. first if it's possible.

we're both really sad and stressed about our respective employment situations and are trying to figure this out as best as we can. we miss each other a lot as we only get to see each other every few months, and we're desperate to figure out how we can move in and start our lives together :(

tldr; my boyfriend (24M, ireland) and i (25F, USA) are having trouble figuring out how we can close the distance as soon as we can and are seeking advice as to how we can make this happen in our situation. we would live anywhere if it meant getting to live together. if you have advice please let me know <3

hi everyone, i can really use some practical advice please. my long-term long-distance boyfriend and i are trying to figure out how to close the gap and are struggling to find a quick but practical path. I've tried asking the various ireland subreddits but my posts never go through because my problems are "too complicated" ? lol, so i think you guys are the only ones who would understand! this might be a little long but please bare with me.

for some backstory, i'm (25F) from chicago and he's (24M) from dublin. we met last summer towards the tail end of his J1 summer work visa in america, he was literally going back to ireland the day after we met but knew he wanted to continue a relationship together no matter what, and he has been truly the happiest gift in my life. we've gone back and forth to visit each other a few times in the past year, which has been incredible but so expensive. coming up on our year anniversary, we're eager to find a way to finally move in together, but this is where the logistics get tricky.

my situation:

i still live at home after graduating college with a BA in creative writing a few years ago but haven't found consistent decent full-time work yet, so i don't have a clear path to ireland/EU via any kind of employment visa right now, and i graduated too long ago to be eligible for a working holiday authorization. i'm considering going for my masters—likely something in public health, because that's one field on the critical skills list i have interest and some experience in. given that it's july, though, i think i waited way too late to apply to grad school for a fall 2026 intake, so the soonest would be 2027.

his situation:

my boyfriend also still lives at home as he just graduated college in law & history last year and has a low-wage sales job that he hates, and he's also been struggling to find decent full-time work in his field, or really any field that would pay well enough for him to move out. the housing and employment crisis in ireland is particularly bad. we're considering elsewhere in the EU or canada, or here in america if we have to. he can more easily get a temporary working holiday visa than i can because of his recent graduation, but i have no real way of moving to canada anytime soon.

we've discussed marriage together (and i've talked to my mom about it, because we're quite close and she has met him and loves him) and it's something we are definitely interested to pursue, but not quite just yet if we can help it. he's convinced his family will think he's irresponsible for marrying before being financially independent (ironically, we could afford to be independent from our families more easily if we get to live together). marriage culture in ireland is generally a bit funny because people tend to get married quite late, couples will literally get a mortgage on a house together as a step prior to marriage. we're obviously in a comparatively unique circumstance, but would like to try other visa options such as employment/school/etc. first if it's possible.

we're both really sad and stressed about our respective employment situations and are trying to figure this out as best as we can. we miss each other a lot as we only get to see each other every few months, and we're desperate to figure out how we can move in and start our lives together :(

tldr; my boyfriend (24M, ireland) and i (25F, USA) are having trouble figuring out how we can close the distance as soon as we can and are seeking advice as to how we can make this happen in our situation. we would live anywhere if it meant getting to live together. if you have advice please let me know <3

hi all, in a bit of a sticky situation and can use some advice. this is more of a question for my partner who's irish than for myself:

i'm american (25F) but my fella (24M) is from ireland, we met while he was working in america on a J1 last summer. as soon as he got back home to dublin he got a job in sales and graduated college, but the job is making him absolutely miserable and he wants to do something with better pay closer to his field (law & history). he's been applying for a dozens jobs a day but has been ghosted left and right from interviews and has gotten so many rejection letters.

he still lives at home because he can't afford to pay rent on his own on his current wage, but i'm also not able to move to ireland right now. i've been looking for work myself since my last position laid me off, but i think i need to pursue a masters in a better field because my BA is in creative writing—so i have no experience on the critical skills list.

we have no idea what the best course of action is, he can't afford to move out or get married unless he's got a job with a higher wage and we're trying to close the long distance and live together as soon as possible. the idea of him needing to move out of his hometown of dublin because he can't find decent work makes me really sad. how can he find a better job? or should we just look into trying to move elsewhere for now?

hi everyone! i'm from the US and have been looking toward a move to the EU because my bf is from dublin, and i'd like to be able to live closer to him. i may have waited too long to apply to grad school for this fall and my field isn't on the critical skills list, so getting a job in the EU seems tough.

however, i've seen a few friends of mine move to france to become au pairs, and that kind of job i would only be interested to do for another covid-cautious family. i can speak french proficiently, so unless there is anyone in ireland who is looking, france would be my preferred country. does anyone have any experience doing this or know a family who is looking for such a thing?

i would also be interested in becoming an english teacher/tutor, but i don't know anyone who's moved to europe just to do that.

any insights are welcome! thanks :)

i've been following ari since the victorious days and i'm 25 now, so i've seen all of her phases and everything the public has thrown her way. none of it has affected me personally until this last year, with everyone all over the internet (particularly on reddit, but on tiktok, twitter, and youtube too) obsessively sharing her photos and commenting on her body.

i was taken out of school for ED therapy when i was 13, and i've pretty much been recovered for the last 12 years. i have the same height and body type as ariana. i suffered from some trauma the last couple years and was a cigarette smoker so I had some trouble eating and lost a lot of weight, but not because i didn't want to.

in october i quit smoking and more or less recovered from the trauma, so all of this discourse about ariana's body has come at a time where i've gained a bit of weight and have been feeling incredibly insecure about myself.

the photos of her body in and of themselves actually did not bother me at first, but the constant never-ending comments and reshares by the public is kind of what hammered the nail of the coffin into the start of my relapse. ironic, given that they're saying they want her to gain weight, but the hyper-fixation on her body has been making my sick 13-year-old mind jealous.

and i know people will say, "well we have the right to talk about her, she looks unwell, no one is going to stop just for you, you need to take a break from looking," but i love ariana and her work and enjoy seeing what people have to say in general. this is not about you all here, but the way some people snark on her seems incredibly unhealthy and compulsive.

i don't even know if a post like this is allowed, but all of this is just to say that if you are also struggling as a result of all of this inescapable discourse, i just wanted to say that i'm sorry and that you aren't alone. women's bodies are put under a microscope like nothing i've ever seen before, and societal pressure is crushing. i'm sending you love if any of this resonates with you.

hi all! i've been watching a bunch of tour clips since opening night (and now for the last several dates, the complete tiktok livestreams people have been doing, which i'm so grateful for), and i was surprised that aside from the tracklist countdown, ari didn't change the show for any of the LA dates. i thought maybe since the complete tracklist was released yesterday, she might've surprised the final LA date with something new tonight. but it was all the same!

i wasn't as tapped in to what every single date was like across the sweetener tour, but i remember there were a lot of song changes and surprises throughout. do you think she'll do something different with the next stop being a new state, or sometime later in the tour? what do you think she would realistically change? i imagine maybe some new songs off the new album closer to or right after its release anyway, but curious what you all think :)