u/findingsunshine63

I saw you from afar today…at work. Why do I lose my breath whenever I see you? I told you my feelings had changed even though this still happens. I don’t want it to. Why can’t my mind and my body be on the same page? It really isn’t fair. I know you probably don’t think anything of it…seeing me. You never did. It’s just another day for you. And my heart won’t stop racing…longing for the impossible. Any one else have this happen? 😞

For those of you that have a LO coworker, how do you handle seeing them? Do you avoid? Do you try to act normal? For me, I pretend that it’s business as usual. I even told him my feelings had changed and I only see him as a coworker…but that’s a lie. It kills me to hear him interacting with other females (he’s a flirt). He is only professional with me…but there is something unspoken between us. I suppose it may always be that way.

I am a 62 yo woman, married for over 30 years. We lost our son to suicide 3 years ago. Before that my spouse was occasionally verbally abusive and condescending. After our son died, he changed. But I became very angry…at him. I no longer stay silent when mistreated. He does not see his own faults but constantly blame shifts. I hate him and I love him. Idk what to do anymore. I have been more unhappy in this marriage than happy. He earns a much higher wage than me and it would be a struggle for me in this economy. I know that’s not a reason to stay. I refuse to allow him to continue with his behavior towards me, which causes conflict of course. It’s scary for me to think of leaving him. Sometimes I want to so badly.

I texted him a week ago after almost one year NC and told him I didn’t feel anything for him anymore. I lied of course…because I have to. I have to pretend that he doesn’t mean anything to me when he means everything to me. I can’t have him. I never could. I’m married and he’s divorced. I think he felt something, I really do. If only I had been single. If we had met at the right time. But we didn’t. So I suffer in silence. This is the only place I can share these things. No where else. Not even with my best friends. And definitely not with him. With him, it is only professional. Coworkers. Not lovers like I had fantasized about. So he will remain a fantasy in my mind. The man I wish was mine but never will be. How can I even go on? I hate that this happened to me and I love that this happened to me. He renewed me…made me come alive again. I am blessed and cursed…forever.

I’m struggling missing him so much. Two problems: I work with him and he used to live down the street from me. He divorced then moved away. Then he came back sporadically. I see him in the neighborhood sometimes and it kills me. A part of me wants him to go back to his wife so he can be close. I’m so messed up. How am I supposed to ever get over him???

I was having such a low moment. Missing him. Wanting him. Desperate to reach out. I almost texted him. But I talked myself out of it. I’m not strong because I have given in so many times. But it’s been almost a year of NC other than at work. No personal contact. Not knowing if he cares at all. Wanting him to so much. Needing him more than air. Now it’s the next day and I’m so glad I didn’t do it. He would reject me again. It would have crushed me and I don’t know if I can survive that again. So hang on…try to be strong my limerent friends. There might be hope on the other side.

My LO and I both married. Months and months of flirting, sexual convos in DM…me attached. Then he divorced but I’m still married and can’t leave my husband. My LO made it clear he wouldn’t cross the line of marriage. He also made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Now it’s almost a year of NC other than at work. It is awkward believe me. I try to be normal around him but I just don’t know how to act. There is an unspoken connection that will never be gone. I miss him. I miss the excitement he brought. I miss his friendship. I know he pulled away because of the temptation and it was a line he was unwilling to cross (but I would have!). It’s very sad to me that we have to experience such a thing. I honestly feel like my LO was the soulmate I found too late. And his words, “We met at the wrong time in our lives.”

I have worked with him recently and am trying to focus on what I’m not attracted to. I think it is helping me. There’s still this feeling of loss every now and then that I experience. I’m not sure why. It has been almost 3 years with almost a year of NC other than work. I am ready to move on from him. Is this a positive sign?

I am needing some advice. I have had my LO for 2 1/2 years. No contact basically, other than occasional at work, for six months. My problem is that when I do work with him, he rarely gives me eye contact and he’s very stone cold. I just want him to treat me like any other coworker. Is that possible? It basically is ripping me apart with the cold shoulder. We used to be close friends and then that ended due to me crossing the line when he asked me to stop contacting him because I’m married. And he told me that he had to keep it Professional due to too much temptation. I understand that but no eye contact? Really? We are adults. I don’t expect special treatment, but I feel so upset over this when it happens. It really affects my self-esteem and I am generally a very confident person. Needing some advice if you can offer any. I’m exhausted over this.

The hardest part for me with my LO is that he was a part of my life…even though we were only “friends”. Now he is only my coworker when not too long ago he said, “I could never forget you. You’re special to me”. Basically turning into nothing to him now. He said he had to change it because it was too much temptation…. that we met at the wrong time in our lives (both of us married to someone else). But I long for the friendship we once had. Will that ever go away?

I have had a coworker LO for 2.5 years. It started after my son died and in an unloving marriage. We became friends. We had a lot in common. He was also in an unsatisfying marriage. We started talking privately and then after a few months it turned inappropriate in private DM. It felt exciting and wonderful at first. It felt mutual. But we were both married. He started pulling away.... constant hot and cold causing much confusion and heartache. I know I was using what I felt for him to fill a gap...to get rid of pain I was feeling. After almost 2 years, he said we had to stop talking privately. It was horrible for me and I felt completely abandoned. I tried to stop...to respect his wishes. But I messaged him a few times and he finally blocked me. I was/am crushed mostly with the loss of a friend. We still work together and it is very awkward...always only professional. I only realized recently that this was limerence and I'm trying desperately to get through this. I have done counseling which has not helped much. I want to be done with this. I want him out of my mind completely. I am still married and he is now divorced and most likely seeking to find someone new. I'm done with it. I've had enough heartbreak.
Trying to love my husband again.