IM A 15 YEARS OLD AND I NEED A BIT HELP
hey, im fuad. 15M. n lonely. i live with my parents and they are evil.
if i have to describe them with their recent actions, i have a cat as a pet and my cat is female. so she gives births to kittens . and i had 3kittens. she were 2months 15days old. and my mom strayed them, i told her that they were small , i will give them to someone, and she said no and i didnt argued bcz they were my parents and if i had argued, situation would have gone worse. and after straying my kittens , my cat is crying like crazy . and her chest became full of milk aand i think she feels pain on that area. and after straying my kittens, my mom was asking : tor ki biraler bacca gular proti maya nai? tor biraler bacca gula falanor por tor kemon lagtese? etc question asking me. and i didnt answered. and why tf she was asking this typa question ?? and after 2days , my cat was crying for her kittens so i go to give her some comfort , my was telling my cat : the kittens have gone to a vacation. i said to her , what tf are you telling to my cat? doesnt you see her situation?? and she started manipulating me by saying: biraler bacca gula je falaise , agular jonno ki amr koshto lage na?? tui ai biral gulare anar jonno amr ajke ato koshto hoitese. shob tor dush. tor karon e biral bacca gula falano hoise.
she was saying things like that. and she blames always me for every actions. and i have to take these actions responsibility and i didnt have done that actions . and whenever i told these to someone, they say: manush aro koshte ase, and bengali parents arokom e hoy. etc type shi. they arent gonna see me, that im a 15years old and what i have to deal it with it. and i give what my parents wants. house chores,helping them, helping in their work, getting better grades, and listen to what they say.
im tired of all of this. and i treat my cat as my own daughter . and they dont let me leave the house ,and even i left the house , what am i suppose to do next. i have nowhere to go ,i would have nothing to eat etc. and some people say im a spoiled brat. and when i ask them how am i spoil brat?? they js shut up.
and now i need some srs help . otherwise im gonna kill myself anytime bcz my mental health is cooked . i go to school, talk to none bcz they are super cringe . and my mind always say me to die. bcz its too much. and suddenly my brain became so suicidal centric. where i go, what i do, my mind only runs on that, always keeping myself into that. and i would have done that if suicide wasnt haram.
and now i js wanna make some money so i can leave my house after my ssc exam. otherwise my mind is super cooked .
and the kittens incident happened in this month. and the past incident is worser than that . and i posted this bcz im tired and i really need help.