r/JustNoCoworker

I (late 20s) work in a very small office of about 14 people. There are only five women in the company, including me.
Originally there were three women, then two of us joined later. Over time, the other four have become extremely close, and lately I've been struggling with how to navigate it.
They do almost everything together.
They buy food together, eat lunch together every day, bring treats for each other, gather around one desk chatting for 20–30 minutes during work hours, go out together after work, and even meet on weekends. Recently they went out for a girls' outing and I wasn't invited.

Their conversations are usually about their marriages, husbands, relationships, and family life. They're very open with each other and update one another about very personal things going on in their lives.
I honestly suspect they even have a WhatsApp group that I'm not part of, although I don't actually know…
The thing is... that's just not me.
I'm quite career-focused. I enjoy my work, I'm studying for certifications outside work since I’d also love to venture in to entrepreneurship eventually, and when I have free time at the office I'm usually reading or learning something. I don't naturally enjoy discussing my private life at work, and I prefer keeping work and personal life fairly separate.

What also makes it harder is that the culture has become very "girls only."
If someone brings treats, it's "for the girls."
If they're going somewhere, it's "the girls."
They seem to avoid doing things with the male colleagues, and sometimes when they're together they complain about or criticize the men in the office. I've never really liked that dynamic because, to me, work is work. I'd rather have good working relationships with everyone regardless of gender.
There's also one of them whose communication style makes me uncomfortable. She'll make comments about my clothes, ask personal questions about whether I have a boyfriend, or say things that feel quite rude, then immediately laugh and say she's joking. After a while those "jokes" stop feeling like jokes.

Now I sometimes catch myself wondering whether I should start bringing food or buying treats just to fit in, even though I'm on a budget and I don't want acceptance to depend on spending money.
To make matters worse, the kitchen area is directly behind my desk, so they often stand there talking loudly while I'm trying to work. I've reached a point where I usually just put on my AirPods and focus on my work instead of trying to join conversations that don't really interest me.
The strange thing is this:
When they went out without me, I felt left out.
But if I'm completely honest, if they’d invited me, I probably would’ve gone just so I didn't feel excluded, not because I'd genuinely enjoy hours of conversations about relationships and marriages.
So now I'm conflicted., am I isolating myself because I'm naturally more private and career-focused of is this just one of those workplace cliques that you accept and stop trying to break into?
I'd especially love to hear from other women who have a similar experience how they’ve navigated it.

Hello, I’m 16 years old and working a full time summer job at a fast food place.

Last night me and my coworkers just got off, ended up finishing late around 3 ish.

All are boys around my age except my GM and basically a shift lead.

The three boys that are my age have known each other since middle school, I had only closed with two and the other(2) came back after leaving around 11 to hang out with the others.

He was just kinda hanging around the store, I didn’t realize before but when he came through the drive though I asked who this was to my coworker and he said to “talk to him” I’ve only now realized he was trying to get me to chat him up.

My coworker(1) the entire night was teasing me about not remembering his(2) name only for me to find out I had never worked with him before and that this was basically his first week.

But the gist of my story is that after we close we’re walking out and after slight small talk I’m getting ready to leave when my coworker(1) asked if I was single, I didn’t think much of it because he was just asking me questions and we were just talking about relationships while closing, I say yes and coworker(2) asks if he can have my number.

I am not close with these boys at all, it’s 3am, there is zero telling what they would do if it said no. I’m not saying they are bad people, given me no reason to think they are but I don’t know them. After slight questioning on who he was(relating back to me finding out it was his first week) I kind of just give it to him.

Everything my coworker(1) did insinuates that they have talked about me before by the way he was playing wing man, but he’s only been here for a week what does this mean. I don’t have any interest in dating, how do I go about this, not do anything? Giving my number doesn’t obligate me to talk to him, but giving it to him did insinuate I had interest, how do I not make this awkward, I work with them both today as well.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been together for about a year. Overall, our relationship is great. He treats me really well, communicates well, makes me feel loved, and we’ve talked seriously about marriage/kids. His family has also been wonderful to me and we just took a trip to Tampa.

I’ve never had a reason to think he’s cheating and still don’t think he is. Early in our relationship, I noticed a female coworker (I’ll call her Sabrina) was one of his recent contacts. He had previously given me his phone passcode before this (which I never asked for) and I gave him mine. Now I know I shouldn’t have, but I looked through their text messages because I felt insecure.

Most of what I saw was her being pretty flirtatious. She used 😘 emojis, called him pet names, played iMessage games with him, sent good morning and good night texts, and occasionally asked him to hang out. From what I saw, he usually responded normally or would bring me up.

I brought it up to him calmly because it made me uncomfortable. He was extremely upset that I had gone through his phone and felt I had violated his privacy. I apologized, and he changed his passcode. He explained that she’s older than him (around 37), has two kids and a boyfriend, and that she’s just naturally flirty with everyone at work. He also said he is not attracted to her at all, just someone who is cool to talk to.

For context, I have more of an “open phone” mindset in relationships, while he believes phones are private. He is free to look in my phone or use it at any time (but he says he’s not into that). My thoughts are that if you are planning to spend your life with someone, it’s understandable to want to make sure they are being true to you - so long as you’re not obsessive and looking through it every single day - more like a once in a blue moon thing.

I didn’t think about this coworker at all for months. Fast forward to now - recently I happened to notice the 💦 emoji in his recently used emojis, while he was showing me something on his phone. I realize he hasn’t sent it to me in 6 months.

I know this wasn’t right, but my curiosity got the better of me again and I checked his Apple Watch, just looking at Sabrina’s text thread.

I saw messages from her like:

“I’m gonna sit next to you and rub your hair when your girlfriend isn’t looking.”

“Gianna looked surprised when I hugged you earlier today.”

(Gianna is a different coworker who he actually does not enjoy and he doesn’t respond to her texts at all).

Or she’d ask him to come with her to certain events. I didn’t have time to read much else, but from what I saw, again he wasn’t really flirting back. He still mentioned me at times, but he also continued talking to her afterwards. The part that hurt me was the sneaky comment.

It’s one thing if someone flirts with you at work, whatever. But when someone knows you’re in a relationship and makes comments about touching you “when your girlfriend isn’t looking,” especially over text and outside work hours, that feels disrespectful to me.

For comparison, I recently had a male coworker get my number from a WhatsApp group chat. At first the conversation was normal, but he eventually became inappropriate even though he knew I had a boyfriend. I immediately told my boyfriend about it. He asked if I blocked the guy or if I liked the attention, so I blocked him out of respect for our relationship.

Now, my boyfriend is not spineless. He’s not one to put up with bullsh*t from people and always speaks his mind/sets boundaries. There have been other women who’ve tried to flirt with him, like a woman he went on a date with before he met me, and he always shut it down and mentioned it to me.

I’m not going to confront my boyfriend or blow up my relationship over this because he really is a great guy, and I don’t currently believe he’s cheating on me. I do think he enjoys the attention to some extent.

I’m mostly wondering if I’m overreacting, or if it’s reasonable to feel this way. I also want to learn how I can stop worrying. Going forward, I will no longer snoop either because I know it upsets him.

TLDR: My boyfriend seems to be entertaining a female coworker who flirts with him over text. Though he doesn’t flirt back, he still engages. AIO by feeling uncomfortable?

I work at a fast food restaurant, and something happened on shift that didn’t sit right with me. 

For my entire shift, I was stationed on drive-thru order taking (where customers place their orders and then pay). I would argue this is one of the most critical station especially during a busy rush.   

Keep in mind that I wasn’t assigned to front counter or the dining room at any point during my shift by the manager.

Towards the end of my shift, a team member (not a manager or shift supervisor, just someone who’s been working there longer than me) came up to me and told me to go clean the dining room. Look, normally I wouldn’t think much of it. Because it is a usual part of my routine WHEN I am assigned to front counter, HOWEVER I wasn’t.

What made it feel even stranger was that they told me while the manager in charge was preoccupied, so it wasn’t like they were passing on the manager’s instructions. Even if that had been the case, the manager would usually just tell me themselves.

This also isn’t the first time. This same team member has previously told me to go clean the dining room when I was stationed at front counter, so it’s starting to feel like they’re just telling me to because it’s me. Don’t know if they have a vendetta against or what, but it is really odd to me. 

To be clear, my issue isn’t with cleaning the dining room. If a manager had asked me, I would’ve just done it without thinking twice. What bothered me was another crew member directing me to do a task when they aren't a manager. It felt like they went out of their way to give me something to do just for the sake of giving me an order. It came across as a bit of a power play, and I really didn’t like that.

I have worked at quite a few other places and almost always the manager is the one who tells you to go clean dining room and sweep or whatever else concerning the dining room. Not a team member.

And if you wanted to know, I did go clean the dining room lmao, begrudgingly.

I originally posted on another subreddit with the title ”I (20F) have a huge crush on my coworker (27M). What would you do if you were me?”, and I have a little update because a lot of people commented and gave me advice

I should probably also mention that like two days ago after my original post, I actually asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime and he replied “Maybe🤔 we’ll see.” So I kind of feel like I’ve already shot my shot. I honestly don’t know if he meant it or if he was just trying to be nice, but either way it’s simply up to him.

Also after reading a lot of the comments and thinking about it, I decided to back off a little. Not because I’m over him (definitely not 😭) but because I don’t really wanna spend every shift chasing him or overthinking every little thing he does. If he wants to get to know me outside of work, he knows I’m interested.

So when we worked together this morning I just acted like I normally would. He actually came up to me first and asked how I was which was nice.

The only thing I changed was that I stopped going out of my way to find reasons to talk to him. If he was the closest person or the best person to ask for help, I still asked him. But if someone else could help me just as easily I’d ask them instead. I wasn’t trying to ignore him or make him notice but I just wanted to stop making everything about him.

That’s why I thought it was kind of funny that I noticed him looking over at me a few times and he’d randomly come over and say something. That could literally mean nothing and I’m not trying to convince myself it means he’s interested. I only noticed it because I wasn’t the one constantly going over to him anymore.

It also made me realize the Snapchat situation changed. Before he’d sometimes leave me on opened for hours or not reply at all and I’d overthink it way too much. Recently though he’s replied to every snap I’ve sent. The funny part is now I’m the one who’s left him on opened a couple of times and replied hours later. Not because I’m trying to play games or anything but because I’m trying to stop making him the center of my attention.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized there’s not really anything else I can do anyway. He might actually be interested or he might not be. And like I said earlier, he might have said “Maybe 🤔 we’ll see” because he genuinely wasn’t sure or maybe it was just the nicest way to say no. I honestly have no idea and I probably never will unless he decides to do something.

And if he isn’t interested, that’s okay too. Obviously I’d love it if he was but I can’t make someone like me. I also don’t wanna ruin my own happiness over a guy. I genuinely like him as a person and I really enjoy having him as a coworker and friend. I’d rather keep that than make things awkward by chasing someone who’s unsure.

So for now I’m just gonna keep being friendly, do my job and let whatever happens happen. If something develops naturally then that’s great. If it doesn’t I’ll be okay with that too.

I feel like this is the best decision for this for the moment. Am i making the right decision?

My ‘M34’ coworker ‘F45’ and I have gotten close this past year. We’d go out to lunch almost everyday and she’d come with me and help with projects as I work as a maintenance worker. The times we weren’t together she’d call me or vice versa and we’d talk while working. We’d bond over typical work stuff like complaining about our supervisor, talk shit about co workers, laugh about stupid things, make jokes about each other or have serious talks about our personal lives. We’re both married and our relationship is strictly platonic, however her niece’s husband recently got hired in my department and I am currently training him.

Now during lunch, it is the three of us, which is fine but she is now totally treating me differently. She is picking on me or making jokes about me which is now gotten to the point where I’ve been the butt of the joke for everything now whenever her and the niece’s husband are together. Whenever he’s not around, she’ll treat me the way she did before and get more serious. This has been bothering for a few days now but sometimes think to myself that I’m over thinking it. I was thinking maybe she was feeling some sort of way but I don’t think so because I never really got that feeling.

How can I bring this up to her without possibly hurting the relationship?

How do you all work with overly chatty coworkers? I’m struggling to stay focused because every five minutes she’s either showing me a new reel or telling me a story about her pet. The constant interruptions are making it really hard to get into a flow.
Whenever she gets stuck on a task, she starts doom-scrolling TikTok, often with the volume on. Sometimes it even feels like she interrupts me more when she notices I’m deeply focused, although I can’t tell if that’s intentional.
She’s genuinely a nice person, and I enjoy talking to her in the right moments, but she talks a lot and doesn’t always seem to pick up on when people are busy. I honestly don’t understand how someone can watch reels out loud in an open office where everyone is trying to concentrate and get their work done.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this? How did you set boundaries without making things awkward?

I will come out and say that I do have mild ocd so this could be it making me spiral.

Story is, this guy got reported to HR. I won't spill the details, but it was pretty bad (violation of company policy, terminable levels). And it's pretty much his fault, he has repeatedly disregarded it, but he is the kind of person who is delusional. He won't ever own up to his mistakes, actually I think he thinks he never did anything wrong. Just denial of reality.

I just got sucked into this mess (I just want to clarify I never planned on reporting it to HR) because in one part of the report, it was pretty obvious the information came from me. He violated a policy in our shift together and the only reason why somebody else knew was because I was just asking for clarification so that I won't be the one to take blame for it, so I just explained the situation to them. Next thing I knew after I returned from my day off SOMEBODY ELSE reported it, they didn't say my name or anything, but the situation itself already points to me.

Now this guy is pretty wacko, he said weird things behind out backs. Saying stuff like: he knows people, it would be so easy to find out where we all live, stuff like that. And a before I got hired I heard he said that he would have stabbed and killed all of them before. But people who knew him wayyy back keep reassuring me that he has always said stuff like that but never has done anything. That he was just a coward and would never have the guts to do something like that.

And I do see their point. With what I've gathered from the guy, he's pretty pathetic. He keeps on making lies (everyone else knows he's lying) to better himself, or to save his ass from his own mistakes. Never admits fault. I think he's just insecure and wants everyone to look up to him but he has no good qualities at all because every single one of his coworkers actively dislike him.

BUT STILL, even if they try to reassure me that he has always said that stuff before, who wouldn't be stressed out hearing about that stuff? Ugh, this is all so annoying!

And to clarify about the report, it's not just my incident. There were more incidences that were included and they were all combined into one report. I was the only one whose incident made it obvious who it came from.

Every morning I'd pass the same coworker on the way into the building.

At first it was just a nod.

Then one day I smiled. He smiled back.

After that, it just became a thing. We'd pass each other every morning, exchange a quick smile, maybe a "Morning," and continue with our day. That was literally the entire interaction.

A few weeks later someone at work asked me, "So... are you two together?"

I laughed because I thought they were joking.

They weren't.

Apparently several people had noticed that we always smiled at each other and had quietly started assuming there was something going on.

Now every time we cross paths, I become painfully aware that somewhere in the building there's probably someone watching the daily episode of whatever romance they've invented for us.

We still smile every morning.

I'm not stopping just because everyone else decided to become screenwriters.

Did I experience limerence, love at first sight, or something else entirely? (Married, 30M)

I'm a 30-year-old Italian man, married, with a baby on the way. I've been living abroad for years and recently spent about 10 days working at my company's headquarters in Milan after a long period of remote work.

While there, I met a colleague (35F) whom I'll call Tatia.

From the moment I saw her, something happened that I hadn't experienced since I was a teenager. I found her incredibly attractive, but it wasn't only physical. She was intelligent, warm, empathetic, multilingual, funny, composed, and had a kind of presence that immediately fascinated me.

At first, I barely knew her. We exchanged smiles and a few words, but I became completely preoccupied with thoughts about her. I started waking up at night thinking about her. I felt anxious, restless, euphoric, and then depressed. I found myself imagining conversations, futures, and possibilities that didn't exist.

What made it worse was the fact that I knew the experience was temporary. I would soon return home and likely never see her again.

Eventually, we had a real conversation. We talked, laughed, and connected on a human level. During a train ride, I told her that someone at the office had awakened feelings in me that I hadn't felt in years, and I admitted that person was her.

She was kind and understanding. She didn't reject me, but she also didn't reciprocate romantically. We shared a genuine moment, then moved on to other topics.

Afterward, she sent me a message saying that "it's rare to have such an interesting conversation with someone you barely know."

That message meant a lot to me.

The problem is that a month has now passed, and she's still in my head every day.

I think about her when I wake up. I think about her while working. Seeing her name in emails still triggers emotions. Sometimes I imagine moving back to Milan (which I was already considering for unrelated reasons) and wonder whether I might see her again someday.

At the same time, I recognize that I barely know her.

Part of me believes I'm in love.

Another part of me suspects that I fell in love with a projection: what she represented to me at this stage of my life.

Because this experience happened while I was also dealing with:

• approaching fatherhood,
• questions about identity,
• thoughts about moving back to Italy,
• years of remote work and routine,
• a longing to feel alive, desired, and emotionally engaged again.

The strange thing is that this experience made me realize I'm still capable of feeling deeply. It woke up parts of me that I thought had gone dormant.

But it also caused a great deal of suffering.

For those who have experienced something similar:

• Was this limerence, love at first sight, or something in between?
• How long did it take for the obsessive thoughts to fade?
• Did you ever reconnect with the person later?
• How did you distinguish between genuine love and an idealized projection?

I'm not looking for validation that I should leave my marriage or pursue her. I'm genuinely trying to understand what happened to me and whether others have gone through something similar.

Thank you for reading.

So I 20 year old (black American F) and my 18 (white American F) coworker just met yesterday, we both traveled to train at a job and we are currently sharing a hotel room together.
The first day we met she was nice and I introduced myself first by telling her I just got to the hotel and followed with my name L and she told me hers J.
So I told her I planned to go pick up something I needed from Walmart and she told me she also need stuff and I invited her along on my uber, we gradually got to know each other throughout the the day and she was very sweet but I noticed she really liked complimenting me… almost too much but I just assumed it’s was her personality.
She also tried a little harder to relate to me in more of a stereotypical way.. telling me she liked kool-aid and pickles… things of that nature and these comments weren’t super frequent but every now and then.
I tried not to think a lot of it.

We eventually got back and to the hotel and planned on going to the pool that night just to enjoy ourselves before training began the next day.
While we are at the pool three of our other coworkers who landed the same day came to greet us at the pool. (Three men) one Hispanic (A), one Dominican (O), and on Black male (D).
We all laughed and conversed for about and hour until I decided I was ready to hit the haystack and everyone agreed.

After we got back to our room I flop on my bed to be a lil dramatic and she tells me she’s gonna wait to shower until tomorrow, but I tell her I’m definitely going to shower tonight and I do so, after she changes her mind and decides she’ll shower tonight too and I didn’t want to think it was because of me but she sounded sure of her decision before.
After we’ve both showered we start to talk and she ask me if I’m interested in D (Black male), I tell her no and that he’s not really someone I’d be interested in and she ask me to show her a picture of my type. I don’t really have one but I show her a picture of this guy I’m currently interested in. She proceeds to tell me she has a crush on D and she says it like maybe I’d be upset about it?
I come from a very diverse family so it would never be an issue for me when it comes to any race dating another. Also it’s none of my business who anyone is interested in, attracted to or pursuing, I just don’t ever really think about it because it’s normal to me to see all kinds of people together.
We continue our conversation and I tell her to navigate it however she wants to and to explore and have fun. But.. she ask me a question after.

“What is it like being with a black guy?”

Annnd?? I was just confused? It came off kinda ignorant to me, I told her that it wasn’t necessarily about race but more about how your partner treats you, common interest, and fundamentals and that it’s didn’t matter if they were black or any other race.
But I think she was referring to sex? Which i don’t even know how to navigate that question because it’s so odd.. hearing someone genuinely ask that in real time.
After I feel like I’ve given her really good advice on dating she stands up, walks around a bit and doesn’t make eye contact when she says it but her words were
“I just hope we don’t start OPPing”
And I was just like what????
If anyone here doesn’t know what an opp is it is basically street lingo for OPPosition or OPP for short.
And I’m like why would we ever be enemy’s?? I’m also not gang affiliated in anyway, shape or form and I do not carry myself that way.
But she made complete eye contact when she asked me what is it like to be with a black guy, almost like she was trying to read my reaction or demeanor… to see if I cared. The whole thing made me super uncomfortable and I just felt like an experiment or like she wanted to reaffirm some belief she’s holding??
I’m decent when it comes to body language and social cues so it was just so odd..

The following day after the big question we both have to be up at training by 6:30am, the previous night we talked about when we were going to get up and she says 5:00am to I’m like ok I’ll get up at 5:30.
She doesn’t get up at 5:00am but instead 5:10am and proceeds to stay in the bathroom until 6:10am…
I had less than 10mins to get ready and I just found it very inconsiderate considering we talked about it the night before. It was more than frustrating almost like she did it on purpose, and she never apologized or brought it up.

As of right now I’m heavily considering asking to change rooms but there is more stuff that has happened and been said that’s has just rubbed me the wrong way..

Other than that after I told her where I was from she invited herself to come stay with me for awhile and I was just like what?? this is our first day meeting?
Also she needed to use the restroom and before I could exit she came in and sat down to pee in front of me..
I understand that we are both young women but me and her are complete strangers and i just find it really weird when people try and form bonds like that with me really quickly..
currently we have only know each for two days and i wanted to explore this new area and enjoy myself but my roommate is turning my stomach sour.

I just wanted advice on is if this is something I should bring up to a manager but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it and I also don’t want to be around someone that makes me uncomfortable during my stay.
I understand that curiosity is something we all experience and she’s is my little sisters age so I have empathy towards her

TLDR: my white coworker asked me what it’s like to be with black guys, and I’m not sure how to navigate uncomfortable situations with her

PLEASE HELP.. I want to de-escalate the situation as much as possible honestly. There’s more that I want to say but I will leave it here for now. Thanks in advance for any advice and I will be responding and updating.
Edit: her question makes me uncomfortable because it implies that black men and or people are different in some way. While culturally yes we all have differences I just found it weird.

Edit: I met her the 28th of june 2026 for anyone wondering.

I (23F) have a coworker (25M) who I’ve had a crush on (yeah I know) for about two months now. We were working alone together (we work in a hotel and he was showing me how to fold the laundry) and he started to get a little too handsy with me as he was showing me how to fold the sheets. It was just small brushes of the hand, then it turned into holding my hands to guide them where they need to be, then the hands lingered there and then when I had my body was pushed against the counter I was too close so he placed his hands on my stomach to pull me away from said counter. Everything was fine for me (a little sus but fine) until the stomach thing. And he touched me there a few more times after.

He apologized for being in my personal space and I was so in shock that I just said it was okay but I was really upset by it.

Later that night I get a text from him and he apologized. I wrote him back and told him truth and how I was uncomfortable and it made me feel upset cause I thought he was better than that but i appreciated that he took accountability.

He said after that he would leave me alone and let me be the first to speak when he sees me next (which I didn’t really like but okay)

He seemed genuine in the text and it seemed like he was seriously regretting his actions. This happened a day ago and he’s currently off so I won’t see him for a little bit so I haven’t been able to feel out the vibes yet.

I want to forgive him and go back to normal with him but I don’t know what to do. My crush on him is there still but definitely not as strong and I of course see him differently. I never give men excuses but I do give people second chances and I forgive but don’t forget. Should I forgive this one?

I work in a clothes department with a bunch of ladies and I'm the only man there, all my workmates are nice however everytime there's a gathering for a leaving due or a bday I just don't want to be with them, maybe I'm an awkward guy? They ask for money and I'm happy to collaborate to do so, but I don't have any desire of being with them after work, is this normal?

I'd like to start out by saying that this is the first time I've posted on this platform so I apologize for any mistakes.

I (21F) have been working with my co-worker (66F, let's call her Jan for privacy reasons) for about a year. I work in an office setting where she is one of my few main coworkers, and we both started around the same time. From the first day I met Jan, she was a little rude? When we were assigned our first minor task, I had asked her if she wanted to complete the documentation portion of it or if she wanted me to. Jan said she would do it. After a day goes by (we were not busy at all) and the documentation isn't done, I asked her if she would like me to do it instead and that I didn't mind. Her words were "I've been doing [this type of job] since before you were born and you don't need to tell me how to do it, smartass." I was like damn ok and kind of let it go. I didn't really know her so I thought maybe that was just how she talked.

Since we started working together she has always slipped in these little jabs about either me being a smartass or a know it all. I try not to get involved in her individual tasks and mind my business, but on multiple occasions she has made some mistakes that unless corrected would have escalated into a bigger issue, so I would help her correct them/ she would come to me and ask the resolution.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago: Jan had decided to go behind our manager's back did something that our manager had explicitly told her that we as a company cannot do. This lead to my manager getting in minor trouble with his boss. My boss had asked me directly if Jan had done what she did, and I said yes. I felt like lying to my boss would have compromised the open relationship we have and gotten me in trouble (I was not involved with what Jan did). My manager confronted Jan about a plethora of things (her frequent mistakes at work, her attitude, and the poor choice she made) and when Jan asked how he found out it was her that went behind our manager's back, my manager said that I had told him.

(It is important to note that our manager himself does frequent checks on our work and catches the majority of Jan's mistakes himself, and we have had other co-workers go directly to our manager when Jan messes up).

Since my manager spoke to Jan and told her that he got the info from me, Jan has become very passive aggressive/rude. She has refused to speak to me some days, deliberately embarrasses me in front of our other co-workers, unsuccessfully tried to get me in trouble on multiple occasions and has increased the name calling. The other day she called me a ""brown noser" in front of everyone at the meeting for saying I had completed our training (my manager had asked everyone at the meeting). She also keeps making petty remarks about how she knows "SOMEONE" in the office is a rat. The name calling and stuff is lowkey starting to hurt my feeling and making work uncomfortable. I really like this job but idk.

Here is my question: what do I do? Do I confront her or do I ignore her? Also, do you think I shouldn't have told my manager the truth/ should I apologize? I have never had any problems at my previous places at work so I don't know how to handle this. Pls help.

I’ve worked at a non-profit for the last two years. Recently we brought back an old employee who left before I started. I was asking about her move and she had told me how her kids (white, as am I) were at a largely black school. She said her oldest didn’t fit in at school because she was a “rich white girl” and at church the girls were calling her a “n* lover”

But she didn’t say n word… that R was so hard I almost fell over. I was in between meetings, and didn’t have time for the conversation at that point but I really have no choice but to address it, especially since I am teaching the DEI portion of her new employee training in a few weeks.

I’ve had a lot of difficult conversations, but haven’t had to with someone in a leadership role and certainly not had to teach them on the subject directly after. Send all the tips and advice!

So I live in a house in kind of a secluded area on the countryside. I got a delivery today. But then the delivery guy was standing outside of my home and it was raining a little. So he asked to come in while I went and got the money for him. So I felt bad because he was getting wet from the rain, and I let him come in so we have kind of a shed at the starting of the house And I'll let him stand under the shed. i got the money and after taking the money he started to ask me questions like, what am I doing?What do I study? Where do I study this?And if my family lives in this house, and what does my dad do? If I have any siblings. i was kind of uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to dodge his questions, and he told me he was new to this delivery job, and he was just at this job to gain some kind of experience. but i've never experienced this kind of interaction with another delivery guy. So, should I be worried? or is?Was this like a normal interaction that i'm just overthinking?