Should we tell them we are pregnant or wait to see if they reach out before baby is born?
CONTEXT My fil has seen my almost two year old once. When she was still an infant. He claims he is a very involved grandpa because he prays for her. He has expressed annoyance that I the DIL don't plan, cordinate, and, facilitate grandparents time. I have continued to not do those things for him. FIL does know I drive 4 plus hours to see my own eldery grandma and even older great aunt. I aim to do this once at least once a month. I do this because both can no longer drive or take care of themselves. I don't consider this to be putting in more effort to my family. My grandparents spent loads of time with us kids as did my great aunt. I genuinely enjoy seeing them and they love my daughter.
Husband and I saw him and his current wife once this fall without my daughter. He hasn't reached out other than Merry Christmas here is 100 dollars. My husband has tired to call twice since but retired fil was very busy and would get back to him... never did. Both of his siblings have spoken to him somewhat recently so we know he is alive.
I'm now almost halfway thru the second trimester we don't know what to do.
I NEED HELP WITH PROS AND CONS OF EACH OPTION.
We send a text we are pregnant and due in x months_
Send a text after baby is born
Send a birth announcement
Send our normal photo Christmas card and just let them figure it out.