Sad. Could use some wisdom.
A few weeks ago, I decided I can’t mentally handle having causal sex anymore. I went over to break things off with the guy I was seeing (though I hadn’t seen him in several weeks at that point and figured he might be seeing someone else). I did sleep with him one last time against my better judgment, which I could not possibly regret more now.
About 6 days after that encounter, I noticed stinging when I peed. I investigated and found a tiny ulcer. There was also a cluster of about 5 blisters starting to pop up. Since it was all external I thought (prayed) it was shaving related, but I got tested and was positive for HSV. I’m not sure the type yet and am going to have to discuss it with my doctor at my appointment tomorrow.
I’m really sad. It feels so absurd that of course that one final interaction is when I likely contracted it. I keep beating myself up for not just ending things over the phone or not giving in to temptation when I saw him.
I feel lucky that the breakout was relatively minor (like I said, all external and no fever-like symptoms, just swollen lymph nodes). It was still incredibly painful & I genuinely can’t imagine having to deal with a worse breakout. I’m lucky that only a week later it has basically cleared up. But I’m still so sad and uncertain. I don’t know what to expect or what my dating life will look like going forward. I don’t know if I should even bother bringing it up to this guy.
Any advice would be appreciated. I know talking to my doctor will help, and I’ve done as much research as possible and read stories from people on this subreddit and others. But I’m still preoccupied with getting as many answers as I can asap.
I haven’t started an antiviral yet, and like I said above, my breakout is almost clear already (except two other spots which randomly popped up on the other side a few days after the initial cluster of 5 blisters). Can it keep spreading? Does a mild initial breakout indicate that future ones will also be mild? Does not internal ulcers indicate anything about the type? Do some people go without antivirals? I’m just so defeated.