u/frailstateofmind4444

I guess I prefer the term situationship because I don’t want to fully commit due to my intense feelings towards my ex who is my LO.

I like spending time with the person I’m currently dating, but I don’t feel any type of spark. It’s like I’m just going through the motions with him. I’m really hesitant to break it off though because he’s so nice and I know it’ll crush his feelings and I don’t want to hurt him. That’s not a good reason to stay, but I don’t know how to end it because I do genuinely care for him. Nothing is really wrong either, I just can’t fully get into it. The worst part is when we have sex all I think about is my LO.

What do I even do here? I feel so trapped and guilty for dating someone when I’m not over my ex but at the same time I really want to get over him and get my life back. It’s been well over a year since he broke up with me.

How does one handle being with someone romantically while still being obsessed with an LO?

I guess I’m just venting here and need to get this off my chest somewhere. I’m so confused.

I’m thinking about him so much today. He’s my ex who broke up with me over a year ago and I cannot get over him. I miss him and love him so much it hurts every day. I think about him all the time (especially today) and always wonder what’s going on in his life. This doesn’t feel like a classic case of can’t get over an ex, it feels like an addiction I can’t stop obsessing over. There’s literally nothing I can do about it either. He rejected me and that’s all there is to it. I know that but I can’t let go.

I’m even dating someone else now and still feel this way. And it makes me feel terrible because my ex is literally the only person I want.

Does limerence ever end?

I’ve been casually seeing someone for almost 2 months and it feels like we’re heading towards relationship status a little bit. He’s really sweet to me and I can tell he’s very into me too but I’ve encountered a problem I guess. A friend of mine just set me up with someone I’m super attracted to and have been waiting to go on a date with for a while. Like he finally asked me out but now I’m already seeing this other guy and I really don’t want to *not* go on the date. Do I end things with the current guy before going on a date with the new guy? Do I just do it and not tell him? How do I handle this situation? I’m literally so clueless when it comes to shit like this. I’ll be 31 years old next week and have no idea what to do. Hopefully this is the right subreddit. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks x

How do you handle dating while having intense limerence for someone else?

My LO is my ex bf. We had a terrible breakup and there’s really no chance we’ll ever be together again but I’m still very limerent. He takes up a lot of my thoughts but I really really need to get over him at this point.

I started seeing someone else only about a month ago to try and help me move on but I feel so guilty. This new guy is super nice to me and he’s very into me and I don’t want to let him down, but at the same time I’m still thinking about my ex constantly. I just feel so so bad.

I think maybe I just need to be alone and not date but I’m lonely. I really need to get back to therapy too.

Thanks for letting me vent

I saw a picture of me and LO (ex bf) from two years ago pop up on my snapchat and just feel so triggered by it. It was during a time when the relationship was new and we were really happy together. Now he rejected me, we have no contact, and I’m stuck in limerence hell. Does this ever go away? How do you cope?

I feel so insane and alone. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like he infiltrates everything. Maybe it’s my ADHD or a form of OCD or something. I’m not sure but either way it definitely interferes with my daily life in a sad way. I wish I never thought about him.

I really do. This feeling of limerence and obsession is going to drive me into a spiral eventually.

He was my best friend and the person I loved the most and he cruelly discarded me without warning or a second thought. Since then I’ve been blocked on everything for pretty much a year. It’s been that long since we’ve been in touch but I still can’t get over him. And I don’t know if I ever will.

All day every day I have intrusive thoughts about him and intense flashbacks of our memories. Like things we did together, trips we took, all the countless times I slept in his bed and woke up next to him, just stuff like that. All the time. It’s a constant movie playing in my head. Plus everything reminds me of him.

He’s rejected me and made it clear he doesn’t want to be with me yet I still constantly long for him SO bad.

I want him back in my life and it’s not going to happen.

I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t move on to someone else because they’re simply not him. I’ve tried dating and I feel uninterested. But I really want to move on from him because there’s no chance we’ll be together again.

This is the worst part about your LO also being your ex. You had the life you wanted with them at one time and now you can never go back. It’s literally heart wrenching.

I’ve gone on a couple dates with this guy who’s been so nice to me but every time we’re together my brain constantly searches for everything I don’t like about him. Because he doesn’t “compare” to my ex bf who broke up with and rejected me and is also my LO.

There’s really nothing wrong with the new guy and he’s way different but some of the ways in which he acts almost makes me cringe. I can’t get past it because he’s simply just not my ex who literally is the only person I want.

It’s been over a year since the break up and I want to fully accept he’s gone and move on so bad. Ex honestly treated me like shit so bad and here I found someone else who’s sweet, kind, and interested in me yet I don’t want him.

I feel so shallow and guilty for basically leading this guy on at this point. But it feels like I have to actively force myself to like him. Am I just gonna feel this way with every new person I meet forever?

Has anyone experienced this when it comes to dating around?

Maybe I should just give up on all of it.

It’s so frustrating and sad. My ex feels like my soulmate but we’ll never be together again and I need to just let it go. Limerence is absolute hell.

My ex (who is my LO) and I were together for one year and it’s been a little over a year since he broke up with me. Even when I begged he made it clear he’s not interested.

I’ve had time to process and try to accept it but the hurt hasn’t gone away yet.

I’m actively meeting new people and have gone on a couple dates recently but the intense longing I feel for him is holding me back.

How do I just let it go and move on with my life

I’ve been talking to this guy for just a couple weeks and we’ve met up 3 times. The second time we met we communicated our feelings and I told him I’m just looking for someone to get to know to see if we vibe and to see if it ends up going anywhere. I don’t want to get too serious or move too fast with anyone because I’m not ready. He’s very respectful of that and the only thing he asked is that I let him know my feelings so I don’t lead him on.

The problem is even though we’ve hung out a couple times (and made out once) I’m still entirely hung up on my ex of over a year ago who is my LO. It’s like no one else can compare to him even though this new guy is extremely sweet and very considerate to me which is nothing like I experienced in the past from LO.

I feel so bad because new guy is so genuine and nice how do I tell him I don’t feel anything because I’m still obsessed with LO?

I really do want to move on and this is me trying to but I don’t have feelings for anyone besides LO no matter how much I try and open myself up to new people and new possibilities.

Idk if this makes sense but I feel like I’m running out of time telling the new guy because like I said, he explicitly told me he doesn’t want to be led on and at this point we’ve already had three dates.

Help?

I’m meeting up with this guy I’ve been talking to for a little bit for our third “date” tonight. I genuinely don’t think I’m into him very much and I don’t find him that attractive. Meanwhile the only person I want is my ex bf who’s my LO. Like this guy is super nice to me and my ex is a narcissist so I should be happy about that but I’m not and I don’t care. I find him so absolutely perfect and no one can compare right now. I hate this. It’s been a year since we broke up and I want to try dating again. But this apparently means I’m not ready. Fuck

Two years ago today was my first date with my ex who is my LO. I can’t stop thinking about the year we spent together and how it was one of the happiest times of my life. Now I’m blocked everywhere and we’re no contact except when I see him at the bar once a week but we don’t talk. Not even gonna lie just being near him is the highlight of my week. I’m still so obsessed and heartbroken. I almost wish we were never together or never even met because the pain of losing him is almost unbearable. I’m so miserable without him. I miss him so much, he’s literally all I want and we’ll never be together ever again. How do I even get over something like this

I miss him so fucking much every single day. I think about him constantly. Our time together was so good until it completely went to shit. Now we’re total strangers. Not in each other’s lives at all. And we’ll never be together ever again. That’s pretty much a fact. I’m worried I’ll never not be obsessed with him and he’ll be my LO forever. I literally can’t even see myself moving on to someone else at this point. I’m so miserable without him. I wish more than anything he didn’t leave me. This is so hard and miserable. I need to go back to therapy.

He dumped me a year ago and I still think about him every single day. Obsessively. I’ve gone on dates since then and feel no connection to anyone else whatsoever because of how consumed I am with him. I spiraled when he broke up with me, embarrassed myself begging him not to leave, lashed out at him in intense anger to the point he now wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I genuinely went crazy. I could have just calmly accepted the rejection and respected his decision and quietly kept hope that someday we could reunite. Instead I fucked everything up to the point where I made him literally hate me. I’m completely blocked out of his life on every platform and there will never be a chance of reconciliation. He’s gone forever.

This is all over the place, but I’m miserable. I’ve never wanted anyone more and there’s no chance we’ll ever be together again because of how I reacted at the end. How long does limerence last? Because I’m so tired of this.

I was in a relationship with my ex for a year and I really feel he has strong narcissistic qualities. He essentially discarded me without warning and moved on to someone else while we were still “together”. I knew he was emotionally abusive the whole time but I still stayed because I was so infatuated with him. When he dumped me I became unhealthily obsessed. I would send countless texts that went unanswered over and over again until he eventually blocked my number. After that I started forcing contact by going to places I knew he’d be because I literally felt like I couldn’t go on without him. I know how bad it sounds. It’s been months since I’ve done that but it took me a long time to finally come to my senses and accept my behavior was wrong. It’s also been a year since the break up and I’m still just as obsessed with him only now from afar.

I can’t tell if it’s a trauma bond or limerence. I know this isn’t a ton of information to go off of, but I’m leaning towards limerence because of the obsession I still feel. This wasn’t a normal break up for me. He treated me horribly but I loved him so much and still do. He’s all I think about and I get these intense flashbacks that almost stop me in my tracks all the time. He doesn’t want anything to do with me and he’s made that crystal clear yet I’d still do anything for him. He’s still perfect to me and he’s all I want even after a year.

Has anyone else come out of a toxic relationship still feeling heavily obsessed with the person? I don’t know how to move on.

Hi.. I’m brand new to this topic and just trying to understand it more.

How would you describe your own experience with limerence and what does it feel like for you?

Any reply is appreciated x