u/firewaterdirt

Hej,

Jag är i 30 års åldern och funderar på vad man ska göra i framtiden. Mest vanliga rådet man får är att komma in i bostadsmarknaden så tidigt som möjligt men kollar man på bostäder som jag är intresserad utav kostar de mellan 2-3 miljoner för en 2a med balkong i en någorlunda bra område vilket jag tycker är helt sinnesjukt.

Jag är inte intresserad av att låsa upp mina pengar på en bostad och gillar att ha flexibiliteten och tryggheten med att leva under mina tillgångar. Dessutom vet jag inte om bostadspriserna kommer växa så som de har gjort förut. Funderar på om det är mer vettigt att fortsätta spara i fonder och låta de växa där istället?

Jag bor idag i en 2a och betalar lite över 7000kr i hyra. Självklart hade idealet varit att äga hus i framtiden men det är också en sjuk summa pengar man behöver lägga. Har också hört otaliga mardrömshistorier om husrenoveringar och jag är inte alls intresserad av att leva det.

Funderar lite på vad man borde göra inom snar framtid. Ska man köpa en bostadsrätt och låsa pengarna där eller fortsätta bo i en hyresrätt?

Jag har kollat lite på stugor några mil härifrån och där kan man hitta rätt schyssta objekt med bra mark för 1.5-2 miljoner vilket jag tycker är betydligt mer rimligt. Jag tror att det hade varit rätt schysst att kunna åka iväg till ett ställe och kunna hålla på greja där. Man kan nästan ha ett hus men för betydligt mindre pengar. Är detta en vettig ide att satsa på?

So I am 30 and haven't had a relationship yet even though I was longing for it since my teens.

I don't think that objectively I am that bad but have never found someone that understands me. I guess people can see that I am a little anxious and insecure at times but honestly just a little encouragement from someone would go a long way for me.

As a person I take care of myself. I have an education, a respectable job, got my own place and keep my home tidy and cook healthy meals. In my free time I work out regularly since I was like 14. I don't look too bad either, but I am on the shorter side at 5'8.

I enjoy being outdoors and more recently I have learned how to dance (which I genuinely enjoy doing btw). So it is not like I sit on my ass all day doing nothing.

I have tried dating apps for 5+ years but have never been able to get passed 2+ dates before things start to fizzle out. To me it has always been difficult finding the balance of not being too pushy, but at the same time trying to move things forward. I have been rejected because I was too needy. I have also been rejected because I didn't show enough interest. WTF!

The problem here is that as soon as the person sees something negative, they immediately jump ship and are no longer interested in continuing dating. Meanwhile I can see some of their faults too, but I am willing to let things slide because I understand that nobody is perfect.

With the ones that do end up more physical, the sex is average at best, with the majority of times she is laying there expecting me to do all the work and I (of course) have to put the effort in giving massages, lots of foreplay and in return get a bellow average bj where she feels grossed out.

More recently I got to know someone from the dancing scene over the past year. She had a long term relationship when we got to know each other so I never really bothered with her and kept it on friendly terms. Mind you she was the one who would always contact me to hang out at bars or invite me to parties and so on.

Well about 4 months ago she ended things with this guy and we have been hanging out more 1o1. We would regularly text each other, have been out drinking together, been on lunches and so on so I figured she felt pretty comfortable with me.

However I have noticed she has gotten too comfortable. Like she is using me as her emotional tampong or something. One red flag was she needed help with her new place she moved to. I felt put off that she felt comfortable enough to ask me to do manual labour for her, especially considering that I have to set aside my busy schedule to help her, but stupid me thought it could be an excuse to get me home to her. Well of course not...

Eventually I got tired of all this and just straight up put her on the spot and asked here if there is something between us. Her reaction was like I had shot Kennedy or something, like "WHAAT??". Yeah shocking right? After spending this much time together it is not even a possibility that I wanted something more?

Mind you I UNDERSTAND that she has just broken up and needs to work things out emotionally, but why should the empathy, understanding and patience ALWAYS be on the guys side? Like why aren't our emotional needs important too? I am not even asking her to jump into a relationship with me, but at least we could have something casual. Shocking that I even dare to consider that right? But of course the reason she does not want to sleep with me is because I am doing something wrong. Fuck off.

I mean how much patience am I supposed to have here? This is basically my entire dating history and I have recently been reflecting that it is not even worth the effort. I feel like a dancing monkey around women, trying to be the right guy for them and in return I see barely any effort being put by them.

I feel like giving up on dating. What do you guys think?