hey girls, i just need some love today.
last night, my bf and i called it quits after 3 years of dating. i feel like there’s too much backstory to get into, but since april, we had broken up a few times and gotten back together without doing any work to fix our relationship. we also work together professionally in the arts, live together (he’s been primarily at a friend’s the last 3 weeks), have the same friend community, and are from the same culture (east african diaspora), so this heartbreak is going to get uglier. unfortunately, we do not have a collaborative, mature way of communicating or figuring out next steps as a team, as there is a lot of pain present and we just end up crying.
to make matters worse, tomorrow is my 29th birthday. it’s usually my favorite day of the year and i always have a big dinner party, but i cancelled it late last night. i just don’t have it in me to answer anyone’s questions about where my bf is. i have a hotel room booked with one friend for tomorrow night and that’s it.
i’ve felt depressed and i’ve retreated in breakup seasons, but this one gives me nowhere to hide except my own home, which isn’t even really mine right now. i just feel so low, like i’m losing everything. i need some words of encouragement, as i will not be able to sever ties due to upcoming work commitments we have. i just can’t believe this is happening during my birthday. that’s the worst part.