u/fishlover7489

My sister (29) and I (27) are fairly close, we always have been. We grew up sharing a room, telling each other everything and hanging out. Besides the occasional childhood fight we’ve never really had any issues, until now. My fiance proposed to me a year and a half ago and we’ve been actively planning the wedding for around 10 months. My best friend of 16 years, has been heavily involved in the planning and helping me with various wedding projects. My plan all along was to make my friend my maid of honor, but everything went horribly wrong when I announced my bridesmaids.

I took all of the girls out to brunch and gave them all gift boxes to surprise them, everyone was super over the moon except my sister. She seemed very *fake happy,* is the best way I can describe it. She was slightly passive aggressive for the rest of the meal, but I didn’t take it to heart.

Days go by and we met up for coffee at this shop near my work, She continued to give off this weird vibe and I finally ask her what’s up. She started to completely go off on me about how close we are and how she was supposed to be my maid of honor instead of my best friend and how she deserves it more than her. This COMPLETELY caught me off guard and to be honest I didn’t even know how to respond. I tried to apologize but ultimately told her it was my decision and that was that. She got kinda quiet and I assumed she accepted it and that would be the end of it, but no. She decided to bring our mom (who is also a bridesmaid) and dad into this. They both sided with my sister, basically saying “family always comes over friends”

I feel I made the right choice making my best friend my maid of honor, but I’m starting to think I should just fold and give the title to my sister to squash the drama. AITA?

update - we made up

My sister (29) and I (27) are fairly close, we always have been. We grew up sharing a room, telling each other everything and hanging out. Besides the occasional childhood fight we’ve never really had any issues, until now. My fiance proposed to me a year and a half ago and we’ve been actively planning the wedding for around 10 months. My best friend of 16 years, has been heavily involved in the planning and helping me with various wedding projects. My plan all along was to make my friend my maid of honor, but everything went horribly wrong when I announced my bridesmaids.

I took all of the girls out to brunch and gave them all gift boxes to surprise them, everyone was super over the moon except my sister. She seemed very fake happy, is the best way I can describe it. She was slightly passive aggressive for the rest of the meal, but I didn’t take it to heart.

Days go by and we met up for coffee at this shop near my work, She continued to give off this weird vibe and I finally ask her what’s up. She started to completely go off on me about how close we are and how she was supposed to be my maid of honor instead of my best friend and how she deserves it more than her. This COMPLETELY caught me off guard and to be honest I didn’t even know how to respond. I tried to apologize but ultimately told her it was my decision and that was that. She got kinda quiet and I assumed she accepted it and that would be the end of it, but no. She decided to bring our mom (who is also a bridesmaid) and dad into this. They both sided with my sister, basically saying “family always comes over friends”

I feel I made the right choice making my best friend my maid of honor, but I’m starting to think I should just fold and give the title to my sister to squash the drama. AITA?

edit - there’s no tradition in my family of the “sister being the MOH”. my mothers sister wasn’t her MOA and my sister didn’t express explicit interest in being the MOH. She has a very busy life and while we are (or maybe now, were) close, she hasn’t been overwhelmingly involved in the planning of the wedding. She helped with the color scheme, that’s about it.

edit 2 - yes i was the MOH at her wedding 3 years ago.

edit 3 - i’m trying to make an update but the mods won’t let me post it. my sister and i made up.