u/gatadedance

Hello, I need some perspective. I really cannot understand this behaviour.

For context, he is 50sM and I’m a recent graduate in my early 20s. We work in the same team but he isn't my boss.

At the office, his behavior toward me has been incredibly tense and rigid. On a daily basis, it feels like he straight-up avoids me or intentionally freezes me out, while being completely normal, polite, and pleasant with all the other women on the team.

A couple of weeks ago, our team went on an international business trip for a corporate workshop. Even there, he was visibly cold toward me and it was crystal clear that he was trying his best not to talk to me. Throughout the entire trip, we talked for a maximum of 10 minutes total. When we did talk, we mostly laughed, but then he would immediately vanish.

Then, he would suddenly come back for just 5 minutes, drop highly inappropriate, borderline sexual jokes targeted specifically at me, and disappear again. During a team dinner and while we were out, he came over to make a joke calling me a "best blower," brought up that I wpuld join videochat , and even joked that I must "fantasize about someone" after drinking wine.

Now, to be clear: I wasn’t offended by the humor itself, ot might be just a joke. What bothered me is the fact that he did this only with me.

There is another girl on our team who is also in her 20s. His dynamic with her was completely different. He talked with her a lot more, was perfectly polite, and even flattered her by asking if she is a model. He never made any inappropriate or sexual jokes with her or anyone else. I was the only target for those comments.

On top of the jokes, during those brief 5 minutes when he would reappear, he actually complimented me, telling me his perception of me had changed and that I’m "cool." I may also add that we have a lot in common, music taste, our perspective in life and we like the same alcohol. When we talked about first impressions I told him i am sure you thought I was a bit bitchy, mean, and he replied by "some men really like that".

But the moment we got back to the office? Right back to the complete silent treatment. He acts like I don't exist and refuses to talk to me normally. Yet, at the same time, he casually lets it slip that he remembers random personal details about me, like my specific music tastes.

I’m getting major mixed signals. He acts like he can't stand me and ignores me daily, but then goes out of his way to target me with highly inappropriate jokes before vanishing again, while treating every other girl normally.

Why would a man his age treat the youngest girl like that? Is he intimidated because I stand my ground professionally, is it a twisted power game, or is he trying to keep me off-balance? How would you interpret this behavior?

Hello, I need some perspective. I really cannot understand this behaviour.

For context, he is 50sM and I’m a recent graduate in my early 20s. We work in the same team but he isn't my boss.

At the office, his behavior toward me has been incredibly tense and rigid. On a daily basis, it feels like he straight-up avoids me or intentionally freezes me out, while being completely normal, polite, and pleasant with all the other women on the team.

A couple of weeks ago, our team went on an international business trip for a corporate workshop. Even there, he was visibly cold toward me and it was crystal clear that he was trying his best not to talk to me. Throughout the entire trip, we talked for a maximum of 10 minutes total. When we did talk, we mostly laughed, but then he would immediately vanish.

Then, he would suddenly come back for just 5 minutes, drop highly inappropriate, borderline sexual jokes targeted specifically at me, and disappear again. During a team dinner and while we were out, he came over to make a joke calling me a "best blower," brought up that I wpuld join videochat , and even joked that I must "fantasize about someone" after drinking wine.

Now, to be clear: I wasn’t offended by the humor itself, ot might be just a joke. What bothered me is the fact that he did this only with me.

There is another girl on our team who is also in her 20s. His dynamic with her was completely different. He talked with her a lot more, was perfectly polite, and even flattered her by asking if she is a model. He never made any inappropriate or sexual jokes with her or anyone else. I was the only target for those comments.

On top of the jokes, during those brief 5 minutes when he would reappear, he actually complimented me, telling me his perception of me had changed and that I’m "cool." I may also add that we have a lot in common, music taste, our perspective in life and we like the same alcohol. When we talked about first impressions I told him i am sure you thought I was a bit bitchy, mean, and he replied by "some men really like that".

But the moment we got back to the office? Right back to the complete silent treatment. He acts like I don't exist and refuses to talk to me normally. Yet, at the same time, he casually lets it slip that he remembers random personal details about me, like my specific music tastes.

I’m getting major mixed signals. He acts like he can't stand me and ignores me daily, but then goes out of his way to target me with highly inappropriate jokes before vanishing again, while treating every other girl normally.

Why would a man his age treat the youngest girl like that? Is he intimidated because I stand my ground professionally, is it a twisted power game, or is he trying to keep me off-balance? How would you interpret this behavior?