u/ghostmillennial

First want to clarify that I am in no way trying to shame anyone—quite the opposite. I really regret not being more sexually open until recently.

I’m a (very) late bloomer and just lost my virginity recently at 35. Long story short, had a lot of hang ups/shame stemming from a religious upbringing. I’ve long since abandoned these beliefs but that shame/fear really stuck around for too long and made me miss out on a lot. I’ve been making more of an effort to defy it lately and say yes to more things.

One of the things I said yes to was a one night stand with a guy I was only moderately attracted to. I kind of just wanted to get that first time over with so decided to go through with it. The sex was pretty bad, basically zero foreplay and it was unprotected which I know was stupid…it definitely triggered some anxiety the next day even though I knew he pulled out & I took plan b. I know protection is essential, never thought I’d go without it but I think I was just so tired of being afraid I pressured myself into being risky for once.

I’ve been saying for years that I wanted to have a casual sex phase because I never had that experience, but I can’t shake certain fears around it. The whole abstinence education/ STD fearmongering worked on me unfortunately. I’m terrified of getting some permanent/incurable disease and I don’t trust men as far as I can throw them so I’m not just going to believe every guy when he says he’s been tested lately. I feel like the ease of access with the apps has made STDs a lot more common.

All this has me wondering how people just…do this regularly, and how it’s so easy/normal for what seems like everyone else? I feel so self conscious only just figuring this out well into my 30s 😭

I am so jealous of women who can sleep around freely and I’m afraid I’ll never be that fearless. So, ladies who enjoy casual sex, how do you do that without spinning out? Am I just worrying too much? Appreciate any advice…

TL;DR late bloomer trying to become more sexually liberated. Would love any advice from the ladies with boots on the ground.

I was planning to be in Venice for 5 days in September for a friend's exhibit, but I'm considering calling it off because of the apparent hotel situation, so would really appreciate anyone's help!

I've been looking for a hotel for about a week and I'm a bit shocked. I'm between Manhattan and London so I'm used to expensive hotels. But I've stayed in very, very nice hotels frankly above my class and I've never paid more than €500 a night, even booking last minute.

But in Venice, it looks like €500 a night gets you a hotel with terrible reviews and extremely dated furniture. To get the quality I would like to treat myself to on a vacation it's looking like upwards of €870 a night.

Ca' Dei Conti is the frontrunner so far but it's over €648 a night which is shocking for what looks like a pretty mid-range hotel. The reviews aren't great either.

Hotel Bisanzio is another one for €530 a night, but I took screenshots of the room previews --they're below. I'd rather cancel the trip than pay that much for that room out of principle.

I looked at AirBnb cursorily and didn't see much. I generally don't like to do that anyway due to bad experiences. But I'll take another look if people think it's worth it.

Is this just...how it is in Venice? Is there some trick for finding better hotels there that I'm missing? I'm looking on Kayak and my bank's travel portal mostly...but open to ideas or boutique hotels that you all could recommend. I'm desperate.

I'm really sorry if this sounds stuck up or entitled--I promise I'm just working class and trying not to spend literally all of my money if I can avoid it. 😭

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EDIT:

Thank you for all the responses! I ended up finding a couple of small but nice hotels near Arsenale for 4-600 a night but had to split up the trip into 2/3 night stays each.