u/filmsybee

Personally, I feel like I'm a more imaginative SLI who has learned how to clumsily navigate social dynamics. What makes me second-guess this is that I actually possess a lot of internal sentimentality. I also think I might be a bit too eager to open up about my inner feelings and personal experiences with close friends for a typical Fi-mobilizing type.

Also I'm a big daydreamer and romantic. I fantasize romantic scenarios in my head all the time, ponder a lot about existential issues, and I like to help my partners with their inner worlds and care for their emotions, while still caring for them physically and protecting them. Doesn't fit the boring unimaginative SLI curmudgeon stereotype.

I consider myself socially ambiverted, leaning towards introverted.

That said, I’m almost 100% certain I’m a Si-ego type (or at the very least, Si-mobilizing+). I would describe my relation to Si and Se as homeostasis:

• If I’m energized, I’ll keep going until I’m completely exhausted or the task is finished. But if I’m lounging around, it’s incredibly hard for me to snap out of it and get moving.
• I focus heavily on sensory comfort; bad smells and body pain throw me completely off balance. I actively dislike conflict and confrontation. However, if I feel like I'm being pushed, I have to consciously restrain myself from lashing out. Strong emotions overwhelm me internally, and makes it hard to think or concentrate, so I try to keep calm at all times. I love eating, drinking, sensorial pleasures, and I tend to fall on stress eating to cope with stress or anxiety.
• I can't stand pushy, physically overbearing people. It makes me tense up and want to push back. I’d always prefer to resolve things peacefully without ruffling any feathers.
• If I notice someone needs help or is in distress, I will step in and try to fix the situation for them as I see fit, check in on them, a pat to the shoulder. If I think that I need to mobilize people and assert myself, I can do it naturally and comfortably, sometimes even inadequately (asking higher ups to do stuff for me, asking people directly for information etc).
• I suck at using my hands and concentrating on minucious little tasks that require coordination drain me pretty quick. Too much nitpicking about physical organization and schedules are grating to me too, but I strive to be as clean and tidy as possible.

Fi and Fe:

• My Fi isn't high enough to be an EII. I prefer to skip small talk as quickly as possible to get to deep, interesting topics. Because of this, I can sometimes disregard boundaries and come across as too direct or brash. It’s never intentional, and most of the time, I don’t even realize I’m being invasive.
• That said, I’m tactful and perceptive enough to handle day-to-day interactions. I’m a good mediator, I quickly catch onto dishonesty or inconsistent behavior, and I get strong hunches about where relationships are heading (though I've had to learn to trust these hunches over time). I am very polite and formal, but I can mess it up and act awkward. But I'm awesome at interacting with people through roles (being a teacher, a attendant, etc).
• I suck at Fe. My default social mask is just a polite little smile and nodding along to what people say. While I’m quick to laugh and smile naturally, I have no idea how to ramp up the emotional atmosphere or act cheerful if I’m not feeling it.
• Because of this, I probably seem stiff and awkward to Fe-valuing types. I really don't know how to express myself out loud, bring up the vibe, act flirty, etc. I gesticulate and emote a lot when talking, especially if excited. I do know how to push people tho, and I can be somewhat intimidating (which I'm aware is Se).

Te and Ti:

• I firmly believe I value Te. I want to receive information as directly and quickly as possible. To me, what matters most is getting the job done. I prefer a step-by-step learning process where I figure things out as I go and polish the details along the way.
• I dislike reading dense, abstract blocks of information just to store them for no reason; I want to apply knowledge on a case-by-case basis. I have no shame in directly asking someone for information or the quickest way to do something. I like to relate concepts to concrete problems or people.
• It's not that I struggle with abstract concepts, theories, or principles, I just prefer to apply them to a specific interest or problem. Pure logical debate feels pedantic and annoying to me.
• However, I do care deeply about accuracy. I can be incredibly nitpicky about errors and inaccuracies in subjects I’m knowledgeable and passionate about, and I enjoy understanding how things work across different contexts and situations. I like explaining things to people and translating systems/complex things to them, helping them apply systems to their problems...

Given all of this, do you think that SLI is a good fit? Maybe other type would fit better?

I've been reading about the Enneagram for a few weeks now, and I'm fascinated by the system and Typology in general. But as always, it's very hard for me to settle on a type, not only for lack of self-awareness and indecision, but I have to admit that I do have a hard time linking the abstract concepts to reality, and it's the way my mind operates. I learn better and understand better when I can link types to IRL people, for example.

So, I'm torn mainly between SEI and SLI (I'm sure I'm a introtim, even if I'm ambiverted socially) and EII vs IEI as possibilities.

The reason why I'm considering mainly SEI and SLI is that I'm very attuned to physical comfort and pleasure. Stress eating is my main way to soothe and deal with stress, for example. I hate breaking "homoestasis", if I'm mobilized then I want to move until I drop dead, if I'm chilling I don't want to get up to do anything at all. I care a lot about my comfort, easily discern the taste of things (and find great pleasure in it), want to dress neatly and look well-put but be comfortable doing it (I hate tight jeans because they cramp my knees), bad smells and environmental stress messes with my concentration and I can't help but frown, etc.

I think I kinda suck at Ti and am moderately capable in Te, if I'm not misinterpreting the functions. I like learning theoretical and logical concepts, if they can be used or applied to something I'm trying to understand, or to solve a certain problem. And I like to learn in a case-to-case basis, straight to the point, and while this approach can be problematic and easily end up creating holes in my knowledge, but it is how I roll.

If I need to solve something, I will learn what I need to solve it and understand it, and from there expand my knowledge, for example, if I solved a certain problem by using a concept, and I can identify another possibility that concept could be used or reframed, I will ask someone how it could work in that situation. But I don't like to sit down, open a book or something, and start reading a mass of information, store it and use it later. I have no issues about cutting corners to get the job done, too, even if it's not perfectly accurate or the best method. If I can trust them and not look like a fool doing it, I'll ask a person, like a supervisor or something, how something works or what can I do, so I get it solved quicker, instead of just trying to figure it out totally by myself, for me what matters is getting it done, I'll polish it as I go.

I'm not naturally organized and scheduled, and I don't like people trying to push things on me. I want to do as I see fit or as the situation demands.

But with my hobbies and interests, I can be very pedantic with it. I like to be as accurate as possible, I'm very good at remembering facts, names, details. I like to explain how things work, help people out with problems that need technical expertise and competence. I'm clumsy as fuck tho and most of my hobbies tend to be intellectual/artistic, but I do enjoy sports and using my hands to do stuff. I just suck at it, and it can be very stressing for me to deal with that kind of minucious, hand coordination work.

I'm conflicted about Fe and Fi. I think I kinda suck at Fe. When I start talking, people generally find me competent and knowledgeable at first sight, even serious, very polite and formal, easy-going too, and I know how to present myself as agreeable, likeable. But I'm not good at emoting out loud, being super cheerful if I'm not feeling like it, faking emotions (the best I can do is hiding my true emotions behind a poker face and putting out a fake smile), I'm not very gregarious. But I've been getting better at playing along. As a teenager, I was very stiff, dry and polite. My friends used to make fun of me for it.

But at the same time, I can be very silly and funny, and I use sarcasm/humor to bond with people, shitposting, facial expressions, lifted eyebrows, etc. I smile and laugh easily and a lot, but I don't like being over the top with it, and a lot of people say that I look serious and stoic but when they got to know me they saw that I was very silly and receptive. I'm very open to new friendships and I'll engage people if I find them nice and interesting to chat a little. But I keep mostly to myself and answer to people or the situation.

About Fi: I consider myself good at Fi. I know how to treat people differently depending on our kind of relationship, to respect and accept their differences, and I can easily roll with people who are considered difficult to deal with, I kinda just accept that it's how they are, as long they're a good person and considerate towards me, I'll do my best to do the same to them. I can notice sudden shifts in behavior, emotional states, if the person is being iffy or dishonest with me, second intentions, I am very polite and formal, I interact better with people when I have some kind of role.

Where I kinda mess up with Fi is that I am somewhat too blunt and direct with people, and some people don't like how I tease/banter with them, specially if they're the more sensitive/big ego kind (Lately I've been having some problems with a ExE type from work, she's very bossy, dramatic and entitled even if we do the same f*cking job, so I like to tease her from time to time and question her, and sometimes we end up getting angry at each other. I find her very annoying, but a part of me feels a guilty satisfaction from doing it. Most of the time I just ignore her tho). Also I'm too much into generalizing categories and sorting people and things out in them for fun and logical exercise, and I'm aware that Fi-Te is not a big fan of that kind of stuff.

I can be very straightforward and try to bridge the gap between acquaintances and friends quickly, as I like to talk about serious stuff or interests rather than boring small talk, and some people find me invasive or mouthy. Some people think I'm weird because of it. I don't like confrontation (and I avoid it), but if I feel like I have to step up or put someone in their place to defend myself or someone close to me I will do so. I can get VERY angry and take a long time to cool off, so I avoid it to not lose control and my inner peace, as I can mull over something that pissed me off for a long time. I like harmony and strive for it, I want a good, harmonious environment around me, and I feel distressed in a environment with a lot of bad blood. I'm very sensitive internally, so normally I don't fare well with that kind of stress. I can handle heavy physical and intellectual work, but not internal pressure, so to say.

I consider myself a good leader and have no problem in mobilizing people around and assigning stuff, if I need to, but I don't feel a compulsive need to lead or have control. But I'd rather be the leader and make sure everything will go smoothly with the less amount of stress, even if I have to bear more work and responsibility, than leave it to chance or incompetent people. I can be pushy to get people moving.

Even though I can be like that, I do think that I have some personal magnetism (I know there's that thing about Central and Peripheral Types), as some people are always drawn to me even though I'm a boring introvert. Normally I'm adopted by some big bro extroverts who find me endearing, or some younger dudes who find me intelligent and respectable. I'm never alone if I don't want to, and people always seem to look out for me. It's weird, because my friends treat me as a pookie uncapable of doing evil or as a grumpy cat, depending on the friend group.

What conflicts me between intuitive vs sensor: I am very sensorial, but I don't shy away from intuitive, abstract reasoning either, and I like to go deep, understand the why and how's of life, I consider myself very philosophical and concerned with existential issues, even if I don't care much about ideologies. I like to daydream, mull over things in my head (mainly Typology and IRL stuff these days), finding loopholes in things, questioning how I fit into the system, how other people fit in the system, trying to make my logic be sound, thinking about relationships, why I'm the way I am... I'm very melancholic by nature too, feel strong emotions. With close friends I like to vent about what I'm feeling and my reflections, but I tend to guard them close to me, and I won't open up with most people.

I consider myself grounded, even if I'm lazy and hedonistic as fuck. I don't like taking unecessary risks, I want actionable ideas, a good plan for the future, I am skeptical about flighty people and ideas, I trust concrete things and facts, but I do value some big-picture thinking, like taking a low income job that has a greater potential for growth over the years rather than a higher paying job right out of the fence that doesn't have the same potential for growth. Incoherence and inconsistent behavior in friends/romantic partners make me lose my trust in them pretty quickly.

I'm almost certain that I'm either a sp6 or a sp9 with a 4 fix in the Enneagram, if it helps.

I was reading about the temperaments descriptions (EXXJ, EXXP etc) and started wondering how much of that... Socionics fluff is actually useful for typing and understanding people in practice (and in your experience).

For example, if I go by the temperaments, I fit the EXXJ temperament physically perfectly. Fast and hurried gait, pointed shoulders and head like I'm meaning to go somewhere, full of physical energy, shaking legs, piercing eyes, reluctant to actually engage with people. But I doubt that I'm an extrotim. I'm always focused on my own thoughts, what I'm doing and what's directly in front of me instead of focusing on my surroundings.

Do you think that's it's all bullshit or that it has some value?

I'm quite aware of my Si and I was wondering if discerning it's position could help me find my type. I would like some help to understand it better.

-I'm quite aware of my body's internal state. I'm always aware if I'm fine or not, hungry, sleepy, tired or not, and sickness always throws me off. I hate feeling sick, I can feel myself slowly getting sick and pinpoint if I'm getting better day by day and if I feel a stomach ache or head ache, if it's not mild, I can't push through it and focus on relieving the pain, self-medicating, etc. I overindulge in food.

-I care a lot about aesthetics, good looking things, clothes, good food and have a good sense of smell and taste too, I can point out the seasonings and the difference between the taste of the same dish cooked by two different people, or compared to the last time I've had it.

-Even though I'm very aware of my internal state, I hate taking care of my body (unless it's eating hehe), I crave a lot of stimulation and would rather follow the stimulation than following a fixed routine, dealing with obligations, sleeping on time, etc. My sleep schedule is messed up, I'll keep doing what I'm focused in until I get very tired and feel the need to sleep. I'm very restless, I need to be focused on something or I'll tap my fingers, shake a leg... It can be hard for me to sit down and watch something without wanting to multitask, walk around, go read/do/play something I'm hyperfixating about.

-Even though I'm restless, I'm very lazy with chores and too repetitive stuff. If I'm mobilized it's hard for me to settle down and chill, but if I'm slobbing around I don't want to get up and do stuff until something catches my attention and energizes me.

-I like caring for other people in physical ways, acts of service, like tidying their hair, smoothing their clothes, checking if they're hungry or comfortable, I like to hug and kiss close friends/partners/family, feel their smell.

-I tend to fixate on same-ish interests, hear the same songs for periods of time, to revisit certain parts of a song and focus on how it makes me feel, how it relates to me. I don't like to rewatch things for comfort, tho, I don't care too much about nostalgia for its own sake. I'm open minded, but it's easier for me to keep doing something and finish it rather than starting something new. I tend to try new stuff when people give me a push, or recommend it to me. It's all about how things make me feel.

-Close-minded, complacent, stick in the mud people piss me off, being too picky and whiny about sensory things too (people who are overly sensitive about textures, spicyness, etc).

-I kinda suck at kinestesic intelligence, but can get good at doing something with time and practice. I'm not good at working with my hands, poor coordination, etc.