u/forgottoclockout

I’m 29F, 150lbs, 5”7, diagnosed with depression, and I cannot f\*king sleep. I have tried melatonin, running a mile, workout out vigorously and consistently throughout the week, Trazodone, eating before bed, not eating before bed. Absolutely nothing helps besides weed but I don’t want to smoke anymore. The only reason I smoke is because nothing else gets me to sleep.

I smoke a few bowls and I’m able to fall asleep, but still not stay asleep. And yes, I’ve tried to stop smoking for over a month at a time, and every single night has been exactly the same. I can’t sleep. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep, and if I’m lucky to do so, I’m awake for the day every single morning by 2am. I constantly toss and turn throughout the night. If my fiancé even breathes too heavily, it wakes me up. And once I’m woken up, I of course can’t fall back asleep.

At this point I have 0 libido which is killing me because I want to be intimate. I have 0 appetite and food feels like a chore. I have 0 desire to do anything besides sit in bed. I feel angry and stressed all of the time, and my brain feels like it’s in a fog. I feel like I’m unraveling. My health insurance starts in November, but I’m so sick of this. I feel horrible, is there anything I can do until I see a doctor about this???

I am currently in a custody battle for my 4 year old son. At the last court session the judge determined that he couldn’t figure out where to place our son based on both of our claims of abuse, so he ordered an investigation.

That was in June. Absolutely nothing has happened since then for me. I haven’t been contacted, no one has reached out. The court website as of last week says the investigation is complete and the results will be read at the next hearing, but I’m so confused???

The investigation consists of asking surrounding family about your character and looking at your background and seeing if you’re fit to parent. But I have no surrounding family. They’re all dead. My sons father isolated me hours away from anyone I’d ever known and baby trapped me, so I’m seriously confused on how the court investigated anything about me when there’s no one to vouch for me. I haven’t no lawyer I have no parents no friends. How am I supposed to prove I’m fit to parent when I have absolutely no one around me to prove that????