i’m struggling (18f)
hi, i’m a new Christian. i have been atheist/agnostic/into new age spirituality for most of my life but i had an experience a couple or few months ago that lead me to Christ.
i truly love God with all my heart. i 100% believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and i’m making it a goal to better myself every day so i can glorify Him.
but i’m also very in love with a woman. we aren’t currently together but i know that it’s not a permanent thing. we cared for one another and we still care for and love each other a lot. she honestly helped bring me to Christ, she is also a believer and i pray for her every day.
i struggle a lot with the thought that being with someone of the same sex is a sin. i am from an area where people are generally southern baptist and while my immediate family is supportive of gay people, my extended family talks a lot about how being gay is wrong and God doesn’t like it. my aunt didn’t even attend her sister’s wedding just because she was marrying a woman, saying she loves them but she “can’t pretend she supports what they do.” i also have OCD so it’s very hard for me to differentiate which thoughts are caused by my OCD and which ones are conviction from God.
this is hard for me because i believe this woman is truly the love of my life and i feel like she brings me closer to God. but i also love God over everything. is me being in a relationship with or being in love with a woman okay as a Christian?